


Shot Right Through With a Bolt of Blue

by KittieValentine, topsypervy



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU-Alternate Universe, Alliance, Angst, Bonding, Breakups, C-Sec, Citadel, Consensual Everything, Death, F/M, Fluff/Smut, Friendship/Relationship - Freeform, Lazarus Project, Mental Breakdown, Mercenaries, Miscarriage, Rough Sex, Spectre - Freeform, Thresher Maws, drug usage, friends/lovers, omega - Freeform, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2018-12-22 19:16:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 58,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieValentine/pseuds/KittieValentine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/topsypervy/pseuds/topsypervy
Summary: When life continues to throw Jane into the deep end, leaving her constantly heartbroken and alone, one vigilante at the end of it all can offer her the life she always wanted but it almost costs her her life in doing so.





	1. Professional Angles

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone,  
> So for a long time now I've wanted to write an Archangel fic that involved a lot of characters but I always struggled for inspiration. But, with the help of **Lady_Trevalyn86** and **topsypervy** I now present to you Shot Right Through With A Bolt Of Blue! This is an entirely new format for me, I've never really written such long chapters before and I was inspired by the **Bounty** fic to add locations and dates in bold.  
>  I want to say a massive thank you to all of my regular readers who like and comment, it means the world to me and a massive thank you too **topsypervy** who has read over and over and edited my work! I love you forever!  
>  Each chapter will be inspired by a set of lyrics from a song, if a chapter is missing lyrics, they will be added at a later date, it just means I'm lacking inspiration. I really hope you enjoy this fic! See end notes for links to song.
> 
> Also, you can get in touch with me via email:  
> kittie.valentine@yahoo.com

_'I feel so extraordinary, something's got a hold on me, I got this feeling I'm in motion, a sudden sense of liberty.'_

 

**Zakera Ward,** **14th January 2176**

Jane was a 22 year old firecracker and had been studying a course in Medical Engineering on the Shalta-Aroch Ward under the guidance of her tutor Dr. Karin Chakwas to further her education after completing her service with the Alliance 3 years prior. Wanting to excel in everything she did, she served in various systems, following her dream of seeing the stars. The month started out well, passing her course with flying colours but she soon felt she was losing her grip on the frayed end of her rope, jumping between jobs on different Wards on nearly every day of the week. Life wouldn't settle. Until she met him. 

His name was Decian Chellick, a Turian C-Sec detective who'd been trying to combat illegal arms trading on the Citadel with the help of another agent named Jenna. Jane'd had some bad experiences with C-Sec in the past so she wasn't exactly their biggest fan but the night she'd met him was one she remembered vividly. 

Jenna had been working undercover with C-Sec protection at Chora's Den; eavesdropping on shady customers to gain information for their investigation was relatively easy under the guise of a flirty bartender. Jane entered the club and at once the muffled music she'd heard outside overwhelmed her, the rhythmic bass reverberating in her chest and seemingly taking over the very beating of her heart. The establishment reeked of sin, it was the kind of place where no one dared to make eye contact with the other patrons, each preferring to focus solely on the Asari dancer before them. Jane took in the environment as she approached the bar, the room accented with blood red lighting, giving it a dark, hellish atmosphere that obscured the identities of every individual in sight and she could understand why Jenna's sister had been worried about her. If any of these men got wind she was working for C-Sec she'd likely never be heard from again. Jane sat at the bar for a good while, observing the scantily clad human who didn't quite belong; it was obvious she felt exposed in the tight, assless dress she wore, there was an innocence about her that just didn't fit this place.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not here to order drinks?" Jenna said nervously. It was inevitable she'd know Jane wasn't the usual clientele that frequented the club. Jane propped herself on her elbows, resting her chin in her hands.  
"I just wanted to talk to you about your work with C-Sec." Jane said under her breath, leaning closer to her over the bar in an effort to appear like she was flirting with her.  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jenna began rubbing the back of her neck.  
"Now, if you don't mind, I need to get back to my customers."  
"It's not a game Jenna, these people are dangerous," Jane whispered harshly, but Jenna just scoffed in annoyance.  
"Now you sound like my sister! Why is everyone so concerned about me? I can take care of myself... I need to go, I'm not a stripper, I don't get paid to stand around and look pretty." Jane shook her head in exasperation and decided to leave, the girl was never going to listen to anyone's advice. She was nearing the exit when a Turian bumped into her and she was about to give him what for when he leaned in to murmur in her ear.  
"If you've got questions about Jenna, meet me at C-Sec Academy." His voice was a low growl and when Jane didn't respond, he pushed her away with a little force.  
"Push off! I never did nothing to you. Damn newcomers, think they can run the place!" Jane only just managed to take mental note of his features before he staggered off into the simulated night. Jane's curiosity was piqued by the man, was he pretending to be drunk? Feeling compelled by him, she made her way to the C-Sec academy located near the Upper Wards.

When she arrived, his mandibles were pressed tightly to his face as if trying to hold back his voice. In the light, he looked so very different compared to the shadows of the club. Maybe it was his striking emerald eyes or his unique colony markings or- "Detective Chellick, come into my office, I wanna discuss this in private." Jane approached the desk where he was sat, working at his terminal with numerous datapads open. The office was spartan, white light making it look almost clinical.

"No offence Miss Shepard but what the hell were you thinking?" There was no sincere malice to his tone but merely annoyance.  
"Excuse me?" Jane asked incredulously.  
"You could have blown Jenna's cover," he responded with a tinge of anger laced with worry.  
"I was offering her some advice that was supposed to help her," Jane honestly didn't see how anything was her fault, she'd just been trying to help.  
"I gather that. It might seem cold letting her take all the risk but we're keeping a close eye on her." He said calmly, seemingly satisfied with her defence.  
"Do you really need to risk her life to get the information you want?" Jane retorted accusingly, though Chellick was quick to interject with some pre-scripted spiel. "This job isn't easy and it's usually unpleasant... I'll take help anywhere I can find it. But since you're so concerned with her safety, maybe there's a way we can help each other," Chellick practically purred the last part of that sentence with his subharmonics but Jane knew he was trying to be professional.  
"Always playing the angles Detective?" Jane joked but she was surprised when Chellick smirked back.  
"It's part of the job, now are you gonna help me or not?" Jane thought for a moment and decided there couldn't be any harm in it seen as she was no longer employed.  
"I'll help you but I'm gonna need some details." The detective's mandibles flexed wide as he leaned back comfortably in his chair.  
"I'm trying to track down a legal arms producer, I just need some of their product. Thanks to Jenna's intel, I've learned there's a seller here on the Citadel. Meet our man named Jacks, pick up the mods and bring them back here. That'll give me everything I need." Jane nodded, mentally locking away all of the details.  
"Why are you so concerned about these mods?"  
"We have access to some of the most sophisticated weaponry there is, it's what gives us our edge. What do you suppose happens when we lose that edge? These give criminals an advantage we can't afford to let them keep."  
"I'll persuade Jacks to tell me where these mods are coming from-" she began, only to be cut short.  
"No. You tip Jacks off and all my leads will disappear faster than you can say bad-bust."interjected quickly.  
"Where can I find this Jacks?"   
"Jacks is down in the lower level of the markets. I'll send word through our channels that you're the buyer. Good luck uhm..."   
"Jane," she replied, not realising that she hadn't yet given her name their exchange had progressed so quickly.   
"Good luck Jane," he said as a goodbye. Jane wasn't a hundred percent certain why she so readily agreed to help the C-Sec officer, it's not like he offered her any credits for it either. Maybe it was the way he openly admitted to needing help. Or maybe it was just the way Jane played into the charm of his open hands.

 

**Lower Ward Level,** **15th January 2176**

 

It was simulated morning when Jane began to make her way to the Lower Level Markets in search of this Jacks, knowing that there wouldn't be many people around so any ambush would be easily spotted. She was meandering through the stalls when a Krogan who seemed to recognise her, stopped her.  
"Hold it! That's close enough. You got my payment?" He grunted, blocking her path.  
"Do you have the X-mods?" Jane knew never to just hand over payment without seeing the goods. Jacks looked over his shoulder to a Turian male.  
"Show her the merchandise." Jane studied the goods to be sure they were correct.  
"Yeah, this looks right," she nodded.  
"Damn straight it is, these mods are the best on the market, now hand over my credits," he was beginning to get impatient but it didn't waver Jane.  
Here you go," Jane initiated the funds transfer on her omni-tool and after ensuring the credits had transferred, Jacks handed her the goods.  
"Here you go, enjoy it." He turned back to the Turians again.  
"Come on boys, we're done here," and with that they sauntered off. _That was too easy_ , Jane thought to herself. Maybe if she'd have shot someone it would have been a little more exciting. She made her way back to the C-Sec Academy.

Jane found Chellick sitting at his desk, surrounded by the same datapads. He looked up when he heard her footsteps, allowing a small grin to touch his mandibles.  
"Jane, I hear you have something for me." Jane presented the package and placed it on the desk.  
Here's your shipment Chellick." He studied it for what felt like an eternity.  
"Excellent, this is everything I need. Hm... maybe more than I need. Here, take this. I won't need it and you've earned some payment for your work. As for Jenna, I'll make sure we get her out of Chora's Den immediately. Now, I need to get these mods into evidence, thanks again Jane." She turned to take her leave, stopping when he spoke up behind her.  
"Jane? Perhaps you'd consider working for me full-time now that Jenna's duties are more restricted? We make a good team you and I."  
"I'd love to Detective," Jane replied, allowing a small smile to creep across her lips. He returned her smile.  
"To you it's Decian."  
Jane couldn't quite understand why it felt so good to have helped. Maybe it was because she finally felt like she'd achieved something, like her mother always wanted. The beginnings of a successful, professional relationship.


	2. Future Foundations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Chellick become a lot more than just partners working together and after a lot of consideration, Chellick asks the first of many big questions.
> 
> This chapter contains explicit sexual content throughout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read, liked and commented, it's really appreciated. I'm aiming for weekly updates but this one is a little early because it was already written up. Thanks again to topsypervy for editing and proof reading!
> 
> As always, a link to the featured song will be in the bottom notes and I'm available to contact via:  
> kittie.valentine@yahoo.com

_'Open canvas, stroke you with the paint of innocence, you see the whole sky unfold, and share the view without the tint'_

 

**Bachjret Ward, 23rd April 2176**

 

They noisily stumbled into Chellick's apartment in the early hours of the simulated morning and with the kick of the door, he had Jane's back pressed against it. He couldn’t hold himself back, he needed her like Red Sand. He pressed his mouth-plates to her plump lips in a bruising kiss, his long, rough tongue sliding into her mouth eagerly. Their relationship had begun at a steady simmer back when Jane accepted the position as Informant. The energy that bounced between them was a perfect example of how all teams should work and slowly but surely, their outings had become more daring, more dangerous and the adrenaline that made sure they made it out alive had pushed the chemistry between them to a boiling point and now they found themselves at the point when everything boiled over.

Her hand ran up the inside of his thigh and she began unclasping the latches of his armour, letting gravity pull it unceremoniously to the floor. He tossed his gloves off and gripped her ass tightly, his sharp talons digging into her, rewarding him with a beautiful gasp. With his armour and under suit removed, he was fully out of his plates and her didn't waste a second pondering the fact that she was human. His eyes roved up and down her body, hungrily and he began to slowly undress her, mindful of his unblunted talons. Jane had never been with a Turian before and her eyes were eager to feed on the sight before her. Chellick was... beautiful. His plates silvery with bold colony markings, deep green eyes matching hers, his hide darker than than the hard plates and his manhood was certainly something to marvel at. It was a dark navy-blue, ribbed along the length that was thick at the base, slim and tapered at the tip. Jane grabbed hold of his pre-lubricated shaft, and he breathed hot air against her neck as she watched his body slightly spasm as soon as her hand started stroking him.

“You have so many fingers... they're so soft," he gasped in her ear. Jane pushed him back a little, wearing nothing but a sweet smile.  
“Spirits, you look so good naked... your waist so slim... your muscles firm...” Chellick’s subharmonics almost overpowered his own voice. Jane separated their bodies and made her way towards the couch that sat in the centre of the room. She turned and tilted her head in a 'come hither' motion and he bolted to her so fast the next thing she registered was the way his hands were on her, gripping at her ass, fondling at her breasts, his tongue exploring all over her neck and chest, his teeth threatening to break her skin. It felt so good, it so exhilarating to be with another species like this and then he surprised her out of her thoughts when his fingers moved between her legs and found that sensitive spot. Her breath hitched and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as his lips moved against her neck. She moved her hands between his legs as his fingers slid inside of her, his subharmonics vibrating as he groaned against her shoulder. She loved the feeling of his fingers rubbing over her clit and deep inside of her much more than she would have ever imagined. His hands slowed as her fingers pumped up and down the length of his cock and her thumb swirled around the head of it. She ran her tongue across his neck and bit the soft skin beneath his jaw making him howl with unexpected pleasure.

Jane felt his cock throb in her hand and a primal growl escaped his throat as he grabbed her hips and spun her around, bending her over the side of the couch and sliding inside of her in one swift motion. As wet as she was, Jane wasn't expecting the sheer size of Chellick, he was thick at the base and his sheer length left him pushing against her cervix wall. She gripped the arm of the couch, unable to contain the little gasps that escaped her throat with each of Chellick's deep thrusts, his talons piercing the skin of her hips where he held her tightly against his plates. His right hand slid between her legs, the his index finger rubbing against her tender bundle of nerves. She moaned involuntarily and pushed her hips back to meet his thrusts.  
"Spirits, you're so tight, so hot, so... perfect," Chellick gasped. He leaned over, biting her shoulder just hard enough to send shivers down her spine, but not hard enough to break the skin. His free hand moved to knead her breast and he kissed her back haphazardly, his movements becoming more sporadic as he was getting closer to finishing.  
“Tell me how I feel Jane,” he whispered in her ear as he pressed his finger harder against her in a circular rubbing motion that caused her to lose all ability to think straight, the only answer she was able to give a series of moans, breathing so hard her throat became sore. She was sweating profusely when the wave of pleasure crashed over her body, her muscles clenching around him. That pushed him over the edge with a high-pitched moan that escaped his throat, his subharmonics rumbling as he came inside of her. She could feel the hot fluid rushing into her as he gave a few shallow pumps before sliding out of her and collapsing slightly against her back.

After a moment of letting their breath even, Chellick gently lifted Jane into his arms and carried her to his bedroom, laying her on his bed and climbing up to lie beside her. He lounged propped up on his elbow, emerald eyes roaming her body with a small grin touching his mandibles.  
"We make a good team, you and I," he said after a while. Jane giggled.  
"I suppose we do, Detective Chellick."  
"Are we bringing work into the bedroom now Jane?" His voice was sultry, subharmonics filling her ears.  
"If my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was you who asked me to come here. Now who's bringing work to the bedroom?" She returned, her saucy tone earning her a playful rumble of laughter from him.  
"I can always spare a set of omni-cuffs for troublesome citizens you know," he wrapped an arm possessively around her waist, pulling her into his chest.  
"Oh I'm a troublesome citizen now am I?" She questioned with a quirked brow, the smirk tugging at her lips giving her away.  
"Yes, distracting an officer with your beauty and much more... that's a punishable offence you know." Although Chellick was 9 years her senior, Jane adored his charm, also his innocence. He was sweet and kind, avoiding confrontation where possible, always working the angles but still, a decent man. Working with him had been a pleasure and he was her best friend, maybe more now, her feelings towards him had certainly evolved since the beginning of the year. All she knew for now was that if he was in, she was in; and they definitely had the makings of a new relationship.

 

**Zakera Ward, 7th November 2176**

 

"Decian, you can't keep giving me shorter shifts or restricting my duties to Research and Case Evidencing it's bound to piss someone off eventually!" Jane had been assigned another easy as cake assignment by Chellick and she was disappointed that after all these months she'd still failed to convince him to stop being so obviously biased towards her.  
"Well, I'm in charge at this station so if anyone has a problem, they can come and tell me." He answered dismissively.  
"Yeah, in the form of a grievance! Anyway, I like working for my credits."  
"Research and Case Evidencing IS considered as work, what was your point again Jane?" Chellick sighed, feigning frustration, he loved getting her riled up.  
"Decian-!" She almost screeched, knowing he wasn't taking her seriously.  
"Say my name again." He says lowly, and the deep rumble of his voice melts away any protest she'd planned to utter.  
"You, Decian Chellick. Are incorrigible." She returned, squealing as he gripped her thighs and set her on his desk, swiping the datapads to the floor.

He'd been like a dog with a bone since they had become an item; if she was working in his office, he couldn't keep his eyes off her, if they were out on a task together, he couldn't keep his hands off her and when they were at his place, well... she couldn't seem to keep her clothes on. It was obvious that she was his first serious relationship and she was definitely his first human but it always made Jane blush when they were out in public together; Chellick's arm wrapped proudly around her waist, his mouth-plates pressing against her head as she browsed shops and his inability - no - refusal to suppress his subharmonics whenever another Turian sent them a glare or gave her a playful chirp.

They'd both finished their shift and it was now late evening. Chellick had opted to take Jane to the Zakera Cafe which was located in the Mid-Wards. They were stood in the elevator on their way up to the 27th floor, Jane leaning against the wall whilst Chellick stood with his mandibles tight to his face. Jane studied him for a while, she'd begun to learn the habits of Chellick so when she saw him clenching and unclenching fists, she knew something was on his mind.

"Decian are you-" Jane began, seemingly breaking his preoccupation.  
"Move in with me." Chellick blurted decisively and Jane visibly stiffened. She'd never been in a serious relationship before this, let alone co-habitated with anyone.  
"It feels so right asking you this." He continued, the strength of his resolve easing her reservations, he wouldn't easily give up on her.  
"From the get go, it was never just blowing off steam, I wanted you. You're already always at my apartment as it is and when you aren't, it feels empty with just the scent of you lingering, because it's where you belong. With me." The elevator pinged but neither of them noticed as Jane practically threw herself into Chellick's arms, tears in her eyes.  
"It would mean the world to me," she whispered, smiling up at him as they parted to find some disgruntled patrons of the cafe waiting to take the elevator.  
"Take it elsewhere pyjack, I've got clients to meet" said a dark plated Turian with white colony markings before barging his way past them. Chellick growled but Jane soothed him as she guided them into a booth seat in the cafe.  
They browsed the menu nonchalantly but Jane's brain cogs started turning. She should be thinking of the logistics of moving into Chellick's apartment, but she couldn't stop thinking about that Turian from the elevator, he was familiar and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.  
"Something on your mind?" Chellick spoke up. Jane looks back up at him, her brow slightly furrowed in thought.  
"Hm? Oh uhm, that Turian, the dark one... he seem familiar to you?" Chellick thought for a moment before answering.  
"Nope, should I be jealous he's on your mind?" He threw Jane a playful wink but in all honesty, it did a lot more for her than she wanted to admit.  
"Because if I have competition, I'm gonna need practice."  
Oh God, there's that sultry voice again. He began rubbing his foot against Jane's leg and when she shifted, he took her by the hand and lead her into the Restroom, completely forgetting that they were originally there to eat. Within an instant his face was so close to hers that she could feel his hot breath against her skin. His talons traced lightly over her neck, her hands, her thighs - everywhere.

“Decian, someone could see us…” she gasped.  
“Oh really?” Chellick leaned in closer kissing her neck whilst holding her waist tightly, talons digging through the fabric of Jane's clothes.  
“Uhm... Chellick-” she tried to stop him but his minstrations prevented any protest other than a desperate moan from her. He continued to hold her waist tightly all the while pushing her to move into an empty cubicle but not before turning off the lights. It was small but big enough for what he had planned and he immediately locked them in. Placing his forearm by Jane's head,he leaned down to kiss her firmly giving her no choice but to reciprocate. He traced her thighs with extended talons then moved his hand upwards, sliding it inside her panties.  
“Enjoying this are you?” he said, breaking the kiss. He pressed her harder against the wall and started to unbutton her shirt slowly as his other hand was busy distracting her. He thrust his two long fingers in and out of her sex and used his thumb to circle her throbbing clit. Jane's breathing started to get heavier, her chest rising and falling, moans becoming increasingly louder until Chellick covered her mouth with his one free hand.  
“I know I may be excelling at this but uhm... you gotta keep it down,” He whispered with a wink. He removed his hand from inside her and held his glistening, wet fingers in front of his face before licking them clean with his tongue.  
“I think you're ready," he says as he undid his pants so Jane could see his hard, throbbing cock. Then he slid down her cargo pants, and lowered himself to remove her panties with his teeth. Jane's folds we're embarrassingly wet as Chellick spread her legs with his muscular arms then slowly pushed his cock into her sex.  
“Ahhh, Deci-” She gasped and he immediately covered her mouth.  
“Shhh, dont be so loud!” He growled, slowing his pace.  
“Spirits, youre so tight... ” He maintains his slow pace, teasing her a little as one of his hands reached for her clit again.  
“Faster, Decian. Please-” She moaned into his hand. He obeyed her words like an order and thrust faster than before, quickening the pace as beads of sweat began collecting on Jane's chest.  
“Oh fuck Decian... I-” Jane's inner muscles clamped down on Chellick's cock and that's all it took to push him over the edge he'd been riding.  
"Spirits yes!" He forced himself deeper making Jane yelp as he hit her cervix wall, he loved riding out his orgasm deep within her. Coming down, he began to slide out of her, and noticing some fluids trickling down her thighs, grabbed some towels and cleaned her up affectionately, giving her a wink and a soft kiss. Then, the lights flicked on and they both froze.  
"Spirits, I just ordered my food!" the male Turian banged a fist on the cubicle door in annoyance at the strength of their scent.  
"I swear if I find out who you are, you're paying for my Consort!" Jane and Chellick sniggered before bolting out of the door and towards the elevator, forgetting about their food, the Turian and anyone that had seen them. It was just Jane and Decian.

 

**Bachjret Ward, 2nd December 2176**

 

The morning light filtered through the blinds and began to warm Jane's body which lay tangled with Chellick's. She could hear the deep, gentle breathing of him as he remained asleep, his breath tickling the back of her neck in warm gusts. She let her eyes adjust to the golden light before carefully rolling over to face the sleeping Turian, his arm subconsciously tightening around her waist. She began to stroke his mandible with the back of her fingers, watching the way it flexed under her touch. It brought a smile to her face knowing that this predatory species were such sweet sleepers, he looked content and relaxed.

"It's rude to stare you know," Chellick's gravelly voice cut through the silence and he opened his eyes to give Jane a loving smile.  
"Just admiring the view," she giggled back. They lay together for another hour or so, just enjoying the feeling of one another's warmth before Jane began to stir restlessly.  
"I had best go and shower." She said with a sigh, not wanting to get out of bed but knowing she couldn't delay the inevitable any longer.  
"Do you have to go to work today?"Chellick groaned to himself.  
"I do, Harkin has some information on a Turian dealing in illegal substances, I've managed to draw up nothing on him so I'll take what I can get." Jane went on to take her shower while Chellick waited in bed, returning when she was dressed and ready.  
"Don't leave me too long," Chellick followed Jane to the door pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too Decian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q_-5MJu3y4c


	3. Striking The Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jane meets with Harkin to receive information on a susoect she's investigating, she puts together a ruse to obtain evidence only events go to show it really is a small universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to topsypervy for editing, proof reading and providing me with awesome songs and thank you for the continued following!
> 
> Things are going to get a little bumpy for Jane and Chellick which will signal the start of a new chapter in her life.  
> Link to featured song will be in the bottom notes and I'm available to contact via:  
> kittie.valentine@yahoo.com

__

_'Oh, I got you where I want ya, where to go, this one's gonna cost ya, pays to know.'_

**Bachjret Ward, 2nd December 2176**

Jane had made her way down the hall to await the elevator and pulling up her omnitool, she decided to message Harkin to inform him she was on her way. The particular Turian she was investigating had become nothing but a headache when his case file was dropped on her desk. It contained nothing but a photo and notes on suspicious activities that suggested he was involved in dealing illegal substances so when Harkin said he had information, she practically jumped at the chance. 

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Information  
_I'm on my way to the station now, should be there at 08:15._

Harkin [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Information  
_I'm at Chora's Den, meet me there_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Information  
_Seriously?_

Harkin [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Information  
_Do you want this information or not? I have name, contact details and possible sighting location._

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: You're Gonna Get Fired!  
_Make it 8:30 then_

She had rarely visited Chora's Den throughout her time on the Citadel and although she never found any trouble there, it was most definitely a gentleman's club. Lively but just as deadly. She shook her head and chuckled at the thought of Harkin drinking himself away whilst on work time, he never really set the best example for one of humanity's first C-Sec officers but then again, he did find useful information that had brought tedious cases and lengthy investigations to an end.

Jane was a few minutes away from the club when her thoughts turned back to Chellick. She hadn't felt this giddy over someone in a long time and every thought of that Turian made her stomach flip and nerves tingle. He was utterly tantalising. Under normal circumstances, Jane wouldn't have let herself fall so quickly but there was just something about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Maybe it was the danger of him being a C-Sec officer, or the fact that he was a Turian. Or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't simply rejected her like everyone else she's ever known. 

**Zakera Ward, 2nd December 2176**

When she entered the club, the familiar, muffled music she'd heard outside overwhelmed her once more, the same bass reverberating in her chest and taking over her heart. It conjured an image in her mind of that night when Chellick had approached her, whispered in her ear with that low, rumble of a voice. It had only been a few months of working together and already they could tangle their bodies on practically any surface that could withstand their weight or more Chellick's force when thrusting into her. The thought made her stomach flip and palms sweat but then her gaze settled on the man she needed most right now.

"Harkin, what a surprise to find you here," she quipped as she took a seat opposite him, paying no mind to the fact he was clearly looking around her and at the Asari dancer who was entertaining a patron already.  
"Unbelievable," she muttered under her breath but he must have overheard as he tossed a datapad that clattered on the table.  
"Touchy today aren't we? Something on your mind Harkin?" His brow furrowed as he considered whether to tell her or not, his hand tracing the rim of the tumbler which obviously contained whiskey. He necked the remaining measure followed by a content sigh.  
"Damn Embassy's on my back, says I don't follow C-Sec Custody procedure, believe that C-Sec should be represented even in your own damn spare time! Fucking joke when a man can't enjoy a drink." Jane chuckled before giving her two-cents.  
"Yes but we all know you like to indulge in a little more than drink, don't we?" "Damn Turians is what it is, still got that stick up their asses from the Relay incident." He scoffed, brushing her off. "Anyway, like I give a fuck, the information you want is in front of you." Jane picked up the datapad and read the information back, she was surprised at his findings. 

________________________________  
CASE FILE #1403  
INVESTIGATOR: Officer Garrus Vakarian

SUSPECT: Nihlus Kryik  
SUSPICION: Possession and Intent to Supply Prohibited Substances 

Suspect has been reported to meet potential clients at the Zakera Cafe, the Asari worker is said to allow this and will often encourage patrons to approach Kryik. Suspect arranges to meet client at a later date and different location - information yet to be obtained ________________________________

Harkin snapped his fingers in front of Jane's face.  
"You still with me?" She looked up with a blank expression.  
"Y-yeah I just, I'm pretty certain this is this Turian I saw last month - at the Zakera Cafe, he was just leaving and Chellick and I were in the way, he said something about having clients to meet. This is the guy!"  
"So, what now? You gonna get photo evidence to build your case?" Harkin took a deep swig of his recently filled glass, unprepared for Jane's prompt response. "No, I'm gonna stage a meet with him." She said confidently. Harkin nearly choked on his whiskey and Jane had to pat at the spatters that had landed on her from his reaction.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, I thought you said you were gonna meet with him... you're not shittin' me are you?"  
"That I am not. Why bother with picture evidence if I can lure him in? Pose as a potential client, find out all of the information and then strike." Jane responded, not understanding what the big deal was.  
"I don't think Chellick would want to approach it that way-" He began. Jane interrupted him with a dismissive wave of the hand.  
"Well what Chellick doesn't know won't hurt him-"  
"Yes but you said you got in the guy's way, surely he'd recognise you?" Harkin stopped her mid sentence.  
"Well if he does, I'll just have to have a smart answer then won't I?" Jane wore a smirk across her face, excitement flowing through her, very similar to the excitement she felt when working alongside Chellick. He would be impressed if she was to bring in a suspect with evidence. Not like Harkin who roughed up the suspects into confession. "Who was the guy originally investigating?" she asked, wondering if the officer had more information than documented.  
"Oh him? Ex-employee, left just before you showed up. Name's Garrus Vakarian. You won't be finding him in a hurry, went dark the minute he left."  
"Oh right, no matter though, this should be enough I reckon." Jane slid the datapad back over to Harkin as she stood to take her leave. He coughed to get her attention.  
"A thank you would much appreciated." Jane sighed and rolled her eyes.  
"What are you having?"  
"How kind of you, I'll have a double vodka with a cube of that jelly stuff the Turians have."  
"I thought you hated Turians?" Jane retorted as she walked over to the bar.  
"I never said I hated their culinary flavours though did I?" he shouted across to her. Jane planted the glass in front of Harkin and left without a goodbye. 

She'd been walking for about ten minutes when her omnitool pinged. 

Harkin [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Bitch  
_You could have said bye. BTW you only had to say thanks, I didn't really want a drink but it was so kind of you to offer ;)_

 _Asshole_ , Jane thought to herself as she marched in the direction of the elevator that would take her to the Zakera Cafe. She would stake out every day of the week if it meant she could gather concrete evidence. There had been a high volume of cases that didn't have enough evidence to convict a suspect and so they were released with minor charges. Jane wasn't gonna let that happen. She planned to record her conversations with this Nihlus and then bring Chellick in on it. She needed this opportunity to prove herself capable seen as all Chellick had done was wrap her in bubble wrap in front of the whole station.

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Bitch  
_Not a word to Chellick about this, if he asks, just say I'm shopping!_

Harkin [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Bitch  
_Not a word about what?_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Bitch  
_Thanks!_

Jane had been so deep in her thoughts that in no time at all, she had reached the cafe. She hadn't even planned her approach to the whole set-up but then, she had a lightbulb moment and walked dejectedly to take a stool at the counter. She stealthily scanned the hall and counted just six people, all of whom were busy eating and drinking. There was a low hum of chatter but otherwise, a completely normal situation, until the Asari waitress walked in and eyed Jane up and down.  
"Can I get you anything?" she asked with a polite smile. Jane looked up with a glum expression and glanced at the menu board.  
"Uhm, just a tea please." The waitress made quick work of the beverage and set it down in front of Jane, quirking her head with curiosity as she poured in some milk to Jane's liking.  
"You okay sweetheart? You look a little down." Jane looked up and shook her head.  
"Honestly? I feel so fed up... I hardly get to do anything fun because my boyfriend won't let me, says the Wards are 'too dangerous' and then when I'm at home, he treats me like a damn plaything..." Jane huffed and played with a sachet of white sugar. The waitress leaned on the counter and closer to Jane.  
"Sounds to me like you need some serious cheering up." Jane gave a breathy chuckle.  
"I'd do anything for a little cheering up right about now." The waitress quirked a brow.  
"Anything?"  
" _Anything_ ," Jane affirmed but her heart then sank as the Asari turned and walked into the kitchen area. 

For the past quarter of an hour, the empty mug that sat on the counter was the most interesting thing in the whole room. Jane was gutted that the Asari hadn't caught on to her hints but then maybe it was because she was a human, or that she wasn't a regular customer, or maybe- Her thoughts were interupted abruptly as someone placed their hand on Jane's shoulder and her eyes immediately snapped to a dark plated Turian with white colony markings. His mandibles flexed into a wide but brief smile.  
"I hear you need a little sprinkling of magic in your life," he was such a handsome Turian and his voice was young, Jane could barely sense his subharmonics.  
"You heard correctly," she answered as the Turian offered her his arm, which she took albeit a little apprehensively.  
"Then allow me to take you somewhere a little more scenic and you can tell me all about it." He purred as he lead her away.

**Presidium Gardens, 2nd December 2176**

It was a complete understatement to say that Jane was surprised when the Turian hailed a skycar and set the destination as the Presidium Gardens. It certainly didn't seem the type of environment that would suit a drug supplier. He lead Jane towards the glittering fresh water lake that was lined with blooming trees, the gentle, artificial breeze was blowing and the grass was soft beneath their feet as they sat at a secluded bench. Jane hid her hands behind her back and fiddled with her omnitool, it began recording.  
"How terribly rude of me, my name is Nihlus," he extended a three-fingered hand and Jane took it.  
"Jane," his hand held onto her's slightly longer than she felt comfortable with. "You were in the elevator with the C-Sec officer last month." He said, having recognized her the moment he saw her. "Y-you remember me?" Jane stuttered as her facade dropped slightly. Nihlus hummed in agreement.  
"I can understand why you would need my services. I've no doubt life with a screw can be... tiresome, am I right? All those... rules and regulations." A sigh of relief escaped Jane's lips and her shoulders relaxed.  
"I can't even begin to tell you, it's like stepping out of the front door is a danger, being alone is a danger. I just want to relax. Is that too much to ask for?" She looked him in the eyes to appear sincere and he offered her a smile, leaning closer. "Not when I'm around however, I've been having some difficulties obtaining my stock, I hope you don't mind but all I have to offer right now are my contact details." He proposed, hoping she'd accept his offer.  
"I don't mind at all, you can take mine too so you can get in touch with me rather than risking the other way around." She offered in return. It was after they'd fiddled with their omnitools for a few moments that Nihlus stopped and went slack mandibled.  
"I-Is something wrong?" Jane stuttered but nothing could prepare her for the answer.  
"I know you. The exact same details are already stored in my contacts. Commander Jane Shepard." Jane's heart was pounding, the whole ruse was falling apart and she was probably going to pay. _How could he know her already?!_  
"I was a Spectre during your service to the Alliance - Spectre Nihlus Kryik, I was stationed on your ship, the SSV Normandy." He explained patiently. A silence fell upon them but Jane decided to be the one to break it.  
"I don't understand Nihlus, what went wrong?"  
"I could ask you the same question Jane." He sighed and pulled his mandibles tight against his face, clearly this was a story he didn't enjoy telling.  
"I failed a mission. I was supposed to evacuate the colony planet Eden Prime after it was attacked by Geth, then carry out a search and rescue for some missing agents. One of the agents had survived the attack but she was adamant to continue her defence. I let her do it and ultimately, let her die." Jane was astounded.  
"They revoked your status because she tried to be a hero? She was outnumbered, why would she do that?!" "I had my status revoked and it gained me a lot of grief so I retired from service. Don't even ask how I got into the Red Sand business, it just happened and it works for me."  
"You know you're wanted by C-Sec and they're investigating you?" Jane questioned, hoping he hadn't been completelly oblivious to the fact. There was something about him that she liked. Nihkus turned to face Jane with an amused expression.  
"And how would you know that? Your C-Sec boyfriend?" Jane slapped his arm and chuckled.  
"Okay fine, yes, he does tell me about some cases, including yours."  
"You see Jane, from where I was standing, you both looked pretty happy in that elevator. You don't need the Red Sand do you Jane?" He asks in the same mildly accusing tone that parents use when they know their child is lying. She shook her head and refused to meet his gaze but when he laughed, she couldn't help but look confused.  
"My, my, my, you are an efficient one. I'll let you off this once with a caution." Nihlus says in warning though his voice is laced with amusement.  
"I'm the one with the omni-cuffs Nihlus Kryik!" Jane joked, but also didn't want to let him undermine her authority with his charm.  
"So what are you going to do with all of that evidence on your omnitool? I know you're recording so don't deny it." His eyes meet hers with a raised brow plate. "I... I don't want to snitch on you Nihlus but... it's dangerous, not just for you but those who take it-" She began, starting to feel as if she were treading on dangerous ground. He shook his head as if to dismiss her concerns.  
"Jane, I monitor everything. No-one gets more than they can handle. What if I gave you a list of contacts? I have a few people working for me, they don't exactly follow my rules."  
"How so?" Now her curiosity was piqued. "Let's just say they rough people up when there's no need to." He admitted, clearly frustrated with the situation.  
"Pffft, sounds like someone I know," Jane muttered, casting her thoughts back to Harkin.  
"I give you the list of names, you let me go but keep my details, we could be a good team, you and I." Nihlus smiled and offered his hand to bind their deal. Jane took his hand with a nod and a smile.  
"Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z4lfljtOLxY


	4. Warrant to Arrest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Chellick's relationship is developing into something much deeper than they expected but Jane's friendship with Nihlus is also developing in dangerous territory.
> 
> This chapter contains explicit sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you topsypervy for being my awesome online friend and editing my work! Thank you for the continued support, I really really appreciate it!  
> the next few chapters will see a new character introduced and the coming of a new pairing!  
> Link to the featured song will be in the bottom notes. I'm available to contact at:  
> kittie.valentine@yahoo.com  
> I also joined Discord and need a friend to make sure I set it up right! Kittie Valentine #1441

__

_'All the trouble that it brings, trouble that it brings'_

**Bachjret Ward, 17th March 2177 ******

********

Since Jane's impromtu meeting with Nihlus, she'd used the contacts he provided to drip feed onto the C-Sec database as way of showing activity on the investigation as a whole. She would take a name and spend a little time gathering some research and evidence before obtaining a warrant for the arrest. It certainly kept Chellick and the station in good graces but more importantly it kept Nihlus hidden from the eyes of the Law. Over the past three months, Jane had messaged him on a weekly basis to check how he was and to let him know if any of his contacts had been taken into custody. Though amongst the silver linings, there was a dark cloud looming, one that reminded her that no matter how long she dragged out the investigation, C-Sec would eventually track down Nihlus. Sooner if the Embassy didn't take action against Harkin for his 'methods of persuasion' with those in custody. 

It was almost midnight and Jane was fast asleep, the only sound in the apartment being the whooshing of skycars as they sped to their destinations and her gentle breathing. Chellick on the other hand needed less sleep and so lay beside her, watching as her chest rose and fell, the way the light was cast against her soft features as it filtered through the shutters. He lasted almost an hour, just basking in her softness before temptation got the better of him and he brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek. She stirred with a smile touching the edges of her mouth and her eyes slowly opened, meeting his with a love Decian took like a drug.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he apologised, his voice hushed in reverence of her sleepy state.  
"It's okay," Jane smiled, stroking his bare arm with her thumb. He took her hand and guided it to the back of his neck where she proceeded to stroke the hide beneath his fringe before pulling him down for a sweet kiss. Chellick responded with a little more fervour by moving his hand to her breast, gently kneading the soft flesh and causing her to moan against his mouth, begging for more. He obliged, pulling out of their kiss and tugging at the hem of her shirt to lift it off, revealing inch after inch of that beautiful, creamy skin. Jane arched her back, pushing her breasts into his hands, yearning for more.  
"Decian, please..." she pleaded weakly, need clear in her voice.  
"How could I resist?" He purred as his head lowered to her breast, capturing a nipple in his mouth plates and earning him a moan from Jane. He trailed his rough tongue around her nipple slowly, and bit down softly with sharp teeth. His emerald eyes boring into her like a laser as his hand travelled quickly down her body, mapping her most sensitive spots until he reached her thighs and spread them, pushing her underwear to the side.

"Please" she begged again, arching her body so his fingers were closer to her wet sex. Chellick didn't hesitate to plunge his long fingers inside her, especially when it made her cry out like this.  
"Does that feel good Jane?" Chellick asks, pulling his fingers out of her entrance and plunging them back in again.  
"You're so wet," he groans as his pace quickens, his fingers hitting Jane's spot with each thrust.  
"So wet for me."  
"Please, no not yet. I'm... I'm going to..." Jane panted, moving her hips in time with Chellick's fingers. His pace quickened once again and not soon after he feels the familiar tightening of her walls. He leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss, swallowing her cries of pleasure as she came. Pulling away, Chellick removed his fingers from inside her and licked them clean.  
"How do you feel?" Jane stared at him breathlessly, chest heaving with a both sleepy and content expression on her face.  
"I want you Decian," she breathes and without prompt, Chellick climbed over her, like a predator about to devour it's prey. He usually slept naked and was already out of his plates, his ribbed cock, glistening with lubricant as he positioned it at her entrance. He wrapped her legs around his waist, resting them on his hip spurs before pushing inside her in one stroke, both moaning at the friction as Chellick slowly began to move inside her. 

"Faster Decian, please..." Jane gasped, trying to move her hips more frantically but Chellick held them down, his hands wrapping around her entire back.  
"I want to savour this," he whispered in her ear, still thrusting gently. As she began to groan more often, Decian moved his face to her neck and toyed his teeth along the skin. He continued to move slowly, feeling every little contraction of her muscles, his cock hitting her most sensitive spot with each slow thrust. Jane could feel the knot from their love tying up between her legs, shivers running down her spine from his teeth against her skin. The pleasant ripples running through her frame were intense and before long, she felt herself let go and Chellick felt it too, every clench on his cock, every moan that escaped her lips. He continued to move slowly, until she had come down from her high and when that moment came, he thrust into her with everything he had.

Jane cried out at the sudden change of tempo as Chellick thrust into her, his pace something she'd never felt before. Her legs were locked around his back, pulling him further into her. He thrusts hard a few more times before bringing them both over the edge and collapsing on top of her, his teeth catching the delicate skin of her neck tightly but not breaking the skin. They stayed like that for a few moments until they got their breaths back, Chellick stroking her neck with a finger and breathing in her scent deeply. 

"What's wrong?" she asked him, noticing how doting he is of her neck.  
"Nothing," he whispered, his gaze never leaving the area of skin his attention is focused on. Jane watched him but Chellick remained slightly stoic about her question.  
"I want to bond with you Jane," he stated, his overwhelming desire to connect with her in a deeper way overcoming his reservations.  
Bond?" she repeats, and Chellick nods shyly.  
What does that mean?" Her second question followed by a tense moment of silence and Jane began to worry that her lack of knowledge regarding his traditions had ruined the moment but Chellick quickly put those fears to rest.  
"Bonding is natural. I feel a natural urge to bond with you. Everytime we have sex, I just want to bond with you. I prolong it to scent you more. So everyone or at least - every Turian knows you're mine. Everytime I see you, I just want to take you. To bond." His sentences are spoken way too quickly under his nervousness, making his ragged breaths sound carnal.  
"So bonding means what exactly?" Jane asked, still none the wiser.  
"To mark you, to leave my mark upon your skin. Although the reason we Turians mark the neck is because it is a sign of submission. You submitting to me. The male marking the female as his." It all sounded primal and instinct based and Jane still didn't understand, the expression on her face testament to that fact.  
"So what, bonding means you just... bite me on the neck?" Jane asked simply and Chellick cannot help but chuckle at her naivety.  
"No, not quite. Bonding is like marriage for us. It ties us together and divorce is only granted under extreme circumstances," he explains. Jane took a moment to process the information before it dawned on her suddenly.  
"Wait... you're proposing to me?" Jane blurted out, her voice laced with surprise. Chellick nodded.  
"Wow, I... I wasn't expecting that... I-" she began, feeling her heart swell with love for him but being shocked as well.  
"You don't have to answer me now, or in a day, or a week or even in a decade. I just want you to know, I'm yours, I only feel this for you and I would never do it without your consent." He placed his forehead against hers and rumbled with pride and love. Jane had to admit, she was slightly overwhelmed by the night's events, just as she had been when he asked her to move in with him but part of it tugged at her heart strings all the same.

"I have no family so finding an audience that would accept our request to bond would be easy enough," he adds thoughtfully.  
"An audience? In human tradition, we do have to have a witness or witnesses to the marriage, is it like that?" Jane perked up thinking she understood the Turian tradition but apparently she was wrong as Chellick supressed a second chuckle.  
"Not quite, in Turian tradition, the audience takes a vote. They either condone the pairing or not." Jane felt slightly saddened and awkward knowing that the opinion of others decided whether or not they could marry but also by the fact that was so damn formal.  
"It wouldn't matter if they didn't, the vote is only to make it official. I can still bond with you like this and it would still mean the same," he gave her neck a slight nip and pulled her to lie on his chest.  
"So what's the point of the witnesses if it means the same?" She asked, still confused by the whole thing.  
"The point is Jane, that you would be able to bear my surname." Chellick replied lovingly, his voice laced with the tiniest amount of exhasperation at their cultures being so different and requiring so much explaining.

Jane smiled to herself as she replayed the conversation in her head. _Jane Chellick_. It was like her idea of the perfect life but then there was always one thing scuppering that. Her mother would never condone it even if her life depended on it. Jane's mother had a strict 'no interspecies relationships' policy and Jane was well aware of the consequences should she find out about Chellick - and she was bound to. It created quite the internal conflict but then again, the last time Jane had spoken to her mother, she was headed to Akuze, a prospective human colony on the outskirts of Systems Alliance space and that was two years ago.

Chellick made Jane happy and if she decided that she wanted the bonding, then not even her mother's 'First Contact' attitude could stop that. She was perfectly happy in the arms of the now sleeping Turian. But casting back into her memory, as a young girl, Jane always missed having her mother around. She left for the Alliance military when Jane was just 10 years old and left her in the part-time care of an old friend - Admiral David Anderson. It was because of him that she earned her N7 badge and became such a powerful figure out in the field but after she returned from her service, fate seemed to lead her to the comfortable life, with a boyfriend, an apartment and a possible marriage.

**Bachjret Ward, 18th March 2177**

The apartment was flooded with artificial morning light that swirled and fluttered in the steam from the kettle. Jane's omnitool pinged as she was sat at the kitchen counter drinking her morning tea whilst Chellick was busy pruning himself in the bathroom. Jane clambered from the stool and lazily went to check the notification. It was Nihlus.

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: No Subject  
_Fancy breakfast? It's on me :)[_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: No Subject  
_Let me speak to Decian first, it's his day off!_

Jane hadn't heard Chellick come out of the bathroom. The only thing that alerted her to his presence was the sudden raised voice and subsequent growling. At first, her heart had ceased beating having thought he had seen her messages to Nihlus but when she turned to find him in the kitchen, he was deep in a call with someone who was obviously trying his patience. Chellick ended the call with a deep, regretful sigh.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked, hurrying to wrap her arms around his slim waist. He sighed once more into her hair before answering.  
"Executor Pallin has informed me that the Council have growing concerns over the lack of direct action taken regarding the industry of Red Sand." Jane paused for thought.  
"So what does he expect you to do? We've arrested over eleven people directly involved!" Chellick pressed a firm kiss to her lips.  
"I'm so sorry but I need to go to the station, we need to target Kryik, he's the main perpetrator on the Citadel and none of his accomplices are providing any information."  
"How can the Executor expect you to do more than you already are? There are forty-nine other stations who could be helping!" Jane pointed out exasperatedly. Chellick rubbed his three fingered hands up and down her arms in a soothing fashion, finally bringing them to cup her face. He leaned down and kissed her deeply once more before arranging for a skycar to pick him up.  
"I promise I'll be as quick as I can but I need to relay the situation to the rest of the station, what are you going to do while I'm gone?" Jane contemplated not telling Chellick about going for breakfast with her friend but if he found out she had lied... She decided not to risk it what with his possessiveness increasing over the past few weeks along with his newfound desire to bond.

"Well, my friend Mactis has invited me to breakfast actually. I was going to decline seen as it was your day off but now that you're busy, I suppose I can go," Jane seemed satisfied with the alias she'd given Nihlus but Chellick's mandibles still flicked irritably.  
"Mactis?" He questioned with a hint of jealousy.  
"Yeah, he was an associate during my time with the Alliance military. He spent some time aboard my ship conducting an evaluation on my suitability for N7 rank," Jane explained. At least that was truthful and Chellick decided to believe that he had nothing to worry about.  
"Well, maybe we could all meet sometime? I would love to know more about your time in the military from another's perspective. Please enjoy yourself, I'm so sorry about this," Chellick smiled shyly as he left the apartment, leaving Jane with a tight knot in her stomach. He was so sweet worrying about the fact he'd been called to work when Jane was the one in contact with their main suspect.

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: No Subject  
_Your offer still stand on breakfast? Decian has been called to work so I'm free for a while :)_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: No Subject  
_Of course it does and even if I was busy, you can command my attention anytime ;)[ ___

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: No Subject  
_You're all heart Nihlus, where should I meet you?_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: No Subject  
_Why don't we say the Zakera Cafe? We could have a quick drink there and then I can take you somewhere nicer_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: No Subject  
_Deal, I'll be about half an hour, still need to get dressed x_

**Zakera Ward, 18th March 2177**

When Jane reached the cafe, it had only just opened and she spotted one Turian sat tending a cup of Kava and Nihlus sat at the counter with a mug full of tea. Jane sat next to him and nodded to the mug.  
"Did you develop lips overnight?" she jested, poking her elbow in his waist which made him almost jump from his seat.  
"Well, there was me thinking I'd be the gentleman and buy you a drink," he replied.  
"Thank you Nihlus," Jane smiled and she failed to notice the other Turian look up from his Kava.  
"So, Chellick left you for work this morning?" He questioned curiously, wondering what could have been so important they called him in on his day off. Jane signed mournfully.  
"He did. It's your fault you know?"  
"Jane! How could you accuse me of such a thing?!" Nihlus held a hand to his chest in mock hurt.  
"The Council want you found, they had Executor Pallin contact Decian this morning about it." She explained, sipping on the tea he'd ordered for her.  
"That puts you in quite a predicament. Especially considering you work under his command," Nihlus stated. Jane shook her head.  
"It's not just that Nihlus. I love him, we work together, live together. He even asked me to-" Jane bit her tongue before letting the cat amongst the pigeons. Human-Turian relationships were still murky waters and she didn't know how Nihlus would react to Chellick wanting to carry out Turian tradition.  
"Jane? What did he ask of you?" Nihlus' subharmonics were extremely audible, he was concerned. Jane swallowed a lump in her throat before meeting his gaze.  
"He asked me to bond with him." Nihlus raised his browplate, mandibles tight against his face as he digested what Jane had just told him.  
"Say something Nihlus," Jane begged.  
"What he's asking of you is no small matter," he said plainly.  
"I know, he explained it to me and I'm not scared of that, I just, don't know if I'm ready or not. I mean, I love him and I would love to bond with him but... I don't know what it is. something keeps telling me that I can't just yet..." Jane fiddles with her fingers as a moment of silence settles between them.  
"I know what it is. You blame yourself for all of the pressure on his shoulders. You feel bad that you are sat here with me, that you had an entire list of my contacts in exchange for my freedom. You don't think you're good enough Jane." Nihlus lifted her chin with his fingers.  
"You cannot blame yourself for having a heart Jane. I'm sure he would do the very same if you fell onto the wrong path." Jane nodded in partial agreement. Nihlus was right and she had done more good for the station than harm. She'd brought in over eleven suspects and convicted them. If Chellick had convicted just Nihlus, the rest of the organization would scatter then set up elsewhere.

"Now, I didn't invite you to breakfast to get upset with yourself. Allow me to take you to the Presidium for some fine food." Nihlus offered his arm and walked Jane out of the cafe just as he had the day she posed as a potential client. The elevator doors closed behind them and that's when the male Turian that had been there with the cup of Kava accessed his omnitool and made a call.

"Detective Chellick," came the answering voice.  
"Sir, just had visual of suspect Nihlus Kryik in the company of a human female at the Zakera Cafe. Suspect mentioned dining at the Presidium. Left moments ago, permission to intercept?"  
"Denied. I will intercept myself. Chellick out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EHz9qkH5xr8


	5. Warrant to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chellick moves to intercept Nihlus but in a bid to protect him, Jane becomes more tangled in lies and Chellick acts imstinctively.
> 
> This chapter contains explicit sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the comments and Kudos! Notes are short today because I've been ill and my mind just can't comprehend anything right now, my next update may be a little later if I don't get better soon!  
> Link to the featured song will be in the bottom notes and the lyrics can be applied to either Chellick or Nihlus :)

_'Something so simple, something so trivial, makes me  
a happy man, can't you understand?'_

**Presidium Tower, 18th March 2177**

 

Jane had remained silent throughout their journey to the Presidium, opting to run over the idea of bonding with Chellick and trying to contact her mother to tell her. Or wait, it should be the other way around-  
"Jane?" Nihlus broke her from her thoughts as they arrived at their destination. It was a secluded level on the Presidium where Councillors, Executors, Spectres and the like could reside away from the bustle of busy Citadel life. They had crossed an impressive bridge that was set above one of the many fresh water lakes and were headed towards what looked like a Turian patisserie. Jane collided with Nihlus' muscular back as she lost herself to her thoughts once more.  
"You up for some Dextro-Levo breakfast?" Nihlus asked at an excited pitch. Jane nodded and smiled.  
"You know me, I never say no to anything."  
"There's a table just over there, you grab it and let me surprise you," he threw her a wink as he went to enter, opening the door for her.  
"You trying to woo me with your uhm... 'romantic skills'?" Jane used air quotes to emphasise her words as she headed towards the table and Nihlus shook his head. He returned a few moments later and sat down opposite Jane.

"A waiter will be out with the food shortly," he explained. Jane continued to stare out over the lakes, only nodding to show her listening. Something was on her mind and the criminal Turian notices it. He gently gripped the wrist of the hand Jane was resting her chin on and she looked up to him.  
"What's bothering you? Are my romantic skills worse than I thought?" He asks, seeming worried. Jane giggled at that but shook her head as seriousness replaced the humour.  
"No I... I'm worried about you." Nihlus jerked back as if she'd hit him and Jane took his hands in her's and leaned forward.  
"Sooner or later, C-Sec are going to find you... and I'm scared. I've tried my best to keep them from you, to stall the investigation because I know you, you're a good man... but-"  
"Jane listen to me," Nihlus cut her off confidently in that comforting rumble of a voice.  
"If C-Sec arrest me, then so be it. I will provide them with all the information they want and I will even plead guilty. They should apply leniency for my plea. Jane, you've been juggling two very different pins but the fact you've done this for me and that you're sat here right now, it means the world to me. Thank y-"

A stern and very practised voice boomed from behind them and Jane's eyes widen when she recognises the face it belongs to.  
"Nihlus Kryik. C-Sec, put your hands above your head."  
"Chellick?!" Jane cried out as Nihlus complied with a soft smile on his mandibles. Chellick glares at her with emerald eyes that communicate the hurt he feels at her presence.  
"I am arresting you on suspicion of supplying prohibited substances," he continued, pulling Nihlus to his feet, weapon drawn.  
"Chellick stop!" Jane cried frantically.  
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say, can and will be used against you in the C-Sec court of law." Tears washed down Jane's cheeks as she ran to grip Chellick's wrist which was busy activating the omnicuffs onto Nihlus' wrists.  
"Ma'am, I have to ask you to step aside," was Chellick's response and it felt like a kick in the teeth to Jane.  
"Jane, it's okay," Nihlus whispered. Chellick froze on the spot, gaze flicking between the two as the penny finally dropped.  
"So this is 'Mactis'? How much of what you told me was true Jane?" She suddenly found the floor extremely interesting under his intimidating growl. "All of it except his name..."  
"What the hell is going on?! He's a criminal! ... Are you two...?" Chellick accused, his eyes narrowing at her.  
"Decian no! He helped us! He kept the damn Council off the station's back!" Jane raised her voice in hers and Nihlus' defense.  
"What do you mean _he_ helped us?" He asked incredulously. Jane's shoulders dropped in defeat as she realised that now was the time to confess.  
"Nihlus was the one who gave me the list of names... I tried to stall the investigation by lingering on his contacts..."  
"You were in collaboration with a suspect?!" Chellick cried out exasperatedly.  
"He worked with me during my time in the Alliance Military! He's a good man Decian!" Jane tried to explain.  
"He supplies Red Sand to disadvantaged citizens!" Chellick argued, his frustration showing through the display of teeth.  
"He gave me that list of names to help us, I let him go because he helped your station! You arrest him and all of those people walk free." She said in a gentler tone, hoping to reason with him. Chellick's brow plate furrowed.  
"You've been in contact with him all this time?"  
"The day Harkin called me in-" She began, only to be quickly cut short.  
"Harkin knew about this?! What is it with you damn humans and bending rules and regulations?!" Chellick interjected with deep annoyance. His disapproval was making her feel smaller by the second and she felt hesitant to respond.  
"I told him not to say anything! I wanted to..."  
"Wanted to what?" Chellick urged her to continue.  
"I wanted to impress you! I wanted us to have a good record of investigations... The entire process from the suspicion, to the gathering of evidence, the arrest and finally the conviction... It was all down to Nihlus..." Chellick turned to glare at the offending Turian but his face was tilted back by a soft human hand before she continued.  
"Decian listen to me. Nihlus is more use to us outside of a C-Sec cell. He can work with us! We can take out the entire operation with his help. Arresting him is a waste of resources that would he spent monitoring the people he could just tell us about." Jane's heart was pounding so hard she felt woozy and unsteady on her feet.  
"He is still a criminal Jane," Chellick continued to stand his ground and Jane can feel a metaphoric wedge being driven between them.  
"He was a Spectre, they would take that into account during the trial," Jane tried again to change her lover's mind. Chellick shook his head.  
"I'm sorry Jane, I have to..." He began to lead Nihlus away but one last idea came to Jane's mind.  
"Nihlus, just tell him the truth!" She called out. Both Turians turned to face the distraught woman with expressions of bewilderment across their faces.  
"Tell him what exactly?" Nihlus chuckled. Jane sighed and hoped that the Spirits would be with her.  
"Nihlus isn't really who he says he is," she begins. Chellick walks towards her, hand still gripped on Nihlus' wrists.  
"He's an informant. He infiltrated their ranks and began recording all of those involved." She lied, hoping beyond hope he'd believe her. 

Chellick's expression lessened as if he was accepting her words and she continued.  
"When his Spectre status was revoked, he felt like he had lost the right to help people. This was his way of continuing his work and he has helped so many people Decian, can't you see? Nihlus isn't the person we should be after."  
"Who should we be after then Kryik?" Chellick tested the Turian and Jane crossed her fingers, hoping he would go along with her story.  
"I haven't been granted an audience with the president of the organisation as of yet Officer Chellick." Nihlus winked at Jane and tears filled her eyes at the stress she was enduring for a friend she hadn't seen in years.  
"This will either continue to benefit the station or be the death of me..." Chellick growled as he deactivated the omnicuffs.  
"I would highly recommend you remain out of my way for the time being and Jane is also off limits until further notice, is that understood?" Chellick's voice is a growl and it set Jane's stomach on fire with a burning sense of need.  
"Affirmative," nods Nihlus, he looked to Jane and mimed the words thank you to which she smiled in return. 

Chellick waited for Nihlus to leave the area before turning to Jane like a predator studying it's prey, his gaze burning a hole in her skin. Jane opened her mouth to speak but Chellick was quicker and grabbed her, pulling her towards the Rapid Transport Shuttles. They stood in silence mainly because Jane didn't dare to speak with him in this state of mind. It was a few moments that felt like an eternity before a shuttle came to a halt and Chellick forcefully opened the door.  
"Get in," he growled, watching intently as Jane complied. When the shuttle arrived back at the Zakera Ward, Chellick stood to leave.  
"Where are you going?" Jane asked with a panicked tone.  
"I have a few things to do. Go home Jane," he says in a flat tone before walking out of the station. It left Jane's heart pounding in her chest so hard she thought it would leap out. Her head was swimming and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and disappear. 

 

**Bachjret Ward, 18th March 2177**

 

Jane sighed exhaustedly as she made her way down the hall to their apartment, silently hoping that Chellick wouldn't be too long but also that he would use the time to calm down. The events of the morning had left her tense and delicate so she stripped out of her attire and made her way to the bathroom, turning on the hot water of the shower. She really hoped Decian was okay; the knowledge that she had been lying for so long was weighing heavily on her shoulders now that it was in the open. She knew she had crossed a line but Nihlus was right, Chellick would have done the same if it was her in the wrong but now she had fallen even deeper into the lie by claiming Nihlus to be an informant. The hot water rained onto her body, droplets pattering about the tiles as it bounced from her skin. She closed her eyes and leaned her head forwards against the wall letting the tension drain away and the steam to envelop her in a humid blanket. 

Jane was blissfully unaware of the surrounding world until the bathroom door slammed open; all she managed was a squeal before a very irritated Turian pinned her against the tile with a wet thud. She knew it was Chellick immediately by his growl and let out a gasp as he pushed his body against her's almost to the point it was painful, the hot water ran down her face causing it to flush red and tingle.  
"Was he ever more than friend?" He hissed in her ear.  
"No! I would never-!" She began, stifling a yelp as he cut her off sharply with a low rumble of his voice.  
"Swear it! Say that you're mine." Chellick growled against the delicate flesh of her throat.  
"I'm yours," Jane whispered. Chellick released her and left without another word, the door hissing shut and the only sound being the running water and Jane's laboured breaths.

 

The hours had ticked away and Jane was dressed in her robe, the adrenaline that had flown through her body left her feeling hot and tingling. Chellick had never behaved like that before and he'd already ascertained that Jane and Nihlus weren't romantically involved, which was a preposterous concept anyway but it confused Jane that he returned to the apartment to repeat the question only to leave just as frustrated. Her question would inevitably be answered as the door hissed open to reveal Chellick once more.

Jane stood to greet him but before she could speak, he lifted her over his shoulder and carried her to their bedroom, where he unceremoniously dumped her onto the bed. He was being uncharacteristically rough.  
“Strip," he uttered through a growl, watching her with an unwavering stare. Jane didn't know whether to be frightened or aroused but her stomach was doing somersaults either way. The second she was naked, Chellick grabbed her ankle and flipped her over onto all fours, pulling her back so her ass was high in the air. There was no hesitation before Jane could feel his hands gripping the soft flesh of her cheeks, talons grazing and leaving white trails of torn skin where they had caught. Chellick couldn't suppress the deep growl emanating within his chest as he let his hands knead her ass. He removed a hand and brought it back down with a crack to which Jane whimpered in surprise at the sudden pain but then there was nothing.

A few moments passed before she felt Chellick's hot breath against her folds as well as his talons finding purchase in her lower back. The prickling pain caused her to whimper again as his talons stimulated the sensitive skin, burying deep within. He inhaled deeply and began to purr before he gently ran his hands down her ass and over her slit that was becoming moist and hot from his ministrations. He let temptation claim him and swiped his long, rough tongue over her bud of nerves, earning him a delicious gasp. He pushed his tongue deep inside, causing her to buck her hips for more contact but he restrained that need and held her tightly in place as he fucked her with his mouth. Needless to say, it didn't take long for Jane's pleasure to peak, sending her body shaking in euphoria as it rippled through her limbs.

Jane collapsed on the bed, her hands still gripping the damp sheets beneath her. She was given little in the way of recovery time when he gripped her hair painfully tight and she felt her body being hoisted back up onto her knees. She was about to protest when Chellick's long, ribbed cock was forced inside her with one swift thrust, his hands pulling her ass flush against his plates. He set a furious pace, Jane attempting to meet each thrust, moaning wantonly and arching her back as he reached deep inside her. Without warning, he pulled away and flipped her over, positioning himself back between her legs but not before wrapping an arm tightly around the small of her back.  
"Decian-" she managed breathlessly but was cut off by him rolling over so she was straddling him. He took her arms and wrapped them around his neck and pulled her to rest her head against his shoulder as he guided her hips to ride him. Jane tried to stifle a moan as Chellick's talons grazed down her back, piercing the skin like a pin to a peach, the blood collecting at his fingertips. The atmosphere in the room was electric and the unknowing of what was driving Chellick to act this was enticing Jane to see it through and before long, she quickly picked up her pace, spurred on by her desperation to ride him faster and harder.  
Chellick growled, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against his body, his mouth toying dangerously at her neck. He pulled Jane's hips down hard and it was enough to tip them both over the edge they had been riding for the past hour almost. His teeth clamped down on her neck and Jane shuddered as he came inside her, his hot, thick fluid filling her much more than normal. She collapsed on his chest, her lungs screaming for breath. An ache was settling in her stomach from the intensity of her orgasm and words failed to form at the tip of her tongue. After regaining control of her breath, Jane found the courage to lift her head and look up at Chellick who was now purring rather affectionately. 

"Decian?" She whispered, to which he cocked his head in acknowledgement.  
"I'm sorry... if I hurt you... let me see to that," he shifted himself from beneath her and disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a pack of medigel, tearing it open with teeth that had just marked her body.  
"I... I don't know what came over me... I wasn't... I wasn't thinking straight at all..." Chellick was shaking and his voice wavered under his emotion.  
"Decian, I love you... I'm sorry for lying to you, I-" She tried to interrupt.  
"I just marked you as mine, Jane... without your consent... I..." He couldn't finish his sentence, the shame that had shrouded him was unbearable. Jane placed a hand to his face.  
"I was going to consent Decian," she said with a weak smile. Chellick's eyes widened.  
"What?"  
"I was going to consent, I just... needed to figure out my mother, that's all. You've done nothing wrong. It's me who's in the wrong-" The words just tumbled out of her mouth, needing his forgiveness.  
"Jane, I don't care about Kryik, if what you say is correct then he is of no concern to C-Sec, I... I felt threatened by him and acted on instinct and I'm sorry." At those words Jane felt the worldly weight settle back on her shoulders. What she said wasn't true, Nihlus was involved in criminal activity and she had inadvertently forced his predatory hand.

"Decian, I don't care that you bonded with me, I wanted you to, I just need to speak to my mother about it, let's just say she's... 'old fashioned' in her opinion of your kind," Jane rolled her eyes at the thought of being so narrow minded.  
"Sounds like someone I know," Chellick quipped. He gripped Jane's chin with a thumb and index finger, lifting her gaze to meet his.  
"Hey, we make a good team you and I," he pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her tight against his chest, gently tugging the partially shredded covers over their tangled bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vamnlQ45P7E


	6. A Past Shaping the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane is beginning to realise that her heart lies in too many places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little late with my update, university work took over quite a bit! 
> 
> Here it is with plenty more to come! Link to the featured song will be in the bottom notes.  
> I'm available to contact via email: kittie.valentine@yahoo.com I am on Discord although apparently I'm hard to find? Don't know!  
> Kittie Valentine #1441

_I pretend that I don't notice  
but I know down deep inside,  
that I want a love like that_

**Bachjret Ward, 30th March 2177**

Jane had begun to lose count of how many days she and Chellick had been cooped up in their apartment. The atmosphere was starting to become stifling and it was bordering unbearable. The day after Chellick had bonded with Jane and marked her as his, he had insisted they stay inside to 'enjoy their company' and new bond. Jane assumed it was similar to how humans would throw an engagement party but she was completely unaware that his 'condition' would worsen before improving. At first, it was fun and no surface in the apartment survived their love making but then it slowly developed into something much rougher. Teeth, talons, being pinned against the nearest surface, breath constricted, release denied. It had become an exhausting and almost torturous experience each time but the second he granted her that release, Jane's entire world had rocked... and so had any furniture that wasn't nailed down for that matter. It had gotten to the point that Jane was concerned for the wellbeing of both of them. She was exhausted, not that that quenched Chellick's almighty thirst to consume her and he wasn't in a much better state either. Since the incident at the Presidium, Jane had refrained from contacting Nihlus but this warranted it so when she had a spare moment, she picked up her omnitool and desperately messaged him.

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Help?  
_Nihlus, I don't understand what's wrong with Chellick. We've been in the apartment for weeks now and he won't let us leave_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Help?  
_I may possibly know what is causing this behaviour... Please excuse me but is he a little more, how can I say this? - Insatiable?_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Help?  
_Uhm, I think a little is an understatement... I'm exhausted Nihlus. What's wrong with him? Does he need help?_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Help?  
_Of course not, he is behaving like any male Turian would_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Help?  
_What do you mean?_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Help?  
_We males get a little... needy after bonding. Call it our predatory urge to reproduce. Nothing to be concerned about it's completely normal_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Help?  
_What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I'm exhausted!_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Help?  
_It may seem a little unorthodox but maybe if you made yourself a nest it would convince him you are with child and his hormones should suppress._

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Help?  
_Okay, I suppose I can do that.... what's a nest exactly?_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Help?  
_It derives from our predatory genes, just gather yourself soft things, bedding and sit yourself on it_

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Help?  
_Thank you so much Nihlus_

Nihlus Kryik [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Help?  
_And for what it's worth, I think you would make a wonderful mother :)[_

Jane couldn't help the smile that touched at the corner of her lips but when she heard a growl from Chellick, she dropped her omnitool and made for the bedroom. She made quick work of gathering the huge, hollow-fibre cushions and setting them in the corner of the room beside the bed and throwing the duvet over them. Chellick was stood, leaning on the doorframe with a curious expression on his face, his head tilted like a bird listening for a worm. Jane grabbed the under sheet and wrapped herself in it before curling up on her surprisingly accurate attempt at a nest. As she settled, she couldn't help but think of how cosy her cabin was on the Normandy, how much she enjoyed sharing that huge bed with-  
"Jane?" whispered Chellick. She glanced up to find him leaning over her, almost waiting for permission to join her.  
She scooted over and watched as he pulled the sheets tighter around her body like a protective membrane before laying beside her nuzzling his face at the nape of her neck. There was a strained silence as Jane felt Chellick inhaling heavily against her skin, scenting her before speaking in a shaky whisper.  
"You aren't with child..." there was a pang of guilt that shot through to Jane's core as she listened to the words leave her mate. Her eyes were hot and on the verge of spilling into salty streams down her cheeks. For such a fortuitous moment, Jane felt overwhelmed with sadness at the fact she wasn't with child. Her hand cupped his mandible which he instinctually leaned into, purring deeply.  
"I'm sorry..." Jane whispered gently to him. She watched as he closed his eyes almost with grief.  
"It's so hard for some of us..." he began, swallowing a metaphoric ice cube lodged in his gullet.  
"I never thought I'd be so in love... let alone find a mate... most Turians take formulas to suppress their hormones..." Jane shushed him and adjusted so he could rest his head against her soft chest, her fingers stroking his fringe in the way a Turian mother would to an upset child.  
"I'm so sorry Decian... you were running yourself into the ground... and Executor Pallin gave me an earful-" Chellick cut her off.  
"Pallin will understand. He-" he stopped mid-sentence as his fingers ghosted over her abdomen, the breath he'd been holding in let out in a gasp. Jane intertwined her fingers with his.  
"Maybe another day? It just hasn't happened yet..." Jane smiled, leaving it completely open for Chellick to interpret. He looks up at her with wide emeralds.  
"Y-you mean you would... have my child?" Jane couldn't hold back her chuckle.  
"Of course I would, I love you," Jane said definitively.  
"You would make a wonderful mother," Chellick thought aloud and nuzzled deeper into Jane's neck, his tongue lapping at his bond mark.

The two lovers rested a while as they let their new feelings and the situation settle. It was even longer before one of them spoke.  
"Tell me about your mother, you said you needed to speak with her before broaching the subject of our bonding," Chellick began, his words much more corrigible than before the nesting saga. Jane wasn't sure if he was upset or thought that she wanted to keep their relationship a secret.  
"I'm not ashamed of what we have Decian it's just... she's always been so strict with me not just in life but with the traditions too. She has a complete 'First Contact War' attitude and I haven't spoken to her since she left for Akuze." Jane's voice was strained at the thought of facing her mother. She loved her dearly but hated the thought of that disappointed tone, the 'I expected better of you Jane', filled her with dread.  
"She's on Akuze? Quite an expedition I heard," Chellick commented.  
"Yeah, I haven't been in touch with her since she left for the Relay and I don't think she'd take it too well if I sprung on her how drastically my life has changed," Jane elaborated.  
"What is your relationship like with her?"  
"She's strict, she was like a mentor to me more than a mother but I always missed her when she was gone. She always knew what words to say, even if they were said over millions of light years," Jane said sadly.  
"I'm sure she will support the decisions you have made; your life has been a successful one has it not? She must be proud you earned your N7 badge and I heard you were put forward for Spectre candidacy, what happened?" There was a genuine curiosity in Chellick's voice that Jane found so endearing and sweet that she couldn't refuse him the answer.  
"I was the commanding officer of the SSV Normandy, I earned the title after gaining my N7 badge. We had a Spectre onboard; we thought it was due to the significance of our mission but it transpired he was evaluating me for suitability as a Spectre." Jane seemingly concluded her story there but Chellick urged her to continue.  
"There was an accident and I was discharged from service, I don't know what happened to the Spectre," Jane's brow furrowed as she mentally recalled the incident. The vision that empowered her mind, feeding her with information that shouldn't have been known, separating soul from body. She remembered the hard impact as a Turian tackled her from the extra-terrestrial grasp only to be caught in it himself. The explosion. Then nothing. Her memories had never been the same since that incident. Always blank spots filled with the impossible white noise that never manifested into what happened. 

**Lower Wards, 31st March 2177**

Jane was sat in a booth seat in the corner of the Chora's Den; the familiar music thumped in her chest but she felt lost in the trance and so welcomed the rhythmic vibrations in her body. Over the last few months, she'd fallen so deep for Chellick. Ever since the night he whispered in her ear as a disgruntled C-Sec officer to last night when they shared such a delicate moment over the idea of her carrying his child, she had fallen for him and Jane was realising that she no longer wanted to lie to him and constantly be in the line of fire.  
"Jane?" She turned to the smooth, familiar voice with a saddened smile.  
"Nihlus, I'm glad you came," she gestured for him to sit beside her, when he did, their knees touched and her head swam with an uncomfortable haze.  
"My dear, what is wrong? You look upset," Nihlus tilted his head to get a better view of Jane's face. Her face was wet and her eyes were red, Nihlus' eyes widened but Jane spoke before he could console her.  
"I care about you a lot. That's why I kept protecting you from C-Sec. But just talking about it to Decian brought it all back and I just... I don't want anyone to get hurt and I don't want to lie anymore..." Her voice was broken from crying and she was finding it hard to swallow.  
"I don't understand," Nihlus said softly.  
"Please stop Nihlus. Stop selling Red Sand. I don't want you to get hurt or wind up behind bars or worse, end up on the Purgatory! I want you safe, I-" Nihlus leaned forward and gently lapped his tongue over her cheeks to lick away the tears, an intimate gesture she hadn't felt since Eden Prime. He stopped and held his forehead against hers, their noses touching, eyes searing and lips just a breath apart.  
Distant memories compelled his mouth plates to hers and in the flick of his tongue, Jane fell under his familiar spell. Their tongues danced a practised tango and soon they were panting, the talons of one hand shredding the leather of the seat whilst his second had bunched up her molten red hair. Nihlus felt like he had ascended to the Spirits but the moment froze when Jane pressed her hands to his chest, gently pushing him away and he sighed as his memories melded back into reality.  
"Do you remember much...?" Nihlus asked quietly, eyes gazing intently at her. She nodded solemnly, whispering her reply.  
"I do... sometimes"  
"Me too..." he choked back a keen.  
"That's why I don't want you hurt Nihlus. You have to promise me, no more. No more Nihlus. I love Decian and I can't bear lying to him but I can't let you carry on like this either."  
"Okay," Nihlus agrees to Jane's surprise.  
"I have one more event and the last of my shipment will be sold there. After that, no more, I promise," he grips her chin to ensure she looks him in the eye as he promises.  
"Thank you," she whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SkHkVsmbJOo


	7. Staff Relations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane is aboard the SSV Normandy and is trying to come to terms with having a Spectre along for the seemingly innocent ride but a glitch in the ship's stealth systems means they are stuck in drift for a little longer than anticipated leaving her with a mountain of reports to complete and a very observant Spectre to pull her from the grindstone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, another update because I wrote about 3 chapter's worth from when I was ill and I am just inundated so I want to get rid and post it! We've gone back in time and he first half of this chapter to be honest is more of a recap to the events when on the Normandy before entering Eden Prime's atmosphere so if that isn't your cup of tea, feel free to skip to the second half! I just want to re-iterate that this is a complete and utter alternate universe, the dates are in no way accurate and neither are the events so if someone says to me 'oh Eden Prime was on this date and Nihlus died because of Saren' I will virtually shoot you! :)  
> On a lighter note, feel free to contact me via email: kittie.valentine@yahoo.com Discord: Kittie Valentine #1441 and I am on Tumblr too. Link to the featured song will be in the bottom notes. Hope you enjoy, please leave a comment! I would love to hear what you think of the fic! x

__

_'People want to talk about the future,  
don't want to linger on the past,  
just want to reach to the real you inside.'_

**SSV Normandy, 2nd October 2173**

"Relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence. We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination. Relay is hot, said acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit. Board is green. Approach run has begun. Hitting the relay in 3..... 2..... 1....." The air suddenly felt pressured and hot. Jane's chest was tight and her head swam for a second as the Normandy was propelled across the galactic system. Then as quickly as it came, the ill feeling went.  
"Thrusters... check. Navigation... check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift... just under 1500 K," Joker smiled and leaned back into the pilot chair, seemingly impressed with himself.  
"1500 K is good. Your captain will be pleased," commented the Spectre clad in his obscenely extravagant armour before making his way towards Navigation. Joker decided to hazard a glance over his shoulder to see that there was no looming Turian.  
"I hate that guy," he tutted.  
"Nihlus gave you a compliment... so you hate him?" Alenko questioned from the seat beside him.  
"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible! Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him onboard. Call me paranoid," Joker's tone had gone from disbelief to something a lot more serious.  
"You're paranoid," Alenko threw in before the disgruntled pilot continued.  
"The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment." Alenko returned his gaze to the task at hand.  
Yeah that is the official story. But only an idiot believes the official story," Joker quipped.  
You always expect the worst," Jane commented having listened to Joker's rant.  
"Well, bad feelings are an occupational hazard. We don't go anywhere unless there's a good reason, so what are we doing here?" Joker questioned only to be met with the telltale static of an incoming transmission.  
"Joker! Status report." It was Captain Anderson.  
"Just cleared the Mass Relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid," Joker answered clearly.  
"Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network, I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."  
"Aye aye Sir. Better brace yourself Sir, I think Nihlus is headed your way." Joker could have cringed with embarrassment when Anderson replied.  
"He's already here, Lieutenant. Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing."  
"You get that Commander?" Joker asked.  
"I'm on my way," was all Jane responded with before taking her leave. 

Jane was making her way past Navigation when she overheard Corporal Jenkins. It seemed he shared the same views as her pilot.  
"-I grew up on Eden Prime, Doc. It's not the kind of place Spectres visit. There's something Nihlus isn't telling us about this mission." This was all true and it was leading to a few sceptical thoughts in Jane's mind but either way, she had orders to follow and it was her job to succeed so she wasn't going to question Nihlus' presence on the ship. She reached the comm room and found that not only the holo-link hadn't been initiated yet but Nihlus was already there. He turned at the sound of Jane's footsteps.  
"Commander Shepard, I was hoping you'd get here first, it will give us chance to talk." He took a few steps forward and almost breached Jane's personal space circumference.  
"What about?" So far, Nihlus hadn't really had anything to say to Jane aside from interjecting some of her decisions and cross-examining every action.  
"I'm interested in this world we're going to, Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful." It wasn't a comment Jane was expecting from a Spectre but she didn't dwell on that too much, she was too hung up on the way his emarald eyes fixed on her's as he said 'beautiful'.  
"They say it's a paradise," she confirmed with a nod.  
"Yes... a paradise. Serene. Tranquil. Safe. Eden Prime has become something of an icon for your people hasn't it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy but protect them. But how safe is it really?" By now Jane's underlying suspicions were getting the better of her and she decided to have it out with the Spectre because no one else sure as hell would.  
"Do you know something?" Nihlus glanced at her.  
"Your people are still newcomers Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?" That's when Captain Anderson arrived and Jane was told the truth about the mission. That some strange signals had been picked up during planetary probing and a ground team was already scouting the region but a failure in the Normandy's shields meant they couldn't break Eden Prime's atmosphere until the mechanical issue was rectified. They were stuck in drift for the foreseeable. 

 

**SSV Normandy, 8th October 2173**

The Normandy had been drifting for six days now, unable to approach Eden Prime due to the fault with the ship's shields. This had meant an intense amount of reports for Jane to write up and relay back to the Citadel and by now, she was beginning to neglect herself in favour of completing the workload. She was constantly receiving updates from the ground team that was currently scouting the planet and it was required that Jane create a chronological database to log the information. Nihlus hadn't failed to notice Jane's work ethic, he was always sat watching her from the couch in her quarters or stood a few feet off to the side and leaning in a doorway, admiring her tenacity and determination to get a job done. He was like a bad smell but a very handsome and charming one. Jane was busy typing up a status report at her terminal when Nihlus stood up from the couch, casually sauntering over to where she was sat.  
"Commander, I believe you haven't yet eaten," he said, it was more a statement than question. Jane paused only to answer, not looking up at the Spectre.  
"I was thinking I'd just grab something when I finished these reports." Nihlus nodded and left. 

Jane had no comprehension of how much more time passed but the terminal before her gradually became a blur of iridescent orange before turning to black and the next thing she knew, she awoke to something gently shaking her and the feint aroma of food tickling her nostrils. She groggily sat up and wiped away the damp patch at the corner of her mouth and realised she was still sat at her terminal. Still partially in the land of nod, she looked around the floor and saw Nihlus’ unmistakable feet beside her.  
“What time is it?” she asked with a croak in her voice.  
“It’s 0500 hours Commander Shepard. It seems you have been overworking yourself so I took the liberty of putting together a Levo meal you should find edible.” Jane looked up at the Turian and saw his mandibles slacken, it was a gesture she’d noticed him do a lot but she didn’t understand what it meant.  
“You didn’t have to do that Nihlus, uhm, Spectre… sorry,” she fumbled at her words and silently cursed herself for not addressing him correctly.  
“Nihlus is fine… assuming Jane is also?” Jane smiled and nodded.  
“Excellent, now, come and eat,” he set his hands on Jane’s shoulders as she stood and guided her to the table near her bed, where sat a plate of piping hot food. As she ate, Nihlus sat at the foot of her bed, watching intently as she ate the meal he had taken the time to prepare. It didn’t feel like usual. He wasn’t observing her or studying her. He was just watching, like he was figuring something out. Nihlus took the plate from Jane’s hands when she stood to take it back to the Mess Hall and placed it back on the table.  
“Jane you must stop worrying yourself with small details. You are a very powerful woman and I would hate to lose sight of that. Now go shower, relax and get some well-deserved rest. You will not be needed for any tasks tomorrow.” Jane did as he asked and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her and stripping from her uniform that was damp from sweating in her sleep. The hot water began to run and steam soon claimed the room. 

When she finished and returned to the main bedroom, she found that Nihlus had already left but not before cleaning her quarters. The datapads were stacked neatly, her terminal was switched off, lights were dimmed and the corner of her duvet had been pulled down ready for her to get in. The gesture was deeply humbling and Jane felt the need to go and thank the Spectre. Nihlus had an open door policy and if his door was unlocked, he invited all to feel welcome enough to walk in and approach him. Jane did exactly that only she wasn’t expecting the sight that she was met with. The Spectre was barely dressed and had only a skin-like material covering his bottom half. He was muscular and dark plated with an undertone of red. His colony markings a striking contrast along with his emerald green eyes that Jane so often got lost in. As he busied himself, she couldn’t help but notice the scars that littered his torso but rather than be saddened by them, Jane felt they merely adorned him even more than his natural features.  
“Can I help you Jane or do you see something you perhaps like?” _When had he noticed her?_ Jane thought to herself. _Shit, he knew she had been admiring his form._  
“I uhm…” Her voice began to waver as she mentally undressed the rest of him, Nihlus’ mandibles flickering regularly.  
“I just wanted to say thank you for everything, for the meal, tidying up my mess. It was really kind of you so, thank you.” Jane turned to leave but Nihlus called her back.  
“With you being free tomorrow, perhaps we could spar?” Jane was taken aback by his sudden change of heart. Up until now all Nihlus had done was say how dangerous it would be and that no human could handle a Turian without the proper training.  
“I would like that very much. Perhaps we could set up a training program, if not for the whole team then maybe just me and I can then train capable individuals in the future and –“ Nihlus had to interrupt the Commander mask that had fallen back into place.  
“Jane. This is between you and I only,” he said it so sternly that Jane felt a little intimidated, like it wasn’t just going to be a sparring match.  
“I will call for you, go and get some rest.”  
“Yes Spectre,” Jane turned and left. Her stomach was doing somersaults and her entire body was tingling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JnAFCOzdUE


	8. The Shape of Things to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus invites jane to a sparring session regardless that she hasn't yet completed her CQC training and it unfortunately ends in the Med-Bay but he insists on caring for jane himself. Their newfound intimacy leads to Jane breaking a new boundary in her life but with a mission so close, will it be the best decision to make?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Turian_Biskit! I really appreciated your email, it's great to know you're enjoying the fic. My onslaught of chapters is almost complete and I am also considering a title change! Dun dun duuuun! So, thank you to all of you who have read, liked and commented and I hope to continue my delivery of decent fic :)  
> Link to featured song in bottom notes :)

__

_'But the hard times are golden,  
'cause they all lead to better days'_

**SSV Normandy, 10th October 2173**

 

Jane didn’t really know what to expect from the spar session with Nihlus, she assumed it would be a case of more endurance and stamina training than hand-to-hand combat but she was so wrong. Nihlus was prepared and had arranged the crash mats and was wearing only his undersuit compared to Jane who had brought her armour along too in case they used the simulation system.  
“Off with the armour Jane,” his commanding voice dominated the space and Jane felt compelled to do nothing but obey him. He was busy staring at her intently as she removed the plates and smirked.  
“What’s so funny Commander?” he tilted his head to one side in question.  
“You. Staring,” Jane answered.  
“I admire things that deserve admiring,” there it was again, the flexed mandibles but this time Jane’s cheeks were on fire and she failed to react when Nihlus lunged towards her. Thankfully he was just setting their positions and released Jane whilst dropping into his fighting stance. With the flick of a hand, Nihlus struck out at Jane but she dodged and took the opportunity to land a punch in the vulnerable hide of his stomach. He growled at the ache and reached for her again, talons just catching her shoulder but not enough to grasp. When that failed, he jabbed with his other arm but Jane ducked and swept a leg under his. Nihlus stumbled, narrowly avoiding a tumble to the floor. He grabbed for Jane again but she rolled over her shoulder out of his reach. She was much quicker than he was but his was much bigger and in a desperate moment he lunged and grabbed her, his talons snagging her skin, revealing themselves deep gauges of red blood. They both stood for a moment, breathing heavily but then Jane threw her head forward, her nose cracking against the tough plates of Nihlus' face. In reaction he threw her to floor, the impact making her see stars. He proceeded to straddle her and the look in his eyes was carnal. He flipped her onto her front like a pancake and twisted her arm behind her back. Unfortunately, he had underestimated his own strength and heard a strange crunching pop alongside a yelp that came from Jane's mouth. He froze.  
"Jane? Are you hurt?" he asked frantically whilst trying to lift her gently. She whimpered slightly and he noticed the arm he had grabbed hung limp.  
"What have I done...?" he whispered under his breath.  
"Nihlus, it's fine, it's just dislocated, you just need to-" Nihlus interrupted her in his blind panic.  
"Dislocated?! I must take you to the Med-Bay immediately, your wounds need treating also..." They were already in the elevator and Jane looked up to see that Nihlus' mandibles were tight against his face. 

"Doctor Chakwas! The Commander requires urgent attention," Nihlus commanded and Chakwas was to her feet instantly worried that something serious had happened. She prepared a bed for Jane who was set down gently by Nihlus.  
"What is her condition Spectre Kryik?" she asked.  
"Doctor, I'm fine, my arm is dislocated and I have a few scratches, that's all," Jane tried to sit up on her good elbow as she explained.  
"How did this happen Commander?" Chakwas was sat beside the bed with a miniature torch and datapad.  
"We were sparring, I got over-enthusiastic, Nihlus got over-enthusiastic and this happened." The doctor shone the light at Jane's eyes to check the dilation, which appeared normal.  
"You and the Spectre were sparring? That is dangerous, Commander. You aren't due your Turian CQC training until we dock at the Citadel," Chakwas stated. Nihlus approached the females.  
"Actually Doctor, the whole incident was my fault entirely. I suggested we spar in the first place." Chakwas kept her gaze on Jane and decided to continue with her checks.  
"Commander, could you tell me how many fingers I am holding up?" She held up her three middle fingers and Jane answered immediately.  
"Two."  
"Okay Commander, it seems to me that you have mild concussion, you're going to need to rest for a while until the effects reduce." Chakwas inputted the information into the datapad.  
"She will stay with me, I will take care of her Doctor," Nihlus again commanded.  
"As you wish Spectre," Chakwas answered, "but first, I must attend to this arm. Spectre, if you wouldn't mind helping, I'd like you to hold the Commander steady whilst I set the joint back into its socket." Nihlus gulped loudly as he sat beside Jane and gripped her good shoulder with one hand and her waist on the opposite side. Chakwas was extremely efficient and Nihlus only heard an uncomfortable grunt from Jane before he was told it was over. He allowed the good doctor time to complete her report before approaching Jane who was getting ready to leave.  
"I will see that the Commander applies medigel to these wounds, she will also reside in my quarters where I can supervise her recovery," Nihlus looked Jane up and down before guiding her out of the med-bay. 

 

When they arrived at Nihlus' quarters, Jane was surprised that the Spectre helped her to his bed, she was expecting him to let her use the couch if anything and return to her quarters once the headache had subsided but instead he was extremely gentle and attentive, setting her down on the mattress like a sleeping child. Her stomach flipped when he began undressing her top half. He didn't seem phased by her anatomy or the fact that he was simply removing her clothes.  
"Nihlus?" He didn't stop to even look at her.  
"I need to apply medigel to these wounds, including the superficial ones," he responded, placing his ungloved hand on her now bare shoulder.  
"How does it feel?" He asked. Jane swivelled her arm a little and winced slightly under his grasp.  
"Still a little sore but it's fine," Nihlus regarded her with a less than convinced expression, his touch leaving her only for a moment before returning and guiding her to lie down. He lay his hand against her forehead and tilted his head to the side.  
"You're hot," he stated. Jane tried to lighten the mood and smirked and quirked an eyebrow.  
"As well as smolderingly attractive..." Jane's features dropped and his mandibles drew in around his face when he realised what he had said as he left for the bathroom. He returned with a cloth and pack of medigel.  
"Turn over," he whispered. Jane didn't think he meant to sound so sultry but that could have been the concussion talking. Once she had adjusted herself, he gently dabbed the damp cloth over the scratches, making sure they were clean before applying the medigel to the cuts and surrounding red areas. His touch was tender as he slid his hands over her waist and shoulders and not long after, he leaned forward and nuzzled his face in her hair and neck. Nihlus' advances caused Jane to jump and her body only arched closer to Nihlus. He growled softly in her ear, letting his rough tongue taste the skin of her neck. She gasped under his ministrations and as he drew back, he pulled her to turn over onto her back, his eyes meeting hers in a heated gaze. It was that moment that Nihlus decided to push the boundaries of his relationship with the Commander by bringing up his hand and brushing his thumb over her lower lip, he gently tugged and took note of the shudder that ran through Jane’s body.  
“You are a remarkable woman Commander Shepard,” he breathed against her, Jane was fumbling over her words, what woupd ve deemed as a suitable response to that? What would be professional?  
“Spectre…” She wanted to find the words to respond but her mind was distracted by the way Nihlus was touching her and much she wanted to kiss him as alien as the thought was.  
“Spectre, we… we shouldn’t…” Jane didn’t quite understand what she was insinuating, maybe this was a Turian thing, maybe Nihlus was being perfectly innocent. At that moment, Nihlus leaned over her, his face inches from hers, so close she could kiss him. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to try.  
“Why shouldn’t we?” he asked, nuzzling her neck again but with ore fervour.  
“Nihlus… S-Spectre,” Jane corrected herself. Nihlus chuckles to himself, he knew what he was doing, all those Turian smiles, sparring with her.  
“Don’t you want me too Jane?” He uttered in her ear, oozing sex appeal and confidence Jane inadvertently gasped, she knew it was a bad idea, he was a Spectre, she a Commander but then, it could be the concussion making her think this way. She’d never been attracted to another species before, let alone had experience with one.  
“I want you Nihlus,” she overruled the voice in her head. 

He dived forward, his mouth plates crushing against her soft lips without a second thought. He slid a taloned hand down to her waist and held himself up with the other, placing it beside her face. His subharmonics vibrated deep in his chest. Jane parted her lips and Nihlus took the opportunity without hesitation. His tongue met hers eagerly, their kisses urgent despite the unusual contrast in anatomy. His talons began to dig into the skin of her waist. Jane’s head was spinning but that could have been the concussion. Nihlus parted from her, his attention now set on the delicate skin of her neck. It sent shivers through Jane’s spine and she gathered enough confidence to reach and grasp at his cowl, stretching her neck so he had better access. As strange as it was, Jane was addicted to the roughness of his mouth plates, his teeth catching on her tongue when they kissed. Nihlus took her free hand and pulled it to reach behind his head so she could stroke the spot beneath his fringe.He groaned at the circular motions she rubbed against the rough hide, returning his mouth to hers.  
His hands moved to unfasten her cargo pants, dragging then down her slender legs unceremoniously as she began to struggle with the clasps of his undersuit. With a little help from the Spectre, she pushed the garment over his shoulders, him wriggling to free his arms and return them to her body. He cast a glance and a flick of his mandibles before flipping Jane onto her front and expertly unclasping her bra. Nihlus sat himself on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight and pulled Jane into his lip, one hand holding her back and the other on the curve of her ass. Jane arched into him, the curve of her breasts within reach. Nihlus kissed across her chest, nipping at the flesh before dragging his tongue across both breasts. Jane was panting as he explored her body. His tongue darted across her breasts, circling her nipples as she arched further into him, desperate for more contact, his grasp tightened on her. His talons were sharp but not as sharp as some other Turians Jane had seen, it still smarted when they pierced her skin. Jane’s hands attempted to remove more of his undersuit but Nihlus gripped them and flipped them so she lay on her back beneath him. His pressed his mouth plates to her neck and kissed along her stomach and to the hem of her underwear. The last piece of clothing that covered her. His mandibles slackened and he hooked his fingers around the waistband before pulling them down her legs and tossing them behind him. He moved to kneel at the edge of the bed, grabbing her ankles and dragging her down to him in one pull. He braced her legs around his shoulders and began kissing along the inside of her thighs, his mandibles tickling the flesh. Nihlus carefully spread her with his fingers and brought his face to her sex before sliding his tongue inside her. It was an odd sensation but not unpleasant. His tongue was slightly moist but his reach meant he was able to stimulate all of those sensitive spots and with the added roughness, it was driving Jane wild with abandon. Tiny beads of sweat were decorating her body as her heart began pounding and that familiar sensation settled between her legs. She clenched her hands into fists, gripping the sheets as her back arched and a scream escaped her throat. Her thighs were trembling and her stomach so tight it was painful, her hand had moved to grip his fringe. Nihlus continued to lap her slit, tasting her and growling in lustful approval. Just as Jane thought he was about to ease off, he nipped her clit and the pleasure that had been gently re-mounting exploded and she cried out, desperately grabbing his hands. Her muscles continued to spasm as she rode out her high and she only just comprehended the feeling of Nihlus draping himself over her body and holding himself up by his elbows. 

He pressed his mouth plates to her lips in a soft kiss that with little encouragement, became heated and desperate. Jane was writhing so Nihlus took her legs and slowly wrapped them around his waist, setting them atop his hip spurs, his gaze never leaving her, almost to be certain that she consented to every second. His length was brushing against her sex and with a quick snap of his hips, he was inside her. Jane yelped at the sudden intrusion, Nihlus was much bigger than the average human and judging by the way he felt, he was very differently shaped – not that she was complaining. His cock felt ribbed and thicker at the base, each movement stimulated her nerves and rewarded him with tiny gasps. She inhaled sharply as he gave a firm thrust but then he settled for a rhythmic movement, each thrust lubricating them more and more. Jane felt liberated, empyrean, in absolute bliss. Each thrust sent Jane closer towards the headboard and she found that pushing with her arm held her in place and saved her from worsening that concussion. Nihlus had buried his face into her neck, deeply scenting her hair and moaning with each snap of his hips. As Jane’s cries intensified, he pulled her into his lap so she was riding him and began thrusting even harder and at a much faster pace, gripping her ass cheeks hard whilst she desperately clutched onto his cowl. He growled so loudly it made Jane moan and suddenly she was overwhelmed by a burst of pleasure that made her see stars and grab onto Nihlus hard. He continued his furious pace but his thrusts soon became sloppy as his his impending orgasm threatened to take over him. He gripped Jane’s waist, digging in his talons and with a deep, hard thrust he let out a carnal groan and filled her with his cum, gently pumping himself as he growled through his ecstasy. 

The two fell backwards, Nihlus only just remembering to hold his full weight off of Jane, their heavy, laboured breaths the only sound in the cabin. After minutes of regaining their composure, Nihlus lifted himself to look at Jane. He smirked and brushed a lock of damp hair from her face.  
"Beautiful" he whispered in subharmonics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBAHqRnSgRw


	9. Memory Deleted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission on Eden Prime is a go ahead but upon locating the beacon, all seems lost for Jane and Nihlus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, I don't have any excuses, life, other fic... but I'm back-ish ;)
> 
> Link in the bottom notes, unfortunately I couldn't find a suitable video so this the artist performing at the horrendously hipster and muddy Glastonbury.   
> PS. Don't go, Glastonbury is shit.

_

'Instead of running, I keep it slow,  
'cause I won't let this take control'

_

**SSV Normandy, 17th October 2173**

Seven days had passed since Jane and Nihlus began their interspecies liaison and it had taken the Spectre two of those days to convince Jane that he wasn't interested in the idea of it being a fetish, he wanted her and he made that clear through his unquenchable thirst for her. His primal need for her knew no boundaries, his subharmonics never suppressed and his gaze on her always intense. She had been sleeping in his quarters but nobody questioned it and nobody questioned Nihlus when he left her cabin once dressed only from the waist down. His favourite way of teasing her was to ghost his teeth over her neck. She knew that from the pressure and the way he always did it when they slept together there was something significant from the concept of biting her neck but she never pried. It was exciting enough exploring another species intimately for the first time. 

Joker had contacted Jane over the comms to inform her that the stealth systems were again operating at optimum capacity and that Captain Anderson had authorised the continuation of the proposed mission on Eden Prime. She was tightening the final clasps of her armour when she turned to look at Nihllus who was deep in concentration and furiously typing on a datapad.   
"What you working on?" She asked. He practically jumped out of his skin and closed the application he had been working so hardly on.  
"Oh it's just a report I've been meaning to finish... Spectre issue, I'm afraid it's classified," he gave her a more than shifty look but Jane didn't really think anything of it and accepted his answer.  
"You ready to meet with the Captain? Eden Prime's a go," she smiled and they both left together, Nihlus wrapping his arm tightly around her waist.

Captain Anderson was already waiting for them when they arrived and he regarded them with a curt nod. He got straight to the point and repeated his debriefing from the week before.  
"We're making a covert pick-up on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth systems operational."  
"What's the payload, Captain?" Jane asked.  
"The research team on Eden prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It was Prothean," the Captain began striding around the room as he explained.  
"What else can you tell me?" The new information made Jane feel a little uneasy but if she had all of the information that was available, there's no doubt the mission would be a success. Anderson folded his arms across his chest.  
"This is big Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study." Nihlus spoke before the Captain continued anymore, his subharmonics on par with his voice.  
"Obviously, this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space."  
"It never hurts to have a few extra hands on board," Jane suggested, implying that Nihlus was only here for his own experience.  
"The beacon's not the only reason I'm here, Shepard," he took a step closer to her, she could feel his familiar warmth radiating against her and a glint in his eye.  
"Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander. He's here to evaluate you," Anderson stated as if he knew more than Jane did. Her eyes flicked between the two men.  
"What's going on, Captain?" She asked.  
"The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectre's represent the Council's power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come." Jane couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. She was aware that humanity had been working hard to gain a place on the Council but she never suspected they would approach her!  
"You held off an enemy assault during the Blitz single-handed. You showed not only courage but also incredible skill. That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres." No wonder he was nothing less than her shadow in the days that led to him bedding her. He was assessing her every move. Her every decision. The night he brought her food and insisted she was relieved of duties for 24 hours – he was analysing her endless work ethic and acknowledged that she would work herself into a stupor to get a job done. Jane turned to Anderson.  
"I assume this is good for the Alliance?" Jane asked.  
"Earth needs this, Shepard. We're counting on you," Anderson said this with such pride.  
"I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together." Nihlus had moved to stand beside her now as the Captain continued to brief them on the mission now that Jane knew the responsibility that sat on her shoulders.  
"You'll be in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission."  
"Just give the word, Captain," Jane asserted.  
"We should be getting close to Eden-" Anderson began but was cut off by a transmission from Joker.  
"Captain, we've got a problem," it was very unlike Joker to be concerned and it was all his voice was laced with.  
"What's wrong Joker?"  
"Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this!" His voice was urgent and the pilot didn't wait for prompting to send the footage to the comms room.

The screen came to life with a flurry of bullets both Alliance and an unknown assailant. There was screaming and shouting with no clear sense of direction. The team was clearly disoriented and unprepared for the attack. A female ran towards the officer with the camera and ordered him to get down behind cover. She fired at the area ahead of them but not aiming specifically at one target, they must have been outnumbered. Suddenly, another officer appeared and began shouting into the camera.  
"We are under attack! Taking heavy casualties, I repeat: heavy casualties! We can't... argh!... -eed evac! They came out of nowhere. We need--" A shot pierced his skull and he fell limp beside the officer as explosions rained debris over the area. A strange electric hum could be heard over the transmission and all of the officers froze on the spot, all firing ceased and their mouths fell open with a mixture of fear and confusion. It was coming from what could only be described as some kind of command ship, looming over the horizon slowly. Time seemed to stop but then it unleashed a volley of missiles and the transmission was cut off. The screen hissed with static and Jane, Nihlus and Anderson stood in silence.  
"Everything cuts out after that. No comm traffic at all. Just goes dead. There's nothing," Joker explained, his voice lacking the usual cocky confidence. Anderson's face was stern.  
"Reverse and hold at 38.5" The vid rewound at high speed and paused at the requested time, the command ship. It was unlike anything Jane had ever seen and obviously the two men beside her felt the same. She saw Nihlus' mandibles twitch in the corner of her eyes.  
"Status report."  
"Seventeen minutes out, Captain. No other Alliance ships in this area," Joker answered.  
"Take us in Joker. Fast and Quiet. This mission just got a lot more complicated." Nihlus glanced down at Jane and smiled.  
"A small strike team can move quickly without drawing attention. It's our best chance to secure the beacon." Anderson nodded in agreement.  
"Grab your gear and meet us in the cargo hold. Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up Commander. You're going in." Jane followed after Nihlus, trying her best to digest all of the information and what that transmission had shown.

"Your team's the muscle in this operation, Commander. Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site," Anderson instructed them.  
"What about survivors, Captain?" Questioned Officer Alenko. Nihlus glanced at Jane knowing that she didn't know the sacrifices Spectres made for the greater good of the masses yet.  
"Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon's your top priority." Anderson left the cargo hold to allow the strike team to prepare.  
"Approaching drop point one," announced Joker as they reached the planet's surface.  
"Nihlus? You're coming with us?" Asked Jenkins. Nihlus adjusted the safety lock on his Spectre issue pistol and tested the new scope he had attached.  
"I move faster on my own," he approached the ramp but Jane gripped his wrist.   
"Nihlus, Spectre or not, you are not going ahead on your own." He looked at her questioningly.  
"After what we saw in that transmission, we need to stay together and support each other as a team, I need you all together if I'm going to get us all out alive. In any case, you're here to evaluate me, so get behind me Spectre Kryik," Jane commanded. Nihlus smiled and stepped back a few paces.  
"Yes ma'am," he said, a low rumble vibrating through his chest that he knew she wouldn't be able to hear.

As the Normandy flew towards the LZ, it was impossible to ignore the red sky, coated in a dense blanket of smoke from fires that shouldn’t have been started. This planet was a paradise, a home for humans. Now it was the scene of a war with no apparent cause. Jane and her team hit the LZ and began to immediately scout the area from cover. It was too risky to not exercise caution and almost on queue a trio of airborne drones sped into the area, firing a barrage of energy rounds. Their fire was concentrated on one officer, the soldier from the vid feed. Jenkins. Jane swiftly took out the drones who luckily hadn’t noticed the team. Their rounds would have torn through their shields and at the least drawn even more attention to their position.  
“Ripped right through his shields. Never had a chance,” Kaiden commented in muted tones. Jane had knelt beside the officer to close his eyelids, finally granting him peaceful leave.   
"We'll see that he receives a proper service once the mission is complete. But I need you to stay focused,” Shepard pointed out with authority and Kaiden automatically straightened his back in response to her order.  
“Aye aye Ma’am,” he confirmed. Nihlus chose to remain silent throughout the whole exchange.

As the group continued on through the Earth-like terrain, they came to a halt as a female officer in white armour came sprinting from the direction they were headed;, she was under heavy fire from more of the drones but upon sliding into cover, she skilfully took them down. She withdrew from cover but this time she caught sight of two Geth troopers crowding around the corpse of a male colonist. There was only a second to digest the scene before an artificial spine speared the man’s limp and lifeless body. The Geth turned and opened fire on the female. Jane took the first trooper out with relative ease, her team knocked down it’s shields but the second trooper caused her weapon to overheat, the pain searing through her hand. The officer stood warily, her legs threatening to give out.   
“Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. You the one in charge here Ma’am?” she asked with a hint of returning confidence to her voice. Jane didn’t bother answering her question.  
“Are you wounded Williams?” Ashley glanced down at her body.  
“A few scrapes and burns. Nothing serious. The others weren’t so lucky.” She took a breath as she recalled the attack, the events that had transpired had taken their toll.  
“Oh man… We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit. We tried to get off a distress call but they cut off our communications. I’ve been fighting for my life ever since.”By now, Ashley was pacing back and forth with distress.  
“Geth deploying jammers… interesting…” Nihlus mumbled to himself.  
“Where’s the rest of your squad?”Jane enquired, ignoring Nihlus.  
“We tried to double-back to the beacon but we walked into an ambush. I don’t think any of the others… I think I’m the only one left,” Ashley mournfully admitted. Her shoulders slumped with the grief.  
“This isn’t your fault Williams. You couldn’t have done anything to save them,” Jane reasoned. Nihlus nodded, he was suitably impressed with Jane’s ability to maintain morale in such predicaments.  
“Yes Ma’am. We held our position as long as we could. Until the Geth overwhelmed us,” Ashley’s voice had taken on a vengeful tone thanks to Jane’s words of encouragement.  
“The Geth haven’t been seen outside the Veil in nearly 200 years. Why are they here now?” Kaiden offered a new perspective on the attack, Nihlus taking including it deep in his thoughts.  
“They must have come for the beacon,” Nihlus proclaimed, his brow plates high with realisation.  
“The dig site is close. Just over that rise, it might still be there,” Ashley pointed with a new sense of urgency.  
“We could use your help Williams,” Jane suggested.   
“Aye aye Ma’am,” Ashley accepted. Nihlus was practically beaming at how pro-active Jane was, he was impressed with her skill on the field and his subharmonics confirmed he was just as proud to be with her.   
“Move out!” Jane called, receiving a chorus of ‘aye ayes’.

After a brief jog to the dig site, Jane wasn’t in the least bit impressed to find that the beacon wasn’t there. Kaiden had wondered if it was a member of the archaeologist team who had moved it or whether it was the Geth. Which begged the question of why was it moved in the first place? Jane instructed her team to search the nearby campsite for any clues as to where the beacon had been transferred to. They were met with a nightmarish sight. Corpses impaled and suspended in the air, the bodies hanging limp and lifeless, faces as if their life and soul had left in their last breath. It was disturbing but the entire team failed to hide their surprise when the spires retracted and the husked bodies began to stumble towards them. The venomous gurgles spilling from their mouths. It was a swift firefight and they were thankful for it to be over.   
They were making their way across the complex when the ground began to shake, leaves fell from the trees and rocks began to crumble as the same ship from the vid feed engaged it’s engines and began to rise into the demonic sky. There was no time to lose however and they continued on towards the main port but were startled by a clattering of crates in the corner. The barrels of their guns were focused on the source of the sound.  
“Don’t shoot! I-I’m sorry… I was hiding from those creatures. My name’s Powell, I’m a colonist here…” the man could barely speak, he needed extracting but the top priority was to locate the beacon so Jane cut straight to the chase.  
“We were told a Prothean beacon was brought to this spaceport. Where is it?” The colonist fumbled over his words slightly.  
“It’s on the other platform… you can take a cargo lift there.” Powell shook his head in disbelief.  
“I knew that beacon was trouble. Everything’s gone to hell since we found it. First that damn mother ship, then the attack-“  
“We need to find that beacon before it’s too late!” Jane interjected as she sprinted for the cargo lift that had just docked at their platform. They were halfway there when they were ambushed by Geth and they discovered a number of charges set to detonate. Nihlus waited for Jane to make a decision on the best course of action, so far he was impressed with her methods – an excellent candidate for the Spectres.   
“Shit… we’ll split into two groups, Kaiden, Ashley, you two disarm those charges. The Spectre and I will continue to the beacon. We’ll rendezvous there, is everyone clear?” Jane looked each team member in the eye.  
“Yes Ma’am,” they answered in unison. Nihlus pressed his hand to the small of Jane’s back, a simple gesture in the eyes of others but to them, it was special. When they arrived at the spaceport, the beacon was a tall spire, covered in purple plating and glowing with data that shone with blue. Jane was mesmerised that it was so intact. Nihlus didn’t pay any attention to Jane as he patched through to Joker.  
“Normandy, the beacon is secure. Requesting immediate evac.” Nihlus still had his back turned to Jane, his mentor had always taught him to never be complacent. Never turn your back even on the direction you came.   
“This is amazing. Actual working Prothean technology! Unbelievable!” Jane was much more jovial now that it was just her and Nihlus, she had every faith that Kaiden and Ashley would deactivate those charges. Jane studied the mysterious artefact as it whirred with newfound life.  
“Odd… the reports didn’t mention that it was processing data like this. Something must have activated it.” Jane moved towards the beacon for closer inspection.   
“Roger Normandy, standing by,” Nihlus concluded his call with Joker and turned back to Jane but even now, it was too late. A blinding light shot from the spire, a wave of energy passing through Jane. She stumbled then felt an invisible force wrap around her body. She tried to fight it but the artificial gravity was too strong. The closer she got, the clearer the images became thag flashed through her mind.   
“Jane!” cried Nihlus, his subharmonics overpowering his voice. He darted towsrds her and the next thing Jane knew was the impact from Nihlus’ plated and heavily armoured body colliding with hers. He grabbed her in what was similar to the Heimlich manoeuvre and threw her to the side with all of his might. Jane sat up to find Nihlus ensnared in the beacon.   
“Nihlus!” she cried, reaching out to grab him but strong arms held her down.  
“No! Don’t touch him! It’s too dangerous!” insisted Kaiden. This situation was above subordination. This was life and death. Nihlus’ body was lifted into the air, his arms spread like a prophet; his mandibles clicked aggressively as he was mentally enslaved. A piercing shriek penetrated his and Jane’s skulls before an explosion threw them both backwards. Their world faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=20U1Job-GxU


	10. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane takes Decian to meet David Anderson but in doing so, receives some bad news. She reacts badly and ends up in the arms of a stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all,  
> So I've really enjoyed writing this particular chapter and the next one which is nearly complete. I found a really helpful way of writing my chapters and also remembering the key scenes and it's ridiculously simple - bullet points. I'm over the moon and can't believe I've never done it before! I must sound ridiculous.  
> Anyway, we're going to see a new character enter the fic and hopefully I can portray him well. Thanks for the support and feel free to contact me via email: kittie.valentine@yahoo.com
> 
> Link to featured song will be in bottom notes.

_'But here's the ground and there's your feet  
And never the two shall meet'_

_“The scans I analysed of your brains suggest that there is a lack of neurones in this particular area,” _Chakwas drew an invisible circle with her stylus around the dark area.__  
 _“This part of the cerebral cortex controls the memories and from the tests I conducted on the both of you, it seems you are suffering with rather unpredictable memory loss regarding the incident on Eden Prime and those involved. It’s remarkable to say the least but unfortunately there’s no way for me to bring back those memories. All I can suggest is a course of therapy and offer you any counselling you feel you may need.”_  
 _“We appreciate all of your work but I have to ask, will this effect my suitability to work?” Jane worried that the brain damage would earn her early dismissal and she only just got the Normandy. The doctor smiled and shook her head._  
 _“Not at all, I ran all of the necessary procedures and you are perfectly able to continue your work although I recommend a full two cycle’s rest and that you both attend this course of treatment.” Chakwas signed the datapad to conclude her report whilst Jane and Nihlus stood to take their leave from the Medbay._  
 _“Thank you doctor,” Nihlus said with heavy subharmonics, he could sense the tension in Jane and he felt responsible but there was no way he was going to have let that beacon harm her. Jane was about to head off in the opposite direction when Nihlus gripped her wrist and forcibly pulled her against his body, pressing his mouthplates firmly against her lips in a smouldering kiss._  
 _“I love you Jane Shepard,” he rumbled in subharmonics, knowing she would never understand them._

 _It was the end of her shift and Jane was headed back to her cabin for a long, hot shower and an early night but she was stopped in her tracks when she saw that her cabin door was unlocked. She always locked it if she wasn’t in there and no-one else had access to it. The doors hissed open and she burst in to find a Turian dressed only in only his undersuit._  
_“What the hell do you think you’re doing in my cabin?!” she bellowed. The Turian in question looked at her, his mandibles were tight against his face as he regarded her._  
_“Jane?” he said quietly._  
_“How do you know my name? Look, just get out before I have you reprimanded and thrown out of the airlock!” she was hysterical by now but there was a strange knot in her stomach telling her that this whole situation was wrong._  
_“Jane… it’s me… Nihlus,” he took a step forward towards her but she flinched backwards. Nihlus continued to step closer and reached out to tuck a strand of her red hair away but she slapped at his arm._  
_“Don’t touch me!” she commanded but Nihlus didn’t listen, he wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to pull her to him but Jane lashed out even further. She writhed and squirmed in his grasp but when he went to kiss her, she threw her head back and headbutted him. He grunted in discomfort and wiped away the trickle of blue blood that had appeared at his nasal plates. A low keen of pain sounded from him and he left the cabin. When the doors hissed shit again and the silence settled, Jane slumped to the floor and cried as a memory flashed through her mind of her first kiss with Nihlus._

 

**Bachjret Ward, 31st March 2177**

Jane returned to Chellick’s apartment to find him in the kitchen sipping on a cup of golden Kava, the sweet but alien aroma filled the space. He hummed appreciatively as he set the cup down and smiled at Jane. She felt sick, sick at the lies she had told, sick with her past that had seemed to return and sick that she felt vulnerable enough to kiss Nihlus. It was not a situation Jane wanted to be in. It had to be resolved, she was bonded, not officially but she was Chellick’s.  
“You smell delightful Jane,” Chellick spoke up as she removed her jacket. It took her a moment to answer, thoughts of the morning weighing heavily on her.  
“And what do I smell like Decian?” she smiled back. He chuckled to himself, that same rumble he would use in bed to tease in her ear, to tell her of all the disgracefully good things he wanted to do to her. She melted in his gaze.  
“Me,” he replied plainly but the glint in his eyes spoke of pride. Jane’s knees could have buckled at that very second, it was now that she realised how in love with him she was.  
“Decian I was thinking,” she started. Chellick hummed questioningly.  
“I want to try and contact my mother, she should know about you and when she does, we can arrange to have our bonding recognised officially,” Jane smirked at the slack mandibled expression ok Chellick’s face.  
“Cat got your tongue?” she teased, shaking him out of his daze.  
“What is a cat-? Never mind. You want to do this…? Are you sure?” Chellick was so surprised but he had to admit, this was all he could ever want and he was not ashamed that she was human.  
“Yes, Decian, you and I are in love, we’re bonded, why should anyone dictate how we feel?” Jane’s voice was laced with confidence, this was their lives.  
“I- I wasn’t expecting a decision so soon, are you positively certain you are prepared to be introduced to the Hierarchy?” Jane nodded.  
“I need to visit Admiral Anderson, he officiates all contact to comm buoys associated with a team mission. He can reach mother and we’ll be able to start our life together properly.” Chellick stood and strode to Jane, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, purring lightly.  
“Let me come with you,” he pressed his forehead against Jane’s and purred louder before kissing her on the lips. It didn’t take much for the kiss to become heated and within minutes, the floor was hidden by their clothes and Chellick had Jane spread across the kitchen counter, his Kava soaked into the carpet from when he swept it away in his lustful stupor. 

 

**Alliance Embassy, 31st March 2177**

“Jane, it’s a pleasure to see you again, how have you been?” Anderson stood to shake Jane’s hand, he eyed Chellick but there was no malice behind it. He outstretched his arm to the Turian, which he took with a courteous nod.  
“I’m well David, and you?” Anderson shrugged as his omnitool continued to beep constsntly and gave her that look that spoke a thousand words – things were never well. He silenced the notifications and returned his gaze to the pair.  
“This is Decian Chellick,” Jane motioned to the Turian who instinctively wrapped his arm around her waist, Anderson’s eyes were questioning as he noted the Turian’s firm grasp.  
“He’s my mate,” Jane elaborated, waiting too long for Anderson’s reply but rather than shock or disgust, he was pleasantly surprised..  
“That explains it then, congratulations to the both of you,, although I have to admit, I did suspect you would settle down with a Turian after Nihlus,” Chellick’s head snapped to Jane.  
“Nihlus?” he asked as Jane’s stomach flipped.  
“Hm, Nihlus Kryik, I suppose he observed a little to much when he was evaluating you for Spectre candidacy,” Anderson joked.  
“He was the Spectre?” Chellick chirped with surprise.  
“And a damn good one too, I can only apologise for what you both went through on Eden Prime but all things considered, you look extremely happy. I know of your work for C-SEC Detective Chellick, fine work you do at the station,” Chellick puffed up his chest with pride, no-one had ever praised him before.  
“But I’m guessing you’re not here to talk business, what can I do for you?” Anderson sat back at his desk and gestured for them to take a seat opposite. Chellick was still badfled by the fact that Jane hadn’t divulged the entire story to him about her past. No wonder if she was in a relationship, with her superior at that.  
“Well, I was hoping you could get me in touch with my mother actually, I uhm, have a Turian to introduce to her,” Jane giggled but fell silent when she saw Anderson’s expression.  
“David?”  
“Jane, I don’t really know how to explain this but-“ Jane interrupted him before he had chance to begin.  
“What is going on? Has something happened?” Her eyes were filled with worry and Chellick placed a hand on her thigh to comfort her.  
“We’re not certain at this moment, the reports are unconfirmed and we haven’t been able to establish contact with the ground team-“ Anderson remained calm as he tried to explain but Jane’s concern was getting the better of her.  
“We received reports just a few hours prior to you arriving here that a distress beacon was set up on Akuze but was lost almost immediately. Reports claim that there has been a Thresher Maw attack. I’m awaiting confirmation of the situation as we speak but as they are unconfirmed, no-one has been notified as of yet.” Anderson passed Jane a datapad displaying all of the reports and data on the incident.  
“My mother could be-“ a knock on the door cut her sob short and Ambassador Udina entered the office. He regarded Jane with a less than forthcoming glance.  
“Shepard,” he greeted her. Jane suddenly found the floor extremely interesting. It was Udina that had her dismissed from service, deeming her mentally unstable and for committing gross misconduct due to her relationship with Nihlus. Alliance regulations were implicit that no fraternisation was permitted onboard their vessels but Nihlus, being a Spectre managed to keep the gross misconduct from her records.  
“Udina,” Anderson greeted also, vying for his attention.  
“The reports are accurate, Akuze has gone dark. The Council are arranging for a Spectre to investigate the incident in the next few cycles.We want to know why this was allowed to happen.” Udina left before Anderson had tome to respond. Jane looked at him wet eyes.  
“So he’s saying this could have been prevented?” she asked through gritted teeth.  
“Jane, I’m sorry but I don’t know anymore than Ambassador Udina has just informed me with. I can CC any reports I receive to your omnitool. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Jane nodded, her brow furrowed.  
“It’s not your fault. I should have reached out sooner, told her about us the moment we started seeing eachother… I-“ Chellick cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked with his thumb.  
“Jane, this isn’t your fault. Let me take you home,” he helped her stand and let Anderson hug her mournfully.  
“My door is always open to you Jane, same for you Chellick. Anything you need, just holler.” Jane sobbed the entire journey back to the Bachjret Ward. 

Jane was speechless, the air around her felt tight, like jumping through a Relay and being propelled to another system. Her head swam, thoughts were sporadic and she barely responded when Chellick spoke to her. She felt like a husk and had sat for the entire day cycle just staring out onto the Ward which was coming alive with the nightlife. Meanwhile, Chellick had become restless. He wanted to know more about her and Nihlus why she hadn’t been honest in the first place. Being a Turian his curiosity got the better of him after much deliberating and pacing back and forth.  
“Why didn’t you tell me about Nihlus?” he asked as he sat at the table with her and gazed himself out at the Ward. Jane didn’t respond, she just sighed deeply.  
“Are you still seeing him?” Jane’s head snapped in his direction, her eyes red from crying. A pang of guilt struck deep in Chellick’s core but he needed to know what was going on in Jane’s head.  
“What do you take me for Decian?” she gasped before looking back to the window. Chellick sighed.  
“Nothing, I just want to know why you weren’t honest with me,” Chellick had begun to purr, hoping it would help calm her but it seemed his probing was doing more harm than his purring could compensate for.  
“I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t remember,” Jane snarled at him.  
“You didn’t remember an entire relationship?” Chellick repeated, rapping his talons against the table-top. Jane looked at her knees and shook her head.  
“I don’t understand Jane, it doesn’t add up-“  
“You don’t have to go all detective over it Decian! We both suffered sporadic memory loss from what happened on Eden Prime. We would forget one another randomly… I didn’t recognise him when I helped you on your case... that’s just the way it is…” Jane felt ashamed of admitting her story but nothing would change the facts.  
“And what of when you do recognise one another?” Chellick asked. Jane scoffed and looked at him.  
“What are you suggesting? I have just found out my mother has been killed in an incident that apparently could have been avoided and you’re honestly interrogating me over a past relationship that lasted barely two weeks?!” Jane stood and pushed her chair under the table a little too hard, startling the Turian sat opposite. She stormed towards the door.  
“Jane wait, where are you going?!” Chellick called after her.  
“Out and don’t follow me.” The door hissed shut and Decian sat to ease the tension in his temples. 

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]]  
Re: No Subject  
_Are you free to meet? I’ve had some bad news and I just want to be anywhere other than home._

Nihlus Kryik [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: Re  
_Jane, I’m at my last event, I can send you the co-ordinates for you to meet me? The atmosphere should liven you up._

Jane Shepard [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re:Re  
_I appreciate it, send me the co-ordinates_

Jane’s heart was pounding and her body had begun to sweat. Rather than arranging for some transport to reach Nihlus, she had opted to trek through the Wards and into the myriad of Maintenance Levels that were situated below. She found the highlighted location easily but spotted a very muscular Turian guarding the entrance, surprisingly, he waved her forwards.  
“Boss said he was expecting you, welcome,” he bowed his head politely, swiping a keycard to unlock the door.  
Jane was met by blaring music, heavy bass that rumbled through her body and mumbled lyrics that hid a dark undertone. The environment overwhelmed her thoughts and completely possessed her. The scent of alcohol and arousal assaulted her as she scoured the room for Nihlus. There were mainly Turians and Asari here, few humans and a lot of Volus receiving private dances from Asari consorts. Scantily clad females posing as waitresses carried trays with lines of Red Sand, obviously samples for the customers and after the events that had transpired over the course of the day, Jane felt the calmest she had been.  
“Jane!” came a voice somewhere ahead of her. Jane found Nihlus waiting for her in the doorway to the VIP area. He took her hand and pressed it to his mouthplates delicately.  
“Thank you for letting me come here, Nihlus, I just didn’t know who else to go to and Decian… was nagging about things that aren’t important…” Jane’s emotions came through strong and she began to sob, leaning into the Turian..  
“Hey, hey, no need to get upset,” Nihlus began, wrapping an arm around her and gripping her chin with his other to face him.  
“Tell me what has happened and I will endeavour to serve your needs.” He allowed her to sit and interlaced his fingers, leaning his chin on them as he waited for Jane to begin her story. Her breath was shaky and she rubbed her thighs as they sat to try and comfort herself.  
“I just found out my mother was killed.” Nihlus’ eyes widened and he released a low keen that Jane would hear. He didn’t respond but instead waited for her to continue if she wished.  
“Apparently there was a Thesher Maw attack on Akuze and Ambassador Udina seems to think it could have been avoided.” Jane was fighting a lump in her throat that made her voice take an odd pitch. Nihlus found her vulnerability too much to resist and stroked her cheek, letting his thumb run over her bottom lip. Jane looked him in the eye with her own wet ones and smiled breathily.  
“Chellick found out you and I were an item during Eden Prime.”  
“You told him?” Nihlus asked calmly to which Jane shook her head.  
“No, Anderson let it slip, Decian and I…” Jane stopped herself as she thought of her time with Nihlus. He tilted his head for her to finish.  
“I wanted Anderson to permit communication with my mother so I could introduce her to Chellick. We were going to officially bond…” Jane felt like she had just stamped all over Nihlus but his mandibles flexed into a smile.  
“Jane, I am happy for you, he is a good man and loves you dearly. His scent is strong on you. But do not get upset, after what happened with the beacon, I don’t think it would have been healthy for you and I to continue our relationship. I do love you but we often forgot one another, that wouldn’t be good in cohabitation now would it?” he chuckled and smiled as Jane seemed to stop crying.  
“I feel like I’ve missed out on so much with my mother… I should have reached out sooner, should have told her all of the things I’d done with myself… meeting Decian…” Nihlus was about to respond but an Asari waitress entered the lounge with a tray of Red Sand. 

 

“Sir, would your guest like to try our product?” she purred, she was wearing a low cut dress that accentuated her full breasts, blue legs on show and her markings were beautiful. How anyone refused was beyond Jane but tonight, she had her reasons.  
“No she would-“ Nihlus snapped but Jane cut in.  
“I would love to try.” The Turian glared at her with his piercing emerald eyes.  
“Jane, what are you doing?” he snarled.  
“I want to try your product,” she hissed through gritted teeth.  
“I won’t let you,” Nihlus folded his arms, the waitress didn’t know whether to leave or stay.  
“Oh I’m sorry, you’re refusing to help the woman who has evidence of your practises and is also very intimate with the Detective that was investigating you?” Jane had trumped him, although she would never submit him like that ever, he wasn’t going to refuse that tone of voice. He sighed in defeat.  
“Fine,” he reached and took the tray from the Asari and sent her away. He wet a finger with his rough tongue and pressed it into the powder which now stuck to the digit. He pressed it to Jane’s lips and gestured for her to taste it. Jane wrapped her lips around his finger and sucked off the powder, letting it sit on her tongue for a moment. It wasn’t what she was expecting. It was relatively sweet but with a strange undertone sterile chemicals, not entirely unpleasant. She clicked her tongue and Nihlus nodded, satisfied with her reaction. 

“Jane, I’m insisting that this is a one time thing because of what you’re going through. Take the line when you’re ready, one sharp inhale and continue inhaling as you lift your head,” Nihlus instructed. Jane pressed one side of her nose tight and leaned forward, hovering just an inch from the reddish line on the tray. She inhaled and twitched her nose as the powder itched, tickling her cilia hairs.  
“Tip your head back and inhale hard,” Nihlus instructed again, his gaze intense. Jane did as he said and when she felt her nasal passage clear, she brought her head back down and let the euphoria take over her senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NShTPAlRy4k


	11. An End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chellick is less than pleased when he discovers what Jane has done but it is left to Nihlus to contact an old friend in the hopes he can find her before she gets hurt.

_'cause when you least expect it,  
waiting round the corner for you'_

Every nerve in Jane's body tingled and left her feeling pleasantly warm inside, the room was distorted and she couldn't even begin to comprehend the sounds of the music, the lyrics seemed to wash over her and the voices of attendees just sounded like a low rumble. Her mind was tantalised and she felt the sudden urge to take more Red Sand just to sustain the euphoria that was claiming her body. Nihlus sat back in his seat, his arms folded casually across his chest whilst his legs were slightly spaced. He sat like this many a time on the Normandy, it usually ended with Jane between them on her knees. He purred at the thought and Jane looked at him with glazed eyes and a smile touching the corners of her lips. She stood and slowly walked up to him, spreading his legs further apart with her own before getting onto her knees. Her lips had turned matte and her glistening tongue ran over them again, leaving them full, wet and a plush pink. Nihlus felt his plates shift but gripped a fistful of hair when she went to undo the clasps of his armour.  
"Jane, don't," his voice was assertive but Jane just giggled and rose to her feet. Nihlus breathed a sigh of relief but tensed up when she straddled him instead, running her lips over the hide of his neck, a hand reaching to stroke beneath his fringe. He rumbled in appreciation but pulled her head back again.  
"Jane, don't do this," his eyes were firm on hers and she found him suddenly irresistible, leaning forward in an attempt to capture his mouthplates with her lips. He dodged her attempt and clasped his teeth around her neck, holding her in place until she calmed down.  
"Jane, listen to me, you need to just relax and enjoy the ride you're having but that ride isn't on me I'm afraid," Jane's heart was pounding as adrenaline coursed through her veins, her mind just wasn't analysing the information it was receiving. She knew he was rejecting her advances but that was about all. She stood and walked out of the lounge, ducking and diving haphazardly through the sea of intoxicated guests. The door hissed open and a wave of cool air hit her so hard she thought she was flying. She smiled a gleaming smile as a sense of liberation and freedom took over. The door hadn't shut behind her and she could hear Nihlus shouting after her. She ran through the Maintenance tunnels until she could no longer hear him. Her head was swimming, she felt woozy. Unsteady on her feet. Sick. Amazing – all at the same time. Her feet seemed to move in random directions, she had no clue where she was headed or where she had come from. A weird knot sat in her stomach over how Nihlus rejected her, she wanted him but she loved Decian... but he was too pressing.

 

She somehow ended up on a familiar Ward and was met with a lot of concerned glances from civilians who had obviously never seem a grieving human before. Out of the corner of her eye she saw what reminded her of a rainbow, like the ones on Earth only the colours merged and danced across her vision. It was a beautiful path to take but there was a voice in her head shouting her name. Wait, it couldn't be her voice, it was male. Her shoulders sank and she rolled her eyes as she turned, expecting to see Nihlus but she was shocked to find it wasn't him... not that she could convey any emotion other than utter bewilderment. She almost tripped on her feet as she turned but familiar, strong arms grabbed her before she fell.  
"Jane, where have you been? I've been going out of my mind!" Chellick growled angrily as he scented her heavily. He looked at her questioningly.  
"What have you been doing? You can't even stand straight... why can I smell Red Sand? Jane?" He was throwing questions at her left, right and centre and she stumbled in each of those ways as her head swam. She pushed his arms off of her.  
"I went to Nihlus," she huffed. Chellick's arms dropped to his side and his mandibles hugged his jaw tightly.  
"You went to _him_? Why?" His voice was accusing but he continued to scent her, the Red Sand was obviously bothering him.  
"Hm, I did," she mumbled. Chellick growled at her lack of responsibility. He grabbed her by her upper arms and drove her into the nearest wall, her back hitting it with a bruising force. He practically roared in her face, his teeth glistening in the light of the neon shower.  
"You will tell me now Jane Shepard what you were doing with that Turian and you will also tell me why the hell you stink of Red Sand and are falling all over the place like an Asari whore!" Jane wrenched her arm from his grasp and went to slap him. He deflected it effortlessly, she was too predictable in this state.  
"Get off me!" She grunted as she squirmed in his grasp.  
"You will tell me now human!" Jane froze, he called her human... he actually called her out as her species rather than his bondmate.  
"He gave it to me," she managed through teeth that clenched to negate the pain of his grasp. His brow plate flexed and he showed his teeth then drew back an arm that smacked across her face. Jane just about noticed a strange tearing sound and then saw that he wasn't wearing his gloves. He had just cut her with his talons. Her head pounded with the force that sent her to the floor. Chellick was breathing hard but his posture had slackened with the realisation of what he'd just done to his mate. She scrambled onto her feet and fled, some tears slipping down her cheek that felt ice cold from the breeze that hit her as she ran. Chellick hadn't followed, he knew better. 

Amongst the hustle and bustle of the event, Nihlus had trundled back to the VIP lounge of his little swarray , taking a hefty swig of Turian brandy that lined his gullet pleasantly. He had lost Jane in the tunnels but knew of someone who would undoubtedly be able to track her. He brought up his omnitool and typed out a message. 

Nihlus Kryik [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: URGENT  
_I need your help now, a friend of mine is possibly in danger and I need her finding ASAP_

Encypted [RESTRICTED]  
Re: URGENT  
_A female. Another one of your conquests? What did you do this time?_

Nihlus Kryik [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: URGENT  
_This isn't a time for jokes. It's Shepard. The human I was evaluating for Spectre candidacy._

Encypted [RESTRICTED]  
Re: URGENT  
_Shepard?_

Nihlus Kryik [PRIVATE OMNITOOL]  
Re: URGENT  
_Now please would you find her? You owe me for saving your bony ass on our last shakedown mission anyway, I'll throw in some credits for your next shopping impulse, how about that?_

Encypted [RESTRICTED]  
Re: URGENT  
_I suppose I can be generous just this once. Send me her details._

Nihlus sent Jane's omnitool ID and a description of her, he also sent a holo they had taken back on the Normandy, she was so happy, in service, had a great, reliable team, was being evaluated for Spectre candidacy and was in a relationship with Nihlus. He just hoped his old mentor would find her in time.  
Jane had no idea where she was and the streets seemed to get darker and emptier, each sound was more noticeable and every now and then she had to stop to let her surroundings stop spinning. She felt weak and hot, a sheen of sweat sitting on her skin. Her heart started racing uncontrollably and she found her knees becoming weaker and weaker as she slowly fell to the ground, her body shutting down from its uncharacteristic high. She drifted in and out of consciousness but heard confident footsteps striding towards her. They stopped and there was only a second of silence before she felt strong arms lift her, what felt like unclipped talons gripped on her skin slightly as she was cradled in a Turian's arms. She came to again and looked up to see a Turian, older than Chellick, ivory plates, no colony markings. He rumbled deeply as he carried her to who knows where. She started to get tunnel vision just as he looked at her and she fell unconscious again, the last things she saw were his ice-blue eyes. 

 

 **Presidium Residency, 1st April 2177**

Jane's eyes opened just enough to let in a stream of blinding light that glared at her, they snapped shut immediately and she groaned uncomfortably. It was a few more minutes before she dared to attempt opening her eyes again but it was much less of a shock the second time. She stared at the room that looked sideways in front of her as she lay on her side in a bed that was much more comfortable than Chellick's. She was covered in a thin, satin-like sheet but something was radiating heat so she didn't mind the slight chill in the air. The blinds were open and she could see that she was somewhere in the Presidium. 'The Presidium is where Government and Council officials reside' Jane thought to herself but she didn't linger on the thought. She began to think of the night before and how awful she now felt. She'd lost her mother, taken Red Sand from her ex-lover and then proceeded to hit on him, fallen out and physically fought with her bondmate and now, she had no idea where she was. Her head was pounding and her body felt like it had just been through an orbital drop and hit something on the way down but the discomfort was swiftly forgotten when something stirred behind her then began purring. She rolled over to find her eyes roaming over a half-naked Turian. The Turian that had found her in the alley to be more precise. There was a sudden lump in her throat as she assumed the worst had happened and that she'd cheated on Chellick but she didn't feel like anything had happened and she could recall the events of the night relatively clearly...  
"I must admit, I can understand why Nihlus was drawn to you, your waist is... exquisite for a member of your species however, you are causing me great inconvenience at this moment in time," as soon as he said inconvenience, Jane averted her eyes as she realised she'd been staring at his scars that marred his upper body. He was in fine shape for an older Turian.  
"How do you know Nihlus?" She croaked, sleep still claiming her body. Saren shifted so he was a little more comfortable before answering.  
"I was his mentor, it was I who trained him to become a Spectre," Jane gasped quietly but thankfully he didn't hear it.  
"You're Saren Arterius?!" He nodded once.  
"He told me about you before he joined you on your Alliance ship, you were to become a Spectre. The first human Spectre," Saren seemed to be fully aware of who Jane was and it unnerved her slightly, Saren sensed her trepidation.  
"Nihlus was concerned for you after you decided to go for a little walk last night and asked me to track you down. And here you are," Saren stretched out an arm as if presenting his apartment to her. Jane felt a little sheepish that the longest serving Spectre had been called after her.  
"I'm sorry..." She mumbled. Saren clicked his mandibles.  
"I don't need apologies, everyone has their breaking point, even myself..." He didn't mention any more on the subject and Jane didn't pry.  
"I really appreciate you finding me but I really need to get back home," Jane sat up and Saren threw his legs over the edge of the bed before walking around to Jane. He took her jaw in his hand and turned her head to the side. He hummed.  
"You are hurt," he said dryly, disappearing into the bathroom and returning with a sachet of medigel. He tore open the pack with a mandible and gently applied it to the cut and the surrounding red skin.  
"This looks like a wound from a Turian," he stated. He was obviously well versed in Turian CQC being a Spectre and the fact his own unclipped talons threatened to scratch her skin everytime he touched her. Jane's expression saddened as she thought back her argument with Chellick. On cue, Saren's gaze switched to her bondmark.  
"You are bonded?" Jane nodded without making eye contact.  
"We had an argument about what happened and he hit me, I don't think he meant to do it but I ran away anyway," Saren scoffed but to Jane it sounded like a deep snarl.  
" Why did you do it?" He asked. Jane paused to collect her thoughts, rewinding all the way back to her meeting with Anderson.  
"We were going to meet Admiral Anderson so he could try and make contact with my mother... we wanted to officially bond but he said that there were reports of a Thresher Maw attack on Akuze... Ambassador Udina confirmed them. But all Decian was bothered about was the fact that Nihlus and I had been together once. He couldn't understand what happened with the beacon. What happened to me and Nihlus... anyway, I left and went to Nihlus where I took Red Sand." Saren rested a hand on his chin as he considered Jane's story.  
"So how did you end up down an alleyway with Nihlus in a blind panic?" Jane sighed with embarrassment.  
"I hit on him after I took the line and he turned me down..." Saren laughed heartily.  
"Spirits, you humans are so sensitive. Anyway, this may interest you but I am the Spectre who will be investigating the attack on Akuze. I will return with the information you need." And with that they dressed in silence. Jane was fixing her hair back when there was a knock at the door and she heard a friendly voice.  
"Jane, are you ready to go home?" Jane smiled and nodded, taking Nihlus' arm and thanking Saren for helping her. He even gave her a credit chit to go and buy breakfast. 

**Bachjret Ward, 1st April 2177**

 

It was an hour so before Jane and Nihlus arrived at the Bachjret Ward where she and Chellick lived. They were stood in the elevator, making their way up to the 11th floor, Jane was shaking with the fear of what Chellick was going to do or say. They reached the door but jane froze as she was about to knock so Nihlus did it for her. The hissed open to reveal a very tired looking Decian.  
"Jane!" He cried, his subharmonics rumbling with relief which Nihlus took a step back to give them some space. Chellick released Jane and pointed at the dark plated Turian stood outside of the threshold.  
"I'm putting a restraining order on you! If you ever come near my mate again... well, let's just hope it isn't me who gets to you," the door shut and Nihlus continued with his daily business, silently hoping that Jane would get the outcome she wanted.  
"Decian, I'm sorry for what I did but you were just so wrapped up with Nihlus, I didn't want to go reliving my past, the one that ruined my career when my mother has just been killed! Decian, are you-" Jane cut off as Chellick began scenting her. He growled and gripped her by the arms again.  
"You smell like another Turian," he snarled, teeth showing.  
"Decian, I never-"  
"Don't lie to me!" He roared and it spurred tears to fall that Jane had been holding back.  
"Decian, I swear I didn't do anything, he found me in the street and took me home, I collapsed!"  
"Why not take you to Huerta Memorial Hospital then?"  
"I don't know, I just remember blacking out, then waking up on the Presidium!"  
"Who is he Jane?" Chellick growled in her face.  
"Decian, I'm not having an affair!"  
"Who is he?! Do not make me repeat myself!"  
"Saren Arterius! It was Saren Arterius. Nihlus contacted him when I went missing and asked Saren to find me, he took me back to his apartment on the Presidium and let me sleep. Nihlus came to pick me up this morning and brought me straight here. Nothing happened Decian. Spirits, the most that happened is he gave me some money to get some breakfast." Jane's face was wet from the tears that fell, her eyes red and sore and her voice a wavering pitch as she battled with the lump in her throat.  
"You mean that's his payment for your services? Get out." Jane's heart felt like it had just been stamped on by a Krogan. She just stood, unable to move.  
"I said. Get out. I don't want someone who can't be honest, who goes and gets off her face and ends up in another Turian's bed. I don't want you to come here again."  
"I never cheated on you Decian," she whispered as she left the apartment, sniffling as tears fell heavily. 

 

The door hissed open in the Presidium Residential complex and a very surprised Spectre leant against the frame.  
"I wasn't expecting to see you here again, you've been doing that human thing – crying," Jane nodded, for some reason, she enjoyed his dryness.  
"You said you were going to Akuze?"  
"Indeed."  
"Let me come with you, I was a good Commander, if it wasn't for Udina, I would still be serving to this day. I want to know who let this attack happen." Saren pondered her request before stepping to the side and letting her in.  
"I suppose you could be of use to me," he purred. Jane felt a rush of excitement in light of her imminent travels. A new chapter in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHaA1beOwrY


	12. Something In Common

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane makes her preparations to board Saren's ship only, as the first cycle draws to a close, some unwelcome feelings are stirred in Saren and he does his best to suppress them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early posting as I'm going to be away for a few days, don't really want to go because take pictures of the same bloody things! Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'm looking forward to really exploring Saren now :)
> 
> Email me: kittie.valentine@yahoo.com

_'Oh these times are hard,  
yeah they're making us crazy,  
don't give up on me baby_

**Presidium, 1st April 2177**

As Jane waits in the lounge of Saren's now familiar apartment, he begins to gather his belongings such as undersuits, casual wear, armour, mods, weapons and medical supplies in preparation for boarding his ship. He can sense jane watching him and sighs, standing up to his full height like a true, ferocious leader.  
"In standard circumstances, I would normally travel and execute my missions solo. My own ship has a VI which would maintain my systems etc. As this mission seems of great importance to the Council and it is considered a high danger, I have been advised to take a full team and a new ship." Saren's voice is clear and leaves no room for repetition, Jane nods in understanding.  
I am a Spectre and I prioritise the mission, if anyone on the field becomes injured or puts themselves into harm's way, that is their prerogative, I will not be there to assist. I am the Commander and you are my subordinate, you will address me as Spectre or Sir although I find Spectre more pleasing."  
"What about Levo supplies? A small quantity would only be required as I'm assuming I'm the only human onboard?" Jane asks but Saren simply gathers his belongings in a secure crate and ushers her to the door.  
"You will meet me at the Council Chambers in exactly 3 hours. We will be briefed by the Council, we'll more than likely have reporters to contend with due to how sensitive this incident is or was should I say?" Jane's expression saddens for no more than a second before she nods in acceptance.  
"Yes Spectre," they leave the complex together before going in their separate directions. Saren can't help but feel smug at the way his title sounded coming from her mouth. It was... satisfying. 

Using the credit chit that Saren had originally given her for breakfast the day she had woken up in his apartment, she hailed a Skycar to take her back to the Bachjret Ward, knowing that Decian would be working, she knew now was a good time to collect her old armour. The lights were off and there was no answer to her call. It was unusually cold and it looked as if nothing had been used. She went to the bedroom and noticed that the bed hadn't been slept in but her 'nest' had. An odd feeling settled in Jane's stomach but she continued to gather a few items of clothing that she knew would suffice during the mission. It took her no more than 20 minutes to straighten the few odds and ends lying around and she was about to leave when she saw a datapad on the side. If Decian wouldn't listen to her then she would at least put her words into writing in the hope that he would read them enough and maybe one day believe her. 

_Decian,_

_I don't really know where to begin. I don't even know how I managed to give you the impression that I would ever be unfaithful to you. If anything is for certain it's that I owe you an apology. More than one actually. I'm sorry. I guess this all went wrong after I saw Nihlus at the Café Zakera. The day you asked me to move in with you. I didn't realise it was him at the time, I just knew I'd seen his face and it turned out he was the suspect in our case. What happened on Eden Prime ruined what Nihlus and I had. We would randomly lose our memories. Not recognise eachother or not remember what happened with the beacon.... if you are still sceptical about that, just go see Admiral Anderson again. But Nihlus, he isn't a bad Turian. He may be on the wrong path but he tries to do right by others and that's exactly what he did for me only I blackmailed him with the evidence I have sat on my omnitool._

_Finding out that my mother had died and that it could have been prevented, it just destroyed me. Your species doesn't have the same relationship structure that humans do with their family. I wanted to introduce you to her so we could officially bond. I was so excited at the prospect of you and I being accepted. The thing that hurt me the most was that I was grieving and all you could do was question me about my past with Nihlus. You only showed sympathy in front of the Admiral. So, I went to Nihlus because I knew he wouldn't say no. I blackmailed him into letting me take Red Sand and for a brief moment I felt good. I forgot that my mother was gone, that you had angered and hurt me. My cheek is still healing from where you took a swing at me... Nihlus had contacted Saren and asked for him to find me. Saren was Nihlus' mentor before he became a Spectre. I would never be unfaithful to you. It was late and I had blacked out so how was the Spectre supposed to deduce where I lived? He took me to his apartment, let me sleep and waited for Nihlus to pick me up and bring me home but you carried on. You accused me of whoring myself. How could you?_

_I'm leaving for Akuze this cycle with the Spectre and his team. I want to get back out in the field and find out what happened to my mother. I owe her as much for never really trying to get in touch. I'm sorry you can't believe me, I find it so surreal to think that you have left me and that I wear your mark but I am no longer yours. It's quite a confusing situation to be in. I really hope that life treats you well and that maybe one day you can forgive me and we can perhaps be civil._

_Goodbye Decian_

Saren was waiting outside the Embassy Hall with his arms folded across his chest, he spotted Jane who was fully geared up in her old N7 armour. He greeted her with a curt nod which she returned and they both approached the podium together to receive their briefing. There was a small audience who had gathered to watch the briefing and to keep up to date with the development of the investigation. Amongst that crowd were Chellick, Nihlus and Anderson. The holos of the Council appeared before them and the meeting began.  
"Spectre Arterius and Jane Shepard, you have both been assigned the investigation of the Thresher Maw attack on the human colony that was stationed at Akuze. Reports state that a distress beacon was set up but immediately dropped. No contact was established and we do not know if there are any survivors," the Turian Councillor began. His Asari counterpart stepped forward.  
"You have been granted access to the Laruam and will travel to the outskirts of Systems Alliance space where Akuze is located. Your primary objective is to investigate what happened and why. Survivors will need to be extracted and brought here to the Citadel where they will be processed and receive any necessary treatment but this is not the priority." The Councillors turned to Jane.  
"Shepard, your mother, Hannah Shepard is one of the humans on this colony planet. Will your emotions impact the mission?" The Turian Councillor sneered but his mandibles hugged his face when Jane returned the sneer.  
"If I could just cast your minds back to 2173 when I was stationed onboard the SSV Normandy under the command of Admiral Anderson, I do believe Spectre Nihlus Kryik was there to evaluate me for Spectre candidacy, which says to me that I am perfectly capable of completing a mission Councillor." Saren's mandibles flared in a wide smile and his shoulders shook slightly as he chuckled to himself.  
"Saren, we have discussed your partnership with Shepard at length and we are slightly concerned with regards to your opinions of the human species. What has changed your mind?" The Council's gaze now turned to the Turian stood next to jane but he did not flinch.  
"I believe that this may be the most appropriate opportunity to demonstrate a development in the relationship between Humans and Turians. A Human colony goes dark and in response, a team including a still potential Human Spectre and a Turian Spectre are at the forefront of the investigation. The image would do wonders for the Citadel don't you think?" Saren's tone was almost condescending and he even had the audacity to look over his shoulder and sneer at Anderson. Jane eyed each Councillor to gauge their reaction. They all nodded in unison.  
"Then it is agreed. Spectre Arterius and Commander Shepard, you have been tasked with the investigation of the incident which occurred on the Human colony planet Akuze. We expect a full report upon your return. Good luck." The Council faded from sight and Saren was the first to leave the podium but not before gripping Jane's wrist and pulling her along into the sea of reporters that threatened to overwhelm them. At the front was Khalisah al-Jilani who had barged her way through the crowd.  
"Spectre Arterius, who's idea was it to partner you with a human for this mission?"  
"I did," he answered dryly and she turned to Jane.  
"Commander Shepard, it is common knowledge that you bear a bondmark. How will you and your mate cope with the seperation and the possible dangers you face with working alongside Spectre Arterius?" Jane's face dropped slightly. She certainly wasn't expecting to be asked about Decian. Thankfully, Saren noticed her hesitation and made a quip.  
"I'm not that dangerous," he smirked, casting a glance to Chellick who looked as if he carried the weight of Palaven on his shoulders.  
"I uhm... my partner and I mutually seperated recently. We are no longer bonded so the risks I am about to face are my responsibilty and mine only. Thank you," Jane and Saren pushed through the reporters and civilians to make their way to the docking bay that the Laruam was stationed at. The air was cool and welcome to the pair as they approached the ship. The engines were already running which indicated that saren's team were ready to depart. They were surprised to see Nihlus stood waiting for them.  
"Nihlus," Saren greeted him before entering the ship's decontamination air lock without another word. Nihlus looked to Jane who smiled sweetly and looked anywhere but his face.  
"Promise me you won't go upsetting any more beacons," the young Turian joked and they both giggled like they were back on the Normandy.  
"You look good being back in your armour. I'm proud of you just... just be careful. If Saren really allowed you to join him, I think you'll be in safe hands."  
"Thank you Nihlus and I'm sorry for everything, I-" Nihlus pressed the pad of a finger to her lips and shushed her like a small child.  
"None of that, you owe me nothing other than coming back alive, now go, don't piss him off whatever you do!" The doors closed behind Jane and the cold air of the decontamination process hissed around her, tickling her skin before the next doors slid open to reveal the central navigation system. 

**Laruam, 1st April 2177**

The space wasn't too lit and the blues and purples of the Galaxy Map reflected on Saren's face to reveal his age. He looked almost magestic, in complete control and in a state of concentration. A few of the crew members had thrown a few glances across at Jane but other than that, a tense silence sat in the ship. Jane stood and waited patiently for Saren to address her. It was a good few minutes before he finally acknowledged her and ordered his crew to stand before them, one by one, the Spectre introduced them and they all cast a glance at Jane's bond mark which still stood out as if it was fresh. One particular Turian with beautiful colony markings had the audacity to linger behind after they had been dismissed, thinking that Saren's back was turned. He purred and tried to nuzzle his face in Jane's hair but Saren heard her try to shoo him away. He immediately left the console he was working at and in a few strides, he grabbed the Turian by the neck and forced him brutally against the nearest wall. He lifted the crew member in the air, his feet desperately seeking purchase and his breathing heavily restricted.  
"Fraternisation rules may be relaxed on other ships but not on mine. Is that understood?" Saren's eyes were intense and the younger Turian only managed to gurgle and answer. Saren growled.  
"I didn't quite hear that, you'll have to speak up."  
"Y-Yes S-Spectre!" The Turian forced out and he was instantly dropped to the floor. Saren stomped down the hall and called for the elvator, shouting Jane over to him. The journey in the elevator and down to the living quarters was made in silence until they reached a cabin that looked very Human.  
"This is your cabin, I trust you will find it is suitable for your requirements. Levo food is in the Mess Hall labelled appropriately, I would advise that you see our Medic to take allergy supplements. Now, it seems that this little mark has already started causing trouble," Saren let a finger run along the bumps of her bondmark and it stirred something primal inside him that he cared not to identify.  
"I would advise you use my private shower, I dread to think how many crew members I would need to reprimand if you showered in the communal space." Saren lead Jane into the bowels of the ship until they reached his cabin. It was almost as big as his apartment on the Presidium and Jane stood in awe as Saren showed her to his shower.  
"You are free to familiarise yourself for the remainder of this cycle but I expect you to be ready for duty next cycle and report to me first thing,"  
"Yes Spectre," Jane nodded before leaving to return to her cabin and unpack her belongings. 

It only took her a few minutes to fold her clothes away and ensure that her weapons were locked to her and safely put away in the storage crates. The ship was much hotter than the Normandy with Turians having a much higher core body temperature and she had quickly worked up an uncomfortable sweat. After getting lost only once, Jane finally made her way to Saren's cabin and found that it was empty, even though he had given her permission to use his shower, she still couldn't help but think how awkward it would be to shower with him in the room. Her reservations quickly left her mind as the hot water pelted her firm body and the steam took over the room, mixing with the sweet scent of her lotion. The suds felt like heaven and after thinking of the mission ahead, Jane knew this was likely the last good opportunity to take a decent shower. The door hissed open but the running shower concealed this and Saren strolled in, freezing on the spot when he realised it was Jane but she hadn't noticed his presence. He quickly averted his eyes but his mind was already comparing her body to the ones he'd seen on vids and he found his thoughts drifting to her waist. _Spirits_ he thought to himself and hastily left, trying to put images of Jane to the back of his mind. He was a Spectre and he only accepted Jane on this mission for his own public image. It would certainly change the public's opinion of him being a corrupt, human-hater. 

Jane had come out of the shower hot and refreshed, her body tingling and peachy from the heat. She quickly dressed in her slacks and returned to her cabin to check through her terminal. Her inbox was full of junk and messages of luck on the mission but one stood out the most. It was from Decian. 

Decian Chellick [PRIVATE TERMINAL]  
Re:  
_Jane, I read your note and... I believe you but, I still can't forget that you gave him his freedom, continued to see him behind my back and then instead of letting me – your mate, support you, you went to him and used him for what he really is – a drug dealer. I'm disappointed. He avoided arrest because you lied and Turians don't lie. But seeing you leave with the Spectre as a Commander, it made me see that you are much happier out there than stuck on a station with me. Because of this, I have terminated your contract at this station. I have loved having you as mine but I think our time is up now. I wish you all of the luck in the galaxy and I hope you find what you are looking for. I love you Jane but I'm not what you need._

The tears Jane hadn't realised she was holding back began to fall, wetting her cheeks and reddening her eyes. She sobbed hard and it hurt her face to cry so hard but she'd hidden behind her bravado and it had caught up with her. Suddenly, being the only Human aboard a Turian ship, she felt extremely lonely and the minutes felt like hours as exhaustion started to filter through her body.  
"Jane?" A voice startled her and when she saw it was Saren, she hurriedly wiped at her eyes and stood to greet him.  
"Spectre," Saren dismissed her with the wave of a hand.  
"What is wrong?" He asks quietly and his gaze followed Jane when she pointed to the message on the terminal.  
"Ah, your mate?" He confirms, Jane nodded sadly.  
"Yes, well, ex-mate now," Jane did her best not to say too much and potentially embarrass herself in front of her superior. Saren gestured for her to sit on the edge of the bed with him  
"Tell me what happened," Saren's subharmonics were rumbling as a way of comforting her and it even felt alien to him, he normally supressed them which made him extremely untrustworthy.  
"It's just... he terminated my contract at C-SEC and... I just feel like I've lost this substantial part of my life. We're bonded but we aren't together, this is just a clash of culture that I'm struggling with," a stray tear fell and Saren watched it from the point of leaving her eye to dropping from her jaw and landing on her hand.  
"I lost someone important to me when I was young," Saren said plainly and it was clear that Jane's attention was on him only.  
"Who?" She asked through her tears.  
"Desolas. My brother." Jane's face was sweet with sympathy and Saren appreciated it.  
"Was it the Relay incident?" Jane asked.  
"I wish it was but no. He... fell onto the wrong path. Was brainwashed and manipulated by the wrong people. He was indoctrinated and I almost fell for his words and preachings."  
"What happened?" Saren had never told anyone the truth before. He wondered if the Human expression was true: a problem shared is a problem halved.  
"I killed him." Jane gasped inwardly.  
"I killed him, along with his followers. The day I lost my brother was the day I lost my clan." Jane scanned his face and realised this was why he was barefaced.  
"But being barefaced makes you untrustworthy in the eyes of your kind, why would you willingly inflict that upon yourself?" Saren was taken aback by Jane's concern and he suddenly felt content discussing the matter rather than returning to his duties.  
"The Arterius clan was disgraced because of my brother's actions. I refuse to be associated with what he did. I am an individual. I am a Spectre. I work alone and I always will be alone." The words stung when said aloud. He looked at Jane's bondmark and a selfish thought popped into his head and immediately left. To remove the bondmark and replace it with his own. A bonding brought on by the Council's initiative to put Human and Turian together. Commander Shepard and Spectre Arterius.  
"I know a treatment that can reduce the appearance of the mark, if you are interested in having it removed?" Saren waited patiently for an answer as Jane weighed up her options.  
"I'd like to try it, should I see the Medic?" She asked hopefully. Saren shook his head.  
"No, I can do it myself but it is painful, it's similar to rubbing salt on a wound." Jane gulped at the thought and waited as Saren mixed a sachet of Medigel with another gel. 

Whatever was in the sachet, it was radiating heat like something overcooked in a microwave, it was practically molten and it concerned Jane so much that she backed away with each step Saren took towards her. He couldn't help but chuckle.  
"Do not worry, it will only hurt on the mark, perhaps you should bite down on something," they looked around the room but found nothing suitable for Jane to clamp her teeth onto and those pillows were just preposterous. He offered his hand.  
"Bite down on my hand, our plates are thick, I'll hardly feel it." Jane looked at him questioningly but complied, wrapping her teeth around his hand in preparation. He gently tipped the contents onto her neck and she instantly clamped down on him with a grimace. He growled in response but continued to massage the mixture into her mark, trying not to focus on the periodical flexing of her jaw on his hand. He could have sworn he felt his plates shift a little and he inadvertently purred in a way similar to Chellick not realising that Jane recognised the sound as an intimate one. They stared at eachother for what felt like an eternity before gravity pulled them together slowly. Their faces just inches apart and about to meet when a voice announced that Saren was needed in the Comm room for a holocall. The two pulled apart and Saren stood, immediately leaving the room, leaving Jane with a burning mess on her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZQZJghFOk4


	13. The Greater Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane begins her training programe but begins to stress over the mission and her losses. Saren is there to offer her a outlet but it becomes much deeper for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a long chapter, when I re-read it, I just couldn't find anywhere I would have been happy putting a chapter break so here we are! I hope you enjoy it!

_'I am human and I need to be loved,  
just like everybody else does'_

**Laruam, 2nd April 2177**

Jane was never the kind of person to dwell on sensitive subjects but ever since her heart was involved, life just seemed to weigh her down. She just assumed that her emotions were in overdrive since her split with Decian but surprisingly, it wasn’t him that was at the forefront of her mind. She was terrified that today would result in her being reprimanded for making inappropriate advances on her superior; even though it was Saren that went to kiss her, he was the lead Commander and it would be her word against her’s. Jane hoped that she could put it down to a case of them sharing very personal accounts. Her losing her bondmate and he his brother. It was surely a misunderstanding and could be moved on from. Sleep hadn’t come to her easily since that night with Saren and it had been 4 whole cycles since she’d seen or heard from him. According to her omnitool it was a simulated morning cycle, the hours the skeleton crew worked and unfortunately, sleep wasn’t kind. She found herself lying awake, staring at the fish tank that cast an alien glow to the lines of her cabin.  
It was a good while before she decided to climb out of bed and sit at her terminal, if she was going to see Saren to receive orders then she wanted the air to be clear. She began to compose a message.

Commander Shepard [PRIVATE TERMINAL]  
Re: 01/04/2177  
_Spectre Arterius, As a guest crew member and also your subordinate, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for the inappropriate advance I made on yourself on the night of April 1st. It was completely unacceptable behaviour and the only excuse I have to offer is that it was an emotionally charged cycle, as you say often, humans are too emotionally involved and this was unfortunately the case. I have considered the incident thoroughly and accept responsibility, I would be extremely grateful if we could continue our professional relationship without any hinderance. There will not be a repeat.  
Commander Shepard_

Jane read the message over and over and over again. So many times that the words became empty and she was no longer reading but merely looking at them. She set the message as a high priority and requested that she be notified when the message was read. The send button was hit and Jane watched her best efforts at an apology vanish as fear now plagued her mind however, her heart flipped when in no time at all, her terminal chimed and she was shocked to see that Saren had read her message. Her heart pounded and all she could hear was the voice in her head telling her that she was bound to be reprimanded but a reply never came so she slumped back to bed with a little less weight on her shoulders. The bed seemed less suffocating and sleep finally claimed her, allowing her features to soften and her breathing to even.

Jane’s eyes opened to a small glimpse of the galaxy, vibrant bursts of cosmic dust and gas being delicately parted by the …. as they drifted through the system. Jane felt for the first time in a long time like she was truly home, in space. In service. She had approached Saren on whim, silently hoping he would allow her to join him on his Spectre class mission and much to her surprise, he had accepted only… he hadn’t been entirely what Jane had imagined him to be. Unlike usual, he wasn’t full of insults towards her species. He hadn’t undermined or picked fault with her every breath and he hadn’t threatened to throw her out of the airlock. There was an odd tension that Jane couldn’t identify and she refused to ponder it anymore as she decided to drag herself out of bed and dress.  
She had just zipped up her undersuit when she received an alert to her omnitool informing her that Saren requested her presence at the Navigation controls. A shudder traveled down her spine before Jane forced her legs to move in the right direction. Saren was already busy working, his gaze intense on the datapad in his hand. A growl left his mouth and he shook his head before throwing the device at an unsuspecting crew member.  
“I do not find those statistics acceptable! Put them right!” he bellowed and the Engineer scuttled off without so much as a hint of subharmonics. Saren turned to Jane and she suddenly felt like a girl at school, about to be told off by the teacher. He summoned her closer and he almost seemed to calm slightly. Not that his tone divulged that.  
“I need to evaluate your suitability for this mission along with your combat and arms skills. You will complete a program over the course of this cycle. Meet me at the shooting range in 15 minutes,” Jane saluted and caught the eye of the Turian that Saren had almost strangled. His mandibles flexed.  
“Yes Spectre,” she said before heading towards the elevator. Jane called for the elevator and waited patiently for it to arrive but before it did, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned expecting to see Saren join her but instead, it was that damn Turian. He strode right up to her, pressing his body against hers and sandwiching her between himself and the wall. This close, Jane could make out his faint colony markings. He had dark plates and not much lighter colony markings. By Turian standards, he was deemed as unattractive and Jane found herself wondering if that was the reason he even pursued her. He didn't exactly have any defining features and still looked young enough to be growing into his fringe. His talons were sharp and ungloved, tapping against the metal of the ship. He hummed thoughtfully, finally getting his moment.  
“So, I never got the chance to introduce myself the other cycle,” he began, trying to nuzzle his face in her hair. Jane stretched out of his way but he brought a hand to her face and stroked her cheek affectionately.  
“My name is Celentis and I must say, your scent has been driving me wild,” he purred, the vibrations rumbling against Jane’s chest. She refused to respond and so he tried harder. His hand moved to the fading mark on her shoulder. Saren watched with spite as the young Turian was practically out of his plates and purring all over Jane. It was Saren that gave her the option of removing that bondmark and he wanted to be the one to replace that mark. For the greater good of racial equality he added on to his thoughts as rage started to boil in his gullet. He had already reprimanded the fledgling, this time Saren would leave no opportunity for a repeat.  
“I see you have detached from your mate… I wonder if you would let me…” Celentis continued, nuzzling against her neck and went to line his teeth with but Jane forced him away from he with a firm shove to the chestr, finally parting their bodies. She was about to make her feelings clear when a gunshot rang out and Celentis’ body dropped in a crumpled heap on the floor. Jane’s breathing was heavy with the sudden rush of adrenaline and she simply stared at Celentis for at least a minute before turning to the Turian who had so irrationally put an end to such a small problem.  
“Throw him out of the airlock,” he ordered and two crew members moved the limp and dead body from where it lay.  
“Yes Spectre,” they replied in unison and Jane did nothing but stare at him. His expression unmoving, his gaze untelling. They stepped into the elevator and took the ride in silence. Jane didn’t dare to speak of the event and Saren was beside himself over his actions. Was his determination to please the Council really that extreme or was there something else afoot? Maybe her fading mark was interfering with his instincts, after all, she’s human; it was natural for him to feel so pent up when in close proximity to a fading mark but the fact she was human made him question his control. He didn't worry for too long as they arrived at the deck that housed the shooting range.

Predictably, the targets were human-shaped and each one had varying sizes of energy rounds punched through from where Saren monitored his own skills. He unlocked the weapon stash and handed her a sniper rifle. It was black and had a hefty scope attached, obviously Spectre Gear and heavily modded by the Spectre himself.  
"This is the HMWSR. Master Line of sniper rifles and only available to Spectres. `This one in particular is mine, a level 10. Tell me it's base stats." Saren leaned against the wall nonchalantly as he awaited Jane's answer. There was a moment of silence as Jane considered her answer.  
"Uhm...damage is 336... shots before overheat is 2...accuracy rating is 85.3-"  
"Wrong," Saren said almost as if he was expecting her to be wrong.  
"Close... but wrong. The accuracy rating is 86 for this particular model. Remember that the next time I ask." His tone had softened as he explained, as a teacher, he could be very likeable but his demeanour was still off-putting. How Nihlus coped was beyond Jane.  
"You will become more familiar with Spectre Gear over the course of your time under my command. Now, fire a shot. I want to test your aim and ability to absorb recoil." Jane got into position, settling the rifle in her hands and controlling her breathing. She remembered back to what Nihlus had taught her. Fire on the exhale. The human shaped target had a precise hole punched through it's head, enlarging the one already made by Saren. Jane lowered the rifle and looked to the Spectre for praise.  
"Not bad," he began, unclipping the Spectre class heavy pistol from it's holster and handing it to her by the muzzle.  
"Have you ever fired an arc pistol?" He asked inquisitively.  
"N-no, we never trained with anything elemental," she admitted sheepishly, taking the gun and aiming down the sights like she would her regular pistol.  
"Not like that," he corrected, positioning himself behind her and taking her elbows in his hands, his talons smarting her skin lightly.  
"Relax your posture a bit but make sure your legs are planted in place, here, spread your legs a little more," he positioned his knee between her legs and pressed his body against her bac.  
"Now fix your hips, square them," he instructed, moving his hand from her elbow to her waist. His breath caught in his throat as he felt her slim but firm waist, his thoughts quickly turning to thoughts of his talons finding purchase on her skin as she submitted to him. His long fingers curled over her hipbone whilst the heat radiated against her, she swallowed nervously. His spare hand glided from her elbow to her wrist to correct one of her hands and he sleekly brought his mouthplates to her ear once she was standing how he wanted.  
"Just like that. How does it feel?" He purred, the tone in his voice was nothing but subtle. Jane wondered if this was a test, to see how easily she would become insubordinate or show disrespect. His breath was hot against her cheek as he waited for an answer, his mandibles tickling her jaw.  
"It feels good," she answered but what she was referring to escaped even her.  
"Good," he cooed.  
"Now all you have to do is _squeeze_." The gun kicked back harder than Jane was prepared for but Saren kept her steady with his muscular frame. The arc round struck the target in the centre of the neck and arced across two others. Jane smiled at her small triumph.  
"An excellent attempt," Saren had stepped back now and had his arms folded over his chest. Jane nodded in response, handing back the heavy pistol which he clipped back in it's holster.  
"We will explore close quarters combat in the next cycle which is in another 3 hours. I expect a prompt arrival." Jane nodded as he turned to leave but not before he cast a second glance at her as he recalled that the faint smell of Chellick still lingered on her person. He could change that if he wanted and if he listened to the way his instincts were screaming at him, he would change that.

The few hours between training had passed as if they were only a second each and Jane had made her way to the training room to find Saren clad in a very slick undersuit. His spurs were more defined and Jane could see how muscular his arms really were. He gestured for her to enter the space and they both fell into fighting stances.  
Jane didn't hesitate to step forward and shot out her hand towards his cowl, he swept her arm down and grabbed her wrist, twisting the hand away and sweeping his leg out towards hers - a risky movement for a top heavy Turian. She stepped back and turned under the arm that grasped her, her feet intricately moving as she stepped behind him and sent an elbow to his back. It was like a dance between them, every offensive of hers was meet with a defense of his. She was skilled but he was more so and it frustrated Jane, her movements becoming more erratic in an attempt to throw Saren off his blocking. Her hand shot up, fingers straight and pressed against the warm hide on the front of his neck. He smirked and his eyes fell, she followed and saw his hand poised similarly at her solar plexus. Their stances mirrored one another's, their legs a tangle between them. Sweat had begun to bead on her forehead but the much older Turian before her didn't seem winded at all, having moved gracefully without pause with every attack. Little did Jane know how well Saren could suppress his instincts. Blood, adrenaline and lust was coursing through his body as her skills in close quarters resembled that of a Turian. Her flexibility combined with his reach was a perfectly lethal combination that was attracting Saren by the second and let’s not forget how well her waist had fit within his hands. The Spectre dwarfed her and when it came to partners, Saren loved nothing more than to dominate. They had been stood in the finishing stance for too long and Jane coughed nervously.  
"Better than I had anticipated" he complimented before stepping back. "Thank you Spectre", she said, her eyes flicking away. She was a little disappointed in her ability, not entirely sure what would have made her satisfied in the outcome.  
"I am the longest serving Spectre, I'm a lot more experienced than you," he offered as if he could sense her feelings.  
"I am impressed with your skill but there are points that could be improved. I will drop by to run through them with you. For now you are dismissed." Jane left the training room feeling no better about her skill level than before. If anything, she felt in limbo, like she was about to be dismissed from service like the day Udina had after returning from Eden Prime. Saren had wanted to train for much longer but his primal urges were becoming increasingly hard to ignore and he was having a hard time controlling his biotics which were glowing a deep purple around his hands. Perhaps he could allow a little fraternisation this once. 

Jane had returned to her cabin rather exhausted after her spar session with Saren, he was a fine specimen but that moment when he corrected her aim with the pistol was something else. Something more than commander and subordinate. She even dared to call it mutual attraction. Jane relaxed on the luxurious bed for a while, letting her bones stretch and muscles fall limp before sitting at her terminal to write up her reports. The Council had asked her to keep an account of her experience working alongside Saren and she began with discussing his leadership skills and how she respected his authority. She had gotten to the events of target practise when sleep claimed her and when she woke up, she wiped the saliva from the corner of her mouth and continued writing. Amongst all of the excitement of being in space again and fighting, there was a sad undertone. Jane was seeking closure on the loss of her mother. There was a Thresher Maw to face and few if any, lived to tell the tale. She was scared.

"Shepard?" She'd heard the hiss of her cabin door opening but paid no mind to it. Maybe she felt safe but then maybe her anxiety was getting the better of her. She only jumped a little and it would have been missed if her datapad hadn’t clattered on to the floor from when she was referencing her notes earlier.  
"I didn’t mean to interrupt," Saren says, remaining in the open door. Jane hurried picks up the offending datapad and turns to face the Turian visitor.  
"I see you are writing your reports, I can return later if you are concentrating-" Unfortunately, Jane let her hasty answer portray her enjoyment when in Saren’s company. He did seem a little dry but he spoke the truth and was an intelligent man. She would have been wrong in the mind to ever turn him away.  
"No, they can wait,” she smiles softly to confirm that she was truly happy for him to stay.. Saren steps into the room fully, leaning against the fish tank opposite of her, arms folded over his chest. A pose Jane had found him in more often than not.  
“Is there anything I can do for you Spectre?” she asks and it takes all of Saren’s willpower to not command her to her knees or over her desk.

"Well, my plan was to give detailed feedback on your training but it’s nothing I can’t send over from my terminal. So. Akuze. This is quite a mental challenge for you.." His eyes scanned her from head to toe as she nodded but then he noticed her eyes were excessively wet and red.  
“Shepard?” he rarely used her surname but when he did, it wasn’t with the same authoritative tone he used to call her commander.  
"This is more than a mental challenge for me. This is… what I worked hard for. I want to be out in the field, I want to be a good soldier I want to get these feelings under control. I just lost my mate, my mother and we have to face a Thresher Maw. What if we can’t beat it? What if there’s an entire nest of them?” Jane shakes her head as she imagines the worst case scenario, her eyes glazed with concern. Saren took a step forward and Jane almost thought he was going to comfort her.  
"I don't know you as well as Nihlus or your mate might have, Commander, but those are not the words of a Soectre candidate. Nihlus said you were fearless and strong. Did he get you wrong?” He stared at her with hard grey eyes as her green ones searched for an answer. She couldn’t find one.  
"Jane, I am not just here as your superior. It is my job to consider the welfare of my team. I know just as well as you that emotions can be revered as weakness but to talk of them is strength. Tell me how you feel,” Saren was almost begging for Jane to open up to him, to let him into her human mind and allow him to catch her falling tears.  
"I’m scared." Her voice wavers. "I feel lonely. I don’t have a mate to confide in, I don’t really know what I’m expecting to find of my mother… I feel on edge. How do you go from having so much downtime to suddenly being the same ruthless Spectre you are known to be?” Saren knows what she is referring to. Assignments like this are few and far between but he never loset his ability to get the job done regardless of his methods. Saren looked at her for a moment before he took a full step forward.  
"Jane..." he rumbled as he thought over what he was about to say.. "As a Spectre and the superior onboard this frigate… I can understand that as the only human aboard… your mother… this must be a very stressful mission for you... as a Spectre I could allow some fraternisation to… relieve that stress.." he watched Jane’s eyes widen.  
"Spectre, I don’t-." Shepard swallowed harshly.  
“Saren. You may call me Saren.”. He took a step closer, their bodies almost touching. As he stood now, he towered almost two feet taller than her. His sincere gaze sent shudders up her spine and she suddenly remembered how good it felt to have a Turian pressed against her body.  
"Jane, you are an exquisite exception to your species, a skilled soldier and I might add that it has been refreshing to meet someone so well-versed with my own culture. For us to engage in such a way… well, I think the Council would be pleasantly surprised at how well we function together, wouldn’t you agree?." Saren felt relieved that he had brought up the Council. It gave him good cover for the fact that he was genuinely interested in intercourse with her. His gaze periodically flicked to her mark. It was almost gone.  
"Saren, I…I would like that,” she answered, finally deciding that she needed an outlet for her stress and insecurities and if a man such as Saren Arterius was offering, who was she to decline? His eyes roamed over her body, taking her in completely for the first time.  
Right now, he wasn't looking at her as a completely different race, he was considering her for the human she was. The human that had chosen his race to mate with. Nihlus had always said that he never looked at race, he just cared whether a job could be done. Right now, Saren seemed less of a character to fear but more one to respect and let lead.  
He decided to close the space between them completely, pushing her back against the desk she had been working at. He placed his hands gently on her hips, letting her become accustomed to his touch. Jane inhaled as she began to confuse herself with memories of Decian and Nihlus.  
"Jane relax, it is me. You are here with me." Saren cooed softly and Jane suddenly felt completely safe in his grasp. He pressed his forehead against hers and nuzzled for a moment before letting his mouth plates join her lips. His talons traced down her waist, threatening to tear the thin fabric. The sound of shredding filled the room as he tore open her shirt, it happened so quick that Jane didn’t even flinch. With talons so sharp, Saren could have easily killed her. His hands ghosted over her shoulders as he pushed the article from her body, letting gravity pull it to the floor. Her many fingers skilfully popped the clasps and seals on his armour and he tossed it all aside carelessly as pheromones assaulted his nasal plates. His hands slid under her ass as he lifted her onto the desk and settled between her legs, making sure to push against her. Her breath hitched in her throat and her thighs tightened around his waist.  
Jane chuntered to herself as she fumbled over the remaining armour pieces that sat on the Spectre’s body. A pang of guilt weighed on her as she realised that Saren was completely different to the man she had just separated with. He deserved patience. Saren chuckled at her moaning however and brought up his own hands to help her shed the rest of his armour. Soon, he was naked before her, hard plates, sharp angles, a myriad of scars. She admired him, he looked so different and she let her fingers gently skim over him, learning the scars that littered his body. She lingered when she reached his mandibles and rubbed the underside of them, listening to the way he responded. He purred quietly. They remained like this for what felt like an eternity, no desperation, no need to rush, her thighs resting between his hip spurs, soft breathing and calming subharmonics. It was Saren that finally decided to continue, his fingers found the snaps of her bra and he tugged them open.  
Jane gasped as the air hit her breasts, her nipples pebbling and she wasn’t sure whether or not to be embarrassed by her anatomy.  
His talons were splayed across her skin, caressing the dip of her collarbone, skimming across her chest. One of his hands reached down to cup a breast. His thumb swept across her nipple, causing her to gasp loudly. He laughed heartily at her reaction but Jane also felt the slight shift in Saren’s plates between her thighs.  
"Spirits...." he cursed when she moved her hips against him. The hand on her hip clenched into a fist, gripping her cargo pants and underwear, all the while, still threatening to pierce her skin. He gave them a very firm tug, pulling them from her hips to her knees and finally in a heap on the floor. Saren pulled her closer.  
The contact between them made Saren pray to the Spirits and he couldn’t help but kiss her, trailing his mouth plates down her neck. The force behind his ministrations make her hiss and the sound makes his plates shift again. His teeth locked onto her collarbone but he wasn’t cruel enough to mark her without consent. In Turian culture, to mark without consent would equate to rape and he was anything but a rapist. He let a talon trace the almost invisible mark on her neck and he cast his thoughts to how broken her heart must be.  
"I am sorry that you didn’t see eye to eye. I don’t think his profession let him handle your situation very well,” Saren whispered against her skin and Jane knew he was referring to the fact that Decian was with C-SEC. How could he have possibly remained with her after she harboured a wanted criminal and took Red Sand? Suddenly, Jane appreciated Saren’s company more than she could explain, it was as if he understood her and if he was Decian, he might have given her a chance.  
“It was my own fault Saren. I deserved everything that I got but without all of that… I probably wouldn’t have found the courage to ask to join this mission. I wouldn’t be here with you now…” Saren’s audio canals perked up, she was actually glad to be here with him between her legs. His plates were completely open now and the hand that was on her hip moved to touch between her thighs. Jane whimpered and rolled her hips forward, brushing his hand much more firmly against her centre. She gasped quietly when he slid a thick finger inside her. She dropped her head forward to rest against his neck, hands clutching on to his cowl.  
"Please, Saren." She whispered and he curled the finger upwards, causing her to cry out. She made a high sound in the back of her throat that any passing Turian would here and pushed her hips closer. She was physically begging him for more, begging him to be closer than it was possible. Saren wanted nothing more than to tie with her but that was something that only happened between bonded couples.  
Jane whined when he retracted his finger but he shushed her gently when he lined himself up at her entrance. He pushed in slowly, and Jane clutched even tighter to his cowl. He was much bigger than Nihlus or Decian and he stretched her in every way. But the ridges that lined his cock brushed against her nerves and soon, the searing pain was nothing but pleasant waves.  
"Spirits Jane..." He was barely halfway insider her and he only managed that because of the natural lubricant that Turians produced.  
"Saren," Jane whimpered in a breathy voice, begging for more.  
"All of you, please. I need all of you." Her back arched towards him as he pushed in farther, hilting in her, base and all.  
"Fuck..." Jane cursed through gritted teeth as Saren’s pelvic plates rested against her skin. Saren dared to look down at the sight of him stretching her and it sent possessive chills down his spine. Jane steadied her breathing as she adjusted to his soze, silently thanking him for allowing her this small mercy. She felt Saren lean down and rest his forehead against hers as he rumbled quietly. Without thinking, Jane wrapped an arm around his neck and caressed the sensitive hide beneath his fringe, their heads still pressed together. This was no longer just fraternisation. This was intimate and Jane’s heart pounded harder when Saren began to move his hips in small, partial thrusts, never pulling out any farther than above his base. Shepard groaned in the back of her throat but Saren swallowed any further moans by kissing her.  
"Spirits,” he thrusted a little harder and the noise she made in response encouraged him to do it again.  
"Jane, I-" the way she just accepted him and the way they felt like this made him want to just take her like a Turian but she wasn’t his to do that with. _To hell with the Council_ he thought, he wanted this woman.  
Saren rumbled, adding a rather forceful thrust with it and causing Jane to yelp, her fingers desperately trying to find purchase on his back. His mandibles flexed into a victorious smile as Jane did her to best to stifle the moans escaping her mouth. He didn’t care if the crew heard, he was the alpha onboard.  
"Saren... Saren, please..." Jane gripped onto him harder, wrapping her legs around him as tight as possible. He rumbled again, holding back another smile as he revelled in her need for him. He slid his hands beneath her ass, hoisting her up from the desk, supporting all her weight like it was nothing. He carried her, still buried deep within her, to her bed. Jane made a sound deep in her throat when he lay her down against the sheets. He held himself up, looking down on her. He wouldn’t say it out loud but he didn’t just find her waist exquisite. He found her completely exquisite. From her hair made of millions of independent strands, her green eyes that desperately scanned him, the muscular frame that was both a wartorn soldier and a delicate woman. He wanted her.  
He began to thrust at a fast but rhythmic pace and Jane lets herself be transported to another world, nothing but soft gasps and Saren’s name leaving her lips as he pounded into her. He adjusted his hips and hit something deep within her and causing her to cry out, her hands reaching for anything to grab on to. He offers his hands and enjoys the way they lock together when anatomy says they shouldn’t.  
"Saren..." Jane crooned, her chest heaving with heaving breaths. He drove his hips faster, her whole body moving against the bed, her breasts bouncing with the force. She groaned as the familiar knot in her stomach began to tighten and threten to snap  
“Oh my G- … Saren… please!" she begs, he can feel her walls begin to strangle his length encouraging his own climax that boiled within him. He gave several more hard thrusts before he came with a roar, Jane’s entire body tensing, her inner walls contracting around him as she cried his name, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Saren had to literally fight his urges to mark her there and then and his efforts had caused his biotics to flare sporadically.  
The cabin fell silent besides the sounds of their breathing, and Jane finally looked up at Saren. He smiled, nuzzling his forehead against hers. They lay for an hour, enjoying the post-coital bliss and also the release of the built-up tension. Jane was nodding off when Saren rolled onto his side.  
“We will continue your training tomorrow, you will face another crew member whilst I evaluate. Get some rest,” Jane had expected the Spectre to leave but was surprised when he gave her a small kiss and fell into a calm sleep. He trusted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dOQ3_9J43eY


	14. An Unexpected Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane continues her training unaware of Saren's true desires but after she suffers a memory lapse, Saren decides he needs to be her grounding point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued support everyone! I'm so excited to be writing for Saren and Jane!
> 
> Link to the featured song will be in the bottom notes. Leave a comment or Kudos! x  
> Contact me via email: kittie.valentine@yahoo.com

**Laruam, 3rd April 2177**

 

Jane turned over in her sleep, the thin blanket wrapped generously around her naked figure but was startled awake when the muscles in her back twinged sharply. She gasped in pain then fumbled to sit up but a firm hand that had rested across her chest meant it was difficult to move. She lay back down carefully and turned to face the silver Turian that slept next to her. She studied the way his chest rose and fell with the gentle breathing that accompanied his beating heart, the way he purred slightly and how every so often his nasal plates would twitch. It was almost child-like and Jane felt a little smile tug at the corners of her lips; Spectre Arterius actually had a gentle side to him and he allowed her to see that. It took all of her restraint to not brush a hand along his mandible and wake him from the deep slumber that claimed him after he came inside her but his menacing voice rumbled through the silence.  
"Weren't you taught that it's rude to stare?" His eyes opened to study her with a new fondness although she couldn't help but chuckle at his dryness. Jane cast her thoughts briefly to the night they had spent together, how… powerful and strangely intimate it had been. She had enjoyed herself and felt content. A few minutes passed, the only sound being the thoughts in her head, the soft rumble of Saren's purring and the hum of the ship as it drifted through the system. Jane contemplated moving again but as if he read her mind, the arm Saren had rested across her tightened possessively.  
"Saren, I have to dress for duties," Jane whispered but he kept his arm locked around her. He hummed contently as he remained still where he was.  
"I don't think you will be missed for an hour, do you?" He asked as if he already knew he was right. Jane felt a strange flutter in her stomach; this wasm't exactly how one night stands or bouts of fraternisation ended. Someone had to take the walk of shame and so far, neither of them had shown any signs of regret or embarrassment. Jane shook her head and forced her way out of his grasp, to which he growled carnally. She tiptoed into the bathroom, making sure not to stumble in her sleepiness and undressed to take a shower. Out of the corner of her eye, spotted herself in the mirror. She looked at her red hair, layers messy and casual, her eyes refreshed and green, the talon marks in her hips, teeth marks over her breasts, red from chaffing between her thighs but her neck... the dark patch remained from where Decian's mark had sat and she suddenly felt a pang of guilt at the fact that she had fallen into bed with the Spectre so willingly and without regret. Her relationship with Saren had taken an unconventional turn when he found her crying and insisted on her telling him about it. He told her that he'd killed his own brother at such a delicate age and the nearly kissed. Jane hadn't noticed Saren climb out of bed, as a Spectre, he was a master of stealth and he stood in the doorway watching as he thought he saw regret wash over her face. _What could she possibly be ashamed of?_ He thought to himself, suddenly considering his suitability as a mate. Maybe she knew he was unattractive to his kind... With slight shame and annoyance, he quickly threw on his undersuit, collected his armour and left without so much as a sound.  
When Jane finished washing herself and her hair in the sink due to her lack of personal shower the room was filled with steam and, her body was just as red as the cuts on her body and it steamed the mirror up. She grabbed a towel and dried herself, mindful not to tear the open skin and wrapped her hair in a towel before shouting through to Saren.  
"So you said I would be training again today?" She said but there was no answer.  
"Saren?" She called but was met with silence. Curiosity got the better of her and she left her toiletries to investigate only to find her cabin empty and void of any evidence that a Turian had occupied it. He'd left. She quickly popped her head outside of her cabin to find that the halls were empty too. His armour was gone, he left a while ago. A wave of sadness rested on Jane's shoulders and she wondered if Saren was even remotely interested in her.  
Jane's stomach growled like a starving Turian and she realised that she hadn't eaten since before her evening with the Spectre. She quickly dressed into her training gear and made her way to the Mess Hall. When she arrived, it was occupied by three other Turians who all scented the air the second she walked in before whispering to one another, their mandibles flickering uncontrollably. She sighed exasperatedly and continued to choose her breakfast as the aliens stared at her. After 15 minutes of eating and drinking her cup of Kava, Saren strode in and the three Turians who were still eating, hastily left without finishing or clearing up. It was just Saren and Jane. He retrieved a ration bar from a top cupboard and turned to leave, his gaze met hers and he stood on the spot only for a second before continuing past. The only contact between them being the breeze from him walking by. Jane felt a blow hit her self-esteem and she silently hoped that her sparring session would be a good opportunity to distract herself and focus on more pressing matters.

Jane hadn’t been assigned any other duties to carry out during the cycle so she remained in her cabin until Saren notified her that she should introduce herself to her spar partner.  
Spectre Arteius [RESTRICTED]  
Re: Training Program  
_Commander, We are yet to complete your training and you are scheduled to spar with Tarquin Victus this cycle. I would highly recommend you introduce yourself and become acquainted before we begin._  
His message was short and to the point but that didn't bother Jane. She wasn’t one for petty squabbles, she’d been used before by human men and tossed aside; she simply picked herself up and carried on. As soon as she finished reading the message, she left, forgetting to lock her cabin and heading for the sim room. It was only by a minute that she missed a message from Chellick, which now sat unread on her active terminal.

Meanwhile, Saren rapped his talons on the arm of his pilot chair, waiting for a response from Jane to acknowledge his suggestion. It never came and it angered him. _Was she being deliberately insubordinate? Rebellious because she still held that Detective in high regards?_ His thoughts drove him wild and the Spectre shot out of his seat with rage and headed straight for Jane’s cabin only to find it empty. He was stopped dead in his tracks when her scent hit his nasal plates and he was thrown back to their night together. How it felt to grip her with his talons, trace his teeth along her thin, pale flesh, to feel her pulse against him as she writhed around his length. He found himself drawn to the desk where he first thrust inside her and a carnal growl of lust escaped his mouth plates but as his sharp eyes scanned the area, he spotted the unread message on Jane’s terminal and was about to grumble with annoyance until he realised that he wasn’t the sender. He opened it.

Decian Chellick [PRIVATE TERMINAL]  
Re: No Subject  
_Jane, … I don’t really know what to say anymore… you haven’t been in contact with me since your last message… I’ve been working so much damn overtime I don’t know what’s day and what’s night anymore… food has no taste… Turian brandy has no effect… I feel like I have this hole that can’t be filled and it’s all because of that damned Spectre. The one that took you to his home. He’s sick! I can’t believe he’s taken you across the system like this… it won’t be long before he sinks his teeth into you like he does everything else. All I can hope is that you’ll be careful at least, especially around Arterius._

__

_Yours,  
Decian_

Saren thought of sinking his teeth into Jane’s delightfully pale skin, letting the coppery taste of blood sit on his tongue. He rumbled with need as he deleted the message. No-one seemed to ever understand Saren’s way of doing things but then he wasn’t the longest serving Spectre for no reason.  
“That I will,” he said to himself as he headed towards the elevator, basking in the thought of finally marking Jane with a bondmark like no other in their history.

Jane had been sat in the training room for almost half an hour and Tarquin hadn't shown up, nor had Saren which just annoyed her. She decided to take part in her own work out to pass the time and took to the punching bag, lacing it with a right, right then heavy left hook and a surprise knee jab. She continued the pattern and then began circling the bag, ducking and jabbing until she stopped. Someone in the room was-  
"Commander Shepard, I'm Tarquin Victus," a young Turian was stood directly behind her with an outstretched hand, Jane took it and watched his mandibles flick.  
"Sneak up on people often Lieutenant?" She quipped. Tarquin laughed and his mandibles fluttered again. Everything about him reminded her of Chellick, from the colour of his plates to the undertone of his subharmonics but for some reason she still wondered where Saren was seen as he was supposed to be evaluating her.  
"I must admit, I was interested in seeing you for myself before being thrown in at the deep end, I was most impressed," his eyes roamed her body from toe to head and he couldn't help but notice the red on her cheeks.  
"Your cheeks have taken a slight pinkish tinge, are you alright Shepard?" He asked smoothly. Jane's heart skipped a beat, there was no way she was crushing on a younger Turian.  
"N-no, I'm fine... thank you. Shall we?" She gestured at the ring, hoping that he would just spar with her. Thankfully he accepted and they began to dance around one another, exchanging blows and grappling one another. He was young and didn't realise she had been sparring with Saren so he was taken aback when Jane grabbed him by the cowl and dragged him to the mats, proceeding to straddle him in one swift movement. She pinned him down by the wrists but with his weight, he easily flipped their positions and he found himself rumbling suggestively in her ear. Saren chose that exact moment to walk in but neither of the two training noticed.  
"Commander, I think that's one to me, don't you?" Tarquin purred but to his dismay, Jane shook her head and whispered something barely audible in his ear. His brow plate raised and she used the opportunity to once again flip their positions so she was sat atop him. Their groin plates made contact and Tarquin growled, his voice thick with subharmonics. He raised his hips again but this time Jane stood up, offering a hand to help him up.  
"Let's call it a tie," she winked. Saren stood at the door, his length uncomfortably tight pressed against his armour. He wanted nothing more than to take her against the mats that second but the fledgling would likely spill himself all over the place.  
"Lieutenant, you are needed elsewhere," Saren said plainly, startling the two. Tarquin left immediately with a very suspect bulge in his training gear.  
Jane caught her breath before turning to face the Spectre. She could tell he was uncomfortable and contrary to his beliefs, he couldn't hide his subharmonics from her. They stared at each other in silence before Jane decided to be the one that broke it.  
"So, did I offend you this morning because you left pre-tty quickly," Jane didn't care if he reprimanded her for her tone.  
"I had duties," he lied and Jane wasn’t totally convinced either so she moved on to another subject casting his answer to memory.  
"So, how was my training, Spectre? I'd been looking forward to being evaluated but it seems you only partially witnessed our session," Jane’s gaze flicked to the bulge he was trying to conceal.  
"You did fine although you should abstain from dirty, underhand tactics," he was clearly commenting on her human method of 'every man for themselves.'  
"Okay so, why are your subharmonics telling me that I excelled in impressing you?" She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth and watched as Saren's breath caught slightly.  
"Do you even understand subharmonics Shepard?" He asked with a sprinkle of sarcasm, folding his arms across his chest.  
"I'd been with a Turian long enough to understand," she snapped back. Saren smiled and cocked his head to one side.  
"Just the one Turian?" He asked.  
"Y-yes," Jane answered unsurely.  
"What about Nihlus? Were you not together or am I mistaken?" Jane's mind went blank and she immediately felt like a child being asked a trick question. She knew Nihlus, yes but together? Were they together...? Why would she forget such a thing? How could she- Eden Prime. Tears filled her eyes as she realised Saren had played her. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire and her hesrt pounded unevenly in her chest. She tried to barge past the smug Spectre but he grabbed her by the upper arms.  
"Jane," he said but she tried to wriggle free regardless.  
“Let go of me,” she sobbed but he held on tight.  
"Jane, look at me," but she still refused so he decided to press his forehead against hers and purr comfortingly.  
"Do not be so hard on yourself, I was not mocking you Jane, quite the opposite. If you can understand my subharmonics then you will understand exactly what you do to me," Jane looked up at the Spectre and he leaned down until their mouths met in a gentle kiss. Her body relaxed in his grasp and he slowly released her arms in favour of wrapping them around her waist. He held her tightly against him and the intimacy of the moment caused Jane to moan into his mouth. It took little time for the kiss to become heated and a warmth to swell in their chests but it ended all too soon and before either of them could say anything stupid, Saren left, leaving Jane stood with wet cheeks and a million thoughts circling her head. One in particular stood out. _What was this feeling she felt every time they kissed?_  
Her training with Tarquin and the sudden upset over Nihlus and the incident on Eden Prime had left Jane wearing an uncomfortable sheen of sweat that made her clothes stick to her skin. She slowly made her way to Saren’s cabin, hoping to grab a decent shower before retiring for the cycle. Saren must have been elsewhere as his cabin was dark and nothing had been touched. Jane shed her clothes, leaving them in a trail from the landing through to the bathroom.  
She stepped into the expansive shower, turning the water on. It was large enough to accommodate an entire squad if needed and alone, Jane felt tiny inside it. Steam started to fill the shower and Jane felt the humidity sit on her skin, her heart besting harder. She lathered her shampoo in her hands and she tilted her head up, looking out of the skyline above her. It wouldn’t be long before they arrived at Akuze. Jane had been lost in thought when she suddenly felt the presence of Saren’s familiar body before hearing the tapping of his talons on the tiles. The warmth radiating from his body was just as intense as the heat of the shower and being so close to him naked again made her desire to be taken by him overwhelm her.  
“You misunderstood me, when I mentioned Nihlus,” he said to her. She said nothing in return and continued to lather soap in her hands, the water rinsing off the suds.  
“We seem to be good at that don’t you think?” She asked as she started working her fingers through her hair that had matted a little from her workout. Saren sighed and chuckled with amusement.  
“You presume that I mock you, am deliberately awkward. It’s quite the opposite in fact I didn’t expect to become quite so… attached to you…I never thought I’d need you the way I do… I always thought I’d be alone. I left when I saw you looking at your scar, I thought perhaps you might still love him or be ashamed of what we did…” Jane took a pregnant pause to digest his words, it made her feel a little guilty knowing that Saren had worried himself over her opinion of him. She took a deep breath before putting his overworked mind at rest.  
“No, no it’s not like that… I’m sad at the way things turned out. I did love him but things were done and said and I don’t think we could move on from that; that’s the main reason I let you remove his mark, to help me realise the need to move on. So when you consider that and then look at what’s between you and I… I-I don’t regret whatever _this_ is,” Saren listened intently without interrupting Jane and he felt a swell of pride in knowing that she wasn’t ashamed of him. When she had said about things being done, she’d lifted a hand and traced the scab that was inflicted when Decian slapped her in the alley.  
The touch of Saren’s foamy, rough hands on her back straightened her posture and she glanced over her shoulder. His eyes were lowered, looking at the scrapes on her body, fingers moving over them, gently but methodically.  
“Does it still hurt?” he asked, wondering if she still felt the remnants of him. His slippery touch drifted from her shoulder blades, down to the very small of her back. He touched her with a gentleness that she welcomed with a sigh. These tender moments between the two of them made Saren realise that life wasn’t just black and white; those grey areas that one would never normally know what to do with, Jane was one of them but the more they interacted together, the more he understood his need to claim her. He took her hips in his hands and turned her to face him, allowing him to look at her body from head to toe, hot water cascading down her curves, dripping from her pert nipples and splashing from the curve of her ass. She was beautiful and she was stood before him.  
“They normally heal quickly enough, my skin seems to have acclimatised to having these kind of cuts but I always forget to continue applying medigel,” she replied, leaning into his body slightly. Saren responded by brushing the much darker, wet hair from her neck, exposing the sensitive skin to his breath.  
“Trust can be more beautiful than it’s aesthetic counterpart,” he muttered into her ear, hot breath tickling. His hand wrapped around her throat, tilting her head back. Jane liked the way his hands felt holding her so assertively, his grip was firm and it was refreshing for someone to take the lead. His thumb and index fingers cradled her jaw, holding it still but with no pressure. He was asking for her submission and Jane felt no desire to resist. Jane turned her back on the steaming Turian in favour of reaching for a little more of the shampoo... well, it wasn’t really shampoo, it was just Saren’s lotion but the scent was so relaxing and addictive – it reminded Jane of tobacco and leather. She smiled as she thought of the small things she loved about Saren and pushed her firm ass up against the front of his body. She caught him make a rumbling sound in his throat and felt it vibrate through his sternum, through to her back. She also felt the length of his unsheathed cock against her backside, and she was suddenly transport d back to her night with him, the familiar heat between her soapy legs. Lifting her arms around his neck, she pushed back into him, physically welcoming his advances. The droning from his subharmonics was deafening,, overpowering the sound of the shower and Jane loved being lost in everything Saren.  
“Do you… lo- enjoy my touch?” Saren stuttered, correcting himself mid-sentence like a fledgling.  
“Yes,” she whispered.  
“I love it,” she affirmed and took the hand he had placed around her throat again. Their anatomy shouldn’t work. Saren was much bigger than Jane but then being at her limit was a thrill. Knowing the damage he could effortlessly inflict was a thrill. She tugged his hand away from her neck to slide it down to her breasts. Her nipples were pebbled before he even touched them and her body tensed up when he pinched one lightly. Jane kept her hand over his as Saren squeezed, enjoying the way they explored together. His free hand joined the other, tracing a line down her abdomen to lewdly circle in and out of her navel, and continue lower, stopping just above her pubic line. Jane slid both of her hands down to where his rested and tried to push it lower but Saren didn’t budge and she realised that the only way she moved his hand the first time was because he allowed it to be guided. Saren was still the one in control and he never lost that control.  
“I guess I truly was wrong when I thought you regretted my touch. Perhaps you will tell me how much you love my touch?” Saren teased, before dipping his face to hers. Jane had to stand on the tips of her toes to meet him with her mouth. She kissed him confidently, it no longer felt like two crew members blowing off steam or simply fraternising. They were falling in love but neither would say the words for fear of it being too soon or inappropriate. Their tongues danced together, Saren’s rough against Jane’s own. She had no concerns over his sharp teeth or untrimmed talons. She was there. With him and the thought made her sigh contently. Saren broke away and smiled to himself.  
“I will take that as a positive, shall I?” he teased and Jane threw it right back.  
“Do you have to talk so much? I’m sure you are just as skilled with other things...” Jane urged through heavy lust. Her core ached for him, and the only way that the dull throb was going to be satisfied was with Saren taking control. As if on cue, Saren suddenly grabbed her shoulder to spin her, making Jane face him, her body trapped between his body and the wall. He kissed her again, firm and demanding. His arms caged her, and his cock pressed hard against her stomach. Jane reached down and stroked it, taking the opportunity to really appreciate his size and the fact he had fit inside her in the first place. At his base, Jane’s fingers couldn’t meet, he was painfully wide. Amongst the cocktail of hot water, billowing steam and a lustful Turian, Jane had become lightheaded and unbalanced and had wrapped her arm loosely around Saren. She pumped his cock and watched his face. His mandibles were tight against his face, jaw clenched. He purred so boldly and rutted into her hand. Jane felt a strange sense of victory in the fact that she could reduce him to this, reduce Spectre Arterius to a purring mess. His blue-grey eyes opened, staring hard into hers.  
“I can smell how badly you want this again,” he growled, nudging a leg between her own, opening them further.  
“You are wet,” he observed as Jane’s hips rested across his leg, it created a pleasant friction that she wanted more of. He sank to the floor, and Jane gasped when he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder, spreading her before his face. It was such an intense sight, the Spectre on his knees for a human.. Jane reached down to grip his fringe to pull him closer. Saren smiled at her neediness with a smug flick of a mandible.  
“Please…” Jane managed to spit out before his lengthy tongue started to taste her, starting low, only to flick the tip of his blue tongue up and over her clit. He hovered over her small bundle of nerves, grinding the tip of his tongue to her. Saren would randomly open his mouth wider to tease and spread the soft lips between her legs, as to more easily trace his tongue through that soaked core. Grabbing her ass, he tugged her hips forward, putting her sex at the perfect angle to push his tongue deeply into her body..  
Jane hadn’t realised she had been panting, fingers clutched at his fringe desperately, so close to coming that her entire body felt tense. The steam made the air heavy and hot, and Jane felt strangely safe in the Spectre’s. She saw stars when the pad of his thumb skimmed across her clit, and just the faintest whisper of his talon. Jane rode out her orgasm unapologetically on his jaw as he insisted on remaining exactly where he was. Jane was still holding his fringe when he withdrew, only to lazily lap at her oversensitive skin. She watched him move away after a few more strokes, to kiss the inside of her thigh, finally giving her that moment of rest she so desperately needed.  
Finally, he pulled her leg off his shoulder and stood to regain his position over her. He pulled her into a kiss and she could taste herself in his mouth, it made her head swim with dizziness. She let him move behind her again and spread her legs wide. He gave her no time to anticipate his next movement and he forcefully thrust his cock inside her. She was left delightfully breathless.  
Steam collected in a blanket around them, and the sound of water was drowned out by the sound of plates slapping against skin. Jane loved the way she would cry when Saren hit a particular spot inside her and the subharmonic growls that escaped his mouth made it worth every second. Jane’s favourite moment was the way it felt when he came, the way his body jerked and his muscles contracted. She heard his breath hitch and he pulled out before he speared her again, leaning over her writhing body and filled her.  
Leaning against the tiles, water lightly pattered against her body, with Saren’s forehead against her back while he regained his usual composure, Jane could only wonder, _what was this feeling she felt every time they mated?_  
“Won’t you stay Jane?” he muttered as his seed leaked around his own receding length.  
“Whatever this is… I find it most enjoyable and would be honoured for you to stay in my quarters.” Jane sighed as his cock left her walls, she was dripping a mixture of their fluids.  
“We leave for Akuze in the next few cycles… perhaps we should prepare separately? No distractions,” Jane answered viably.  
“Of course,” Saren returned, he wrapped Jane in a towel and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She will be marked. She will be my responsibility, Saren thought to himself as his prospective mate left for her own cabin.


	15. The Lazarus Project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Saren begin their mission on Akuze to investigate the strange disappearance of the colonists but their investigation takes a violent turn as they discover the culprit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slow update, this term at university has been too manic and thank the Spirits today is my last day until January! Thanks for the continued support and if anyone's a fan of Destiny, I'm delving into the wonderful world of Osiris.
> 
> I've been struggling to find any songs that appeal to me so for the past few chapters there are no links but I may review this at a later date and change that!  
> Email: kittie.valentine@yahoo.com  
> Tumblr: kittie-valentine  
> Snapchat: littlekittya

**Laruam, 4th April 2177**

Jane watched as her digital clock manifested into a new ungodly hour, the blue light illuminating her face. She wasn't tired enough to sleep but she just felt tired. Her body ached pleasantly from her shower with Saren and she smiled to herself that he hadn't left early this time. It also made her feel safe, knowing that he cared for her. Being the only human aboard the ship, the only member left of her family... space could be a very lonely and hostile place, especially to any who drop the proverbial ball. Saren would no doubt still be awake and conducting his rounds soon and Jane pleaded with the Spirits to let her be asleep when he arrived at her cabin. She didn't think her body could take any more mating with him, nor did she have the mental capacity to deal with the intimacy. The gentle hum of the ship's engine core filled the room and it sent Jane into a gentle lull that almost ended in slumber but before her eyes shut gently, her terminal chimed. At first, she thought it was just a message and rolled over onto her side but the chiming returned and continued to ring. Someone was calling her. 

"How on Earth-?" Jane chuntered to herself as she stretched out of the warmth of her nest. The comm buoys weren't accepting calls, only messages, so whoever was calling her, knew their way around hacking a trans-communication system. Jane sat herself on the cold chair at her desk and brought her knees to her face to try and conserve some heat. She accepted the call. The orange haze flickered into a familiar face with dashing white markings that brought a smile to Jane's face.   
"Nihlus!" His mandibles didn't once close, he was overjoyed to see her and so was Jane, it was a pleasure to see a friendly face.   
"Did you forget me Jane?" he quipped and Jane's smile fell as she remembered that moment with Saren when he saw her memory lapse. Nihlus noted the glum expression.   
"It'll get better, unfortunately you humans are all... squishy... easily susceptible to damage, even more so compared to someone like myself." Nihlus always tried to remain in control and Jane would happily let him. His voice was like melted chocolate and it rumbled in her chest. His eyes sharp and green, like laser targets honing in on her.   
"So tell me, how has your journey been so far? I imagine Saren has been putting you through the paces," an image flashed through Jane's mind of her and Tarquin flirting, the heat that pooled between her legs, then Saren kissing her like a Turian. Her journey so far had been filled with this tension between herself and the Spectre and now her situation mirrored the one she found herself in on the Normandy. Meanwhile, Saren was making his way around the residential quarters to check on everyone who had just completed a shift, he was also hoping to check in on Jane when he heard giggling from down the hall. On very skilled feet, he managed to reach her door and pressed an audio canal against it, the metal pleasantly cool against his hide.   
"… hurt me... didn't care about the bigger picture... about me... just Saren...but Saren has been there..." Was all Saren could make out; he continued to listen.   
"… you... falling for you... sporadic memories... happy though... you and I..." Nihlus must have said something because Jane giggled. It was the kind of giggle that Saren wished he could be the cause of, the source of her happiness. He suddenly felt strange wanting such things, his brother would be turning in his grave but he trusted Nihlus and if Nihlus saw her as a suitable lover, if a proud member of C-SEC could, then so could the Spectre.   
"… how many Nihlus?... elevator... cargo bay... your cabin... my cabin... need I..." Saren felt sombre as he digested the words passed between Jane and Nihlus and it dawned on him that they were reminiscing. More specifically about their time when they were together. The memories of all the times they had mated. Saren trilled to himself as he silently wished to the Spirits that he could be the one for Jane. He wanted to claim her for his own so badly.   
"...Saren..?" The Spectre pressed his audio canal to the door again as he heard his name.   
"… just a few times...." He heard Jane reply almost coyly.   
"… and...?" Nihlus pressed. A pause lingered in the air and Saren could have sworn the heart he didn't know was there had stopped.   
"… love..." Another silence fell and Saren decided to continue his rounds of the quarters before retiring to his own to plan his approach on Jane. His primal urge to mate now overwhelmed his body and he rhythmically clenched his fists to negate the energy. He was about to let himself into his quarters when he received a message to his omnitool. It was the Council. 

Council [PRIVATE CHANNALS]   
Re: Assignment: Akuze 

_Spectre Arterius,_

_We understand that we provided you with an instance to investigate the incident on Akuze however, it has caused great concern amongst scientists, colonists and the Council itself. With the help of your partner Commander Shepard, we are ordering that you touch ground in the next cycle. We understand that the short notice may not be convenient but we know that as a Spectre you are skilled enough to find a solution and ultimately an answer to the question of what happened to the humans on this planet._

_We wish you luck on your assignment._

Saren growled with annoyance. The Council were inconveniencing him. He wanted to bond with Jane and now he had lost his opportunity. Regardless, he decided to message Jane the details rather than interrupt her call with Nihlus. He would have to have words with the young Turian over hacking a trans-communication system as well. 

**Akuze, 4th April 2177**

"Gear-" Saren called out.   
"Check!" Jane replied. They were going over their inventory for the mission, Saren of course taking it as yet another opportunity to test the Commander. They had limited rations, a rifle and heavy pistol, enough ammo although it would need conserving and of course, Saren was a very powerful biotic which made him a valuable asset for if things went sideways. Saren unlocked a weapons crate and took out his sniper rifle.   
"The HMWSR, what is its accuracy rating?" He asked plainly.   
"86 for that particular model," she answered confidently and Saren nodded.   
"Glad to know you paid attention during your training." He pointed out as he put the weapon away, gathered his remaining inventory and settled into the drop pod. Jane stood trying to keep her breath steady, praying that she wouldn't ruin this mission with the Spectre. Saren saw her hesitation, saw her scanning almost as if she was reading an imaginary manual for the mission. He walked over, a picture of confidence.   
"Commander Shepard, this is an investigation into the incident that happened here. There will likely be no survivors. Whilst I care about the welfare of my team, as I said when I accepted you onto my team, I will not clean up your mess if you become distracted. Is that understood?" Jane saluted without hesitation.   
"Yes Spectre." They both strapped themselves into the orbital drop pod and watched as the door locked in place. There was only a second of haunting silence before the sudden weightlessness lurched in Jane's stomach and she gasped to herself but clenched her jaw so not to make any more noise. Everything was rattling and it wasn't long before the heat from entry into the atmosphere began to burn through. Saren seemed perfectly content in the heat but for Jane it felt like she was entering hell as a trickle of sweat ran down her temple and collected along her neck. Saren took great interest in it as they plummeted through the atmosphere.   
"Saren?" Jane spoke up as she clung tightly to the straps that wrapped tightly over her chest. The Spectre looked at her.   
"Yes?" He answered surprisingly softly and Jane turned to look at him properly.   
"Thank you." She didn't care to elaborate on what she was thanking him for and Saren didn't care to know either but even if there was more to be said, it was prevented by a bone rattling shudder and crash as they collided with the surface. 

Jane's head swam and she felt sick. She was shaking from the inside. She only just registered a hand grip her jaw and put something in her mouth.   
"Chew this and let it sit on your tongue," Saren instructed so she did. Whatever it was, it was fruity and tingled as it dissolved on her wet muscle.   
"You have been anxious so I anticipated a dip in your blood-sugar levels, that should help," Jane found it endearing that Saren had gone out of his way like that but then it could have just been a formality to ensure she wouldn't be a hinderence during the mission.   
"Thank you," she replied, feeling much better already.   
"So you keep saying. We should get moving, we are approximately five klicks away from the site the colonists were working at, we are currently situated at the old facilities when the program first took point." Saren had evidently studied this extensively. They unclasped the straps holding their gear in place and stretched each muscle, Saren admiring Jane from the corner of his eye. They took their packs and loaded a weapon before quickly scouting for immediate hostile activity.   
"Area clear Spectre," Jane confirmed.   
"Move out!" And they both began in the direction of the main site that the majority of the pioneer team was working at. They had jogged about one klick when a tremor shook the ground beneath them.   
"Quake?" Jane asked, surprise lacing her voice. Saren's mandibles pinched at his jaw.   
"No, Akuze does not have tectonic plates like that of your home world. Be vigilant." They continued to press forwards and Jane couldn't help but admire the planet's lush geography. Deep greens contrasting sandy deserts, it was oddly beautiful. They were headed through a mixture of jungle and desert, the sand abrasive against the pair's armour whilst the vines wrapped around their limbs. They had passed an area of light colonisation when Jane spoke up excitedly.   
"Maybe we could hack and download the files from any active terminals, there might be information we could use." Saren accepted her suggestion and brought up a datapad and ran an application on his omnitool.   
"Commander, take this and continue the download, I'm going to scout over there," Saren made his way to the small shack and discovered that it was where the workers slept on site. He rummaged a little and was surprised to find a bunch of dog tags. Typical humans he grumbled to himself. He continued to rummage through the storage crates when he happened upon some personal footlockers that must have been prepared for shipping to the next area. One was labelled Hannah Shepard. Saren jerked open the box but only found a few items of clothing and deactivated datapads but he wasn't convinced so he pulled out the clothes and lone behold, a dogtag fell to the floor with the light tinkle of metal. He picked it up and let the chain slip over his two fingers as his thumb ran over the engraved name.   
"Spectre, all data has been extracted, shall we continue?" Jane had managed to sneak up on him but then maybe he was just more invested in his own thoughts. He turned to face her and decided to hand her the dogtag.   
"This belongs to you now. Do not let it distract you." Jane took the chain in her hands as Saren brushed past her, not bothering to stop again. She let a solitary tear fall before wiping it away and putting the chain around her neck. It was only a short jog to catch up with the Turian and he didn't greet her. 

They had reached the main facility for colonisation and it looked as if there was nothing amiss. No evidence of a gunfight, no evidence of evacuation or emergency procedures. Saren was investigating one side and Jane the other when she gasped at her discovery. There was a pile of mutilated body parts, crushed bones. Flesh brown and rotted from lack of oxygen. Her gut wrenched and in the midst of chaos, she tripped on something and cried out, spluttering as a strange gas that was full of spores that burst upon contact. Saren tried to scan the gas with his omnitool from a distance but he couldn't believe the readings. The ground shook again and realisation dawned on him. He looked to Jane and was about to order her to abort the entire mission when something violently shot from beneath the ground, separating the Human and Turian with a huge plume of dust. The creature screeched and Saren had to cover his sensitive audio canals as the pain pecked at his brain.   
"Saren!" Jane cried out and he immediately tried searching for her.   
"Fire between its mandibles! It's subterranean, it's the only unprotected hide!" Saren hoped she could hear him but his heart dropped when she replied.   
"My weapon's jammed... I... I can't see... what is it?!" She cried frantically, fear paralysing her.   
"Thresher Maw!" Saren bellowed as he opened fire from the hip, dragging the attention of the beast to himself. It was worm like and blocked the sun that was behind it, the dust cloud hadn't fully settled and Saren was concerned for Jane's safety. He fired his biotics at the beast but it did little to discourage its attack and in no time at all, the Spectre was exhausted. He'd lost sight of Jane.   
"Jane?!" The Thresher Maw turned its attention back to the direction Jane had originally been and in the flick of its body it smashed itself into the ground. There was a crunching sound and fresh blood, Saren could smell it and he retired to cover to reload. The ground shook and when Saren emerged, all he could see was the crater and Jane's seemingly lifeless body. He sprinted to her with little regard for himself. He fell to his knees and cradled her body close to his. He couldn't recognise her face... the Thresher Maw had caved in her skull and her jaw bone was showing. Her bones were crushed and anywhere Saren touched made a sickly squelch. There was bone piercing skin everywhere and the dogtags of her mother had merged with her skin. All Saren could small was death but he refused to believe it. He searched for a pulse anywhere that he could. He conducted scans of her body, every vital he could but he always got the same answer. Dead. He roared and keened without shame.   
"I want an evac _now_ and I want my best surgeon on hand, you are going to bring her back even if it leaves me broke!" He growled to the intercomm. The crew of the Laruam had no idea what had happened but they would soon enough. Saren sent footage of the event to the Council, that was all the proof they needed. When the evac ship arrived, Saren carried jane's body on himself as the crew member watched in horror at the result of their mission. Saren sat and stared at what was Jane's face for the entire journey. He keened to himself. Everything was ruined in the space of a few seconds.


	16. Sleepless Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saren continues to question the feelings he felt for Jane and in doing so makes himself ill. Meanwhile, his medical team draw up a plan to attempt Jane's reconstruction but the low success rates only anger the Spectre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again! I am so sorry it has been so long since my last update! Unfortunately I got distracted by a few other games and then I lost internet which has been a nightmare but have no fear! I have the next 5 chapters planned and ready to write!  
> Thank you to those of you who have read, liked and bookmarked this fic, it really is my baby and very soon we will be hitting more troubled waters for my Jane and Saren! :O  
> Thank you for sticking with me for so long and I hope you enjoy x

**Laruam, 5th April 2177**

Jane's physical form was impressive by human standards; her arms held hidden strength yet carried a female's need to nurture. Saren had sparred with this female expecting to be faced by a poor example of an opponent but the reality had been nothing but a surprise and admittedly, a humbling surprise. The media and public scrutiny, not to mention the dislike he faced from his own species, had labelled him a sexist, unwilling to cast his attention to members of the opposite sex. But this woman - Shepard - had served a fine military service. She had tenacity, a waist capable of making any Turian blush but her bravery had astounded the Spectre. Her circumstances were dire, there's no denial. She had just bonded with her partner only to discover that her mother might have died. Any normal person would have buried their head in the sand, waited on information to be drip fed by agents like him but no. Jane wasn’t normal. She was extraordinary. She grabbed the proverbial Turian by both mandibles and threw herself to what had been her death but it wasn't going to be her death. Saren refused to allow that. The Spectre forced his eyes to open to slits, his reptilian pupils adjusting to the dim light. He waited long enough to see the time. He'd locked himself in his quarters with a bottle of Turian Brandy and offered a bonus of 100,000 credits to the surgeon who could devise a way to bring Jane back. He sighed heavily, the rasp of the alcohol catching in his gullet whilst he massaged his temple. So far he'd heard nothing but the thoughts of Jane that plagued his mind. Sleep was an impossibility. 

**Laruam, 6th April 2177**

If Jane was attractive to Turians then she must have been a goddess to her own species. Saren had enjoyed threading his long fingers through her hair, such a marvellous thing to possess and her’s was the colour of a Palaven sunset. The way he could twirl it around his finger and it would uncurl itself back to former beauty. It had a sheen to it that reflected light - even coloured light. Saren wondered how beautiful Jane would look pressed against her fishtank.  
Just once the Spectre had allowed himself to lose navigation in her eyes, those two shining emeralds. It was the night they opened up to one another and almost shared their first kiss. They looked divine half-lidded. At this very moment in time, Saren was desperate to have bonded with the woman. He wanted what Nihlus and Chellick had shared with her, this feeling no-one dared to explore or even admit. To ease tension was one thing but to make love was another.  
Saren was an intelligent man and not entirely ignorant of Human culture. He was fully aware that any Human male would consider Jane’s body attractive. She certainly had an attractive figure; tall, perfectly toned legs, curved hips, a very narrow waist, large perked breasts which had become a wonder to Saren since seeing them for the first time but the one thing Saren thought most beautiful about Jane Shepard was her face. Those little brown dots he discovered were called freckles. They were sprinkled over her nose and fell lightly across her cheeks and he most certainly hadn’t failed to notice how they darkened whenever she was aroused. It was something he considered quite... sweet.  
Something clattered down the hallway and Saren again forced his eyes open. His quarters were still dark from yesterday and he briefly cast his thought to the way Jane’s body lay limp in his arms. He growled before reaching for the Turian brandy again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept and his head was starting to pound.

**Laruam, 7th April 2177**

 

Turian culture was based heavily and very possibly solely on the Hierarchy. The requirement that partners be either equal or almost equal rank. Saren understood that interspecies relationships were more common than ever but interspecies bonding was a concept that tied knots in his stomach. When Saren found Jane in that alleyway, mindless under the influence of Red Sand, he wondered if she was as significant as Nihlus had made out. Long ago the younger Turian had told Saren of Jane’s achievements such as her N7 training and her Spectre candidacy - he was impressed. There was a fact that put Saren’s mind at ease, he had no family. If Saren had to go through a ceremonial vote to introduce Jane to the Hierarchy, they’d have declined and he would never be able to bond with her. It was largely due to his stern upbringing that left him full of resentment towards Humans although these ill feelings didn't only extend to that one species - no. In the beginning, Saren didn't believe in any form of cross-species interaction; the anger came when his father left and his mother was subsequently murdered. The responsibilty fell to his older brother Desolas to continue to raise him however, they frequently clashed over Saren's biotics which were very temperamental at that age. When Saren put an end to Desolas' future wrongdoings, he suddenly understood the pain in loneliness, how deafening the silence was. He never thought anyone would care for him or be worth caring for. How the times had changed. Now the one thing Saren had come to love was under the microscope and the last he saw of her was haunting him. Sleep hadn't graced the Spectre since before entering the atmosphere of Akuze; his eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand tonnes but he didn't deserve the peace. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, bones creaking under the weight. Saren took a deep breath and stood but gravity had other ideas and he fell to his knees as his head began to spin. He could feel his stomach gurgle and his gullet contract and thinking fast, ran for the bathroom as bile burned at his throat.

“One Miss Jane Shepard. Twenty-eight years of age. Earth born. Blood group A. Presumably died at the scene of Thresher Maw attack. Post-mortem concludes that the chronology of events is as follows: blunt trauma to entire body before crushing of approximately 62% of bone structure. Pressure resulted in failure of vital organs, haemorrhage caused death.” The leading scientists had spent the past days since Jane’s retrieval suctioning the blood from her body to enable them to assess the damage. The results left many of the Turians throwing up at the horrid sight but after regaining their composure, they were able to form a strategy.  
“Okay, so we’re aware of the damage, what we need to do is formulate a plan for every aspect. Calculate the success rates and present them to the Spectre, is everyone understood?” The Head scientist was met with a chorus of ‘yes sirs’. The Turian team gathered together and spent the next few hours deliberating and straining themselves to devise a solution but in time, they felt they were ready. The Lead Surgeon - Tobias, addressed his team, the datapad he held in his hand contained the details of Jane’s death and all of the procedures she needed. The tool had calculated her chances of survival - or more like her chances of resurrection. He scratched the back of his hide beneath his fringe as he pondered something.  
“How are we to accelerate the growth of new vital organs? The cardiovascular system is not an issue, we have methods of preserving the muscle and the means to restart it but the rest... I- I’m not sure how successful this is going to be not to mention costly for the Spectre,” Tobias studied the data before him.  
“Projected costs are around 4 billion credits as it stands, is there not an organisation we can reach out to for funding?” suggested one of the medics.  
“No. Judging by the way the Spectre reacted to the events, I feel this is personal. I don’t think it would do the Spectre’s reputation any better if the press were to find out about this either. No, we need to hold a meeting with him.”

Saren was still clutching his stomach whilst gripping a glass of water. His head was swimming and the light stabbed at his grey eyes. He needed sleep. He desperately wanted sleep in the hope that when he awoke, he would find that this was an insane nightmare. Something began beeping and the pain in his head hammered harder until he realised it was his omnitool.  
“Yes?” he managed to groan.  
“Sir, we seek an audience with yourself. We believe we have a plan of action for Commander Shepard.” There was an uncomfortable silence upon the medical team as they awaited a response from their superior.  
“I’ll be there shortly,” Saren replied, rubbing his face to try and get the blood flowing again; he had a reputation to uphold and he couldn’t let his team see a Human effect him in this way. He swayed a little, unsteady on his feet before making his way to the Medical Bay.

“Spectre, Sir,” greeted Tobias. Saren didn’t grace him with a response but instead waited for a glimmer of hope to strike the Human body laying on the operating table.  
“Spectre, we believe we have devised an achievable plan of procedures to reconstruct the Commander. It will take a lot of time and will be extremely intensive on the team... not much will be organic of the Commander, she will become predominantly artificial however, her memories will still be intact, we have the immediate technology to preserve them. The process will require 75% skin graft from which we will use existing skin cells. The vital organs will take more work but we should be able to restore functionality using appropriate cultures. We have already yielded a blood supply and thinned it ready for transfusion to the new structure.” Tobias took a deep breath as yet another uncomfortable silence fell throughout the lab. Saren sighed deeply.  
“Success chances?” he forced out. “15% Sir...”  
A rage filled Saren’s weary body and he lashed out, swiping his exposed talons at the equipment that was sent clattering to the floor. He growled in annoyance and went to strike Tobias but Saren was tired and the younger Turian predicted his blow and blocked it. The Spectre stumbled but did not retaliate. He was breathless.  
“Sir, we will do everything that we possibly can to make this successful. You put together this  
team because we are the best. As a professional, I must advise you to rest and trust us.” The Spectre gave the medic a hard glare but submitted; he turned his back on the team and returned to the darkness of his quarters. He found a glass still sat beside his bed half full of golden brandy. He stormed over and drank it in one as thoughts of a life without Jane in it crossed his mind. The liquid burned at his throat much like the taste of Jane when he kissed her. How he was starving for her to be back. Without realising the power of his emotions, the glass tumbler smashed in his fist and the shards wedged in his hide. The pain did not compare.

So many hours had passed since his meeting with the medical team and he was concerned how much they understood of his relationship with Jane. Did they know he intended to bond with her? Or did they put it down to the trauma? Highly unlikely; the Spectre was a stoic, cold and uncaring character. He hadn’t had another drink since he returned to his quarters but he did allow himself a shower which awakened his senses. The hot water and steam had completely enveloped him and for a moment, let him forget all that had happened. When finished, he had put on his undersuit and was about to go and work out some of the tension in his muscles but his omnitool notified him of a message. It was the Council. He sighed with annoyance and lazily strode to the Comms room where the Councillors awaited him.

“Spectre Arterius, we have so far received no reports with regards to your progress in the investigation of the events on Akuze. Do you have any explanation to offer?” pushed the Asari Councillor. Saren didn’t make eye contact.  
“Shepard is currently dead and lying in my Medical Bay awaiting procedures to reconstruct her being. The cost of this project more than likely eclipses your salaries combined.” Saren finally glared at each Councillor. The Salarian suddenly became very nervous and stepped forward.  
“Does anyone else know of this Spectre? How did it happen?”  
“Thresher Maws,” Saren replied plainly. The Councillors whispered amongst one another for a brief second.  
“A Thresher Maw? On a colony planet? That can’t be... we mustn’t let this information into the public domain, it would cause-“  
“Chaos?” Saren interrupted.  
“It would do the Council reputation terrible harm in the Human’s favour if the media discovered you were trying to cover up the events.” The Turian Councillor gave Saren a snarl.  
“Spectre, what exactly are you insinuating?”  
“The truth. Although I believe that this can remain in private if you offer me some... assistance in the matter regarding my Commander,” Saren wore a smug grin as he began to bargain with the Council.  
“What do you want now Arterius?”  
“I want Commander Jane Shepard to be admitted to a state-of-the-art laboratory where partial funding will be offered to support her reconstruction in exchange for the attack to remain private from the public.” The Councillors pondered his request when the Asari looked to him again.  
“Why are you so insistent on reconstructing the Human Commander?” Saren hesitated for a split second to consider his careful answer.  
“A number of reasons. One, it wouldn’t exactly do the Council any favours if the public found out she had died in the same way her mother did. Two, being able to develop the technology to revive the deceased would revolutionise the way we fight wars but most of all, should this ever get out... it would most certainly shine a good light on the perception of Human-Turian relationships knowing that I, Spectre Saren Arterius had funded her revival. Wouldn’t you agree Council?” The Councillors sighed exasperatedly in defeat.  
“You may return to Citadel space and dock, we will arrange for the Commander to be transferred to a Ward of your request. Would that be all Spectre?” Saren simply nodded and felt as a sense of hope grew in his chest. Jane’s chances may have increased.


	17. The Face of Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After two years in an induced coma, Jane is finally roused but she struggles to comprehend the events that led to her reconstruction. Her obvious distres causes tension between herself and the Spectre.

**Critical Ward, 3rd March 2179**

The sound of medical equipment and soft Turian voices echoed in Jane's ears; the rhythmic bleeping of the heart monitor offered a refuge for her to focus on. Jane was conscious of the fact she was breathing but her body felt tight. Both eyes opened just enough to let the light tickle her irises but immediately snapped back shut at the searing pain they induced. A groan escaped her throat, barely audible to a Human but it did not escape the medical team's audio canals.  
"Spirits, she's gaining consciousness! Quick! Remove the sedative from her lungs, let's bring her to," Tobias commanded. Jane could hear the commotion surround her. Shee could feel taloned hands holding her in a comforting manner. Then she remembered. Tobias placed the breathing apparatus over Jane's mouth and her eyes shot open. She could smell the decay in her nostrils... putrid. The marbling texture of deoxygenated blood mixing with her own. The instantaneous demise of her life that allowed her to feel her bones crush, her innards to bleed. To die.  
Her arms flailed helplessly and she screamed with a gravelly, raw throat that was red from the ribbed tubing. In a matter of moments she was surrounded by Turians doing their best to control her.  
"She's not ready yet. Get 105 miligrams of the sedative now!" Jane couldn't identify the voices that seemed to echo and warp in her ear drums.  
"Calm down Miss Shepard, you're safe. You're going to be okay." She felt a needle prick the skin of her forearm and the last thing she saw in her mind before succumbing to the darkness was a scarred, ivory face with harsh grey eyes.

**10th March 2179**

The bleeping of the heart monitor returned to Jane’s subconscious and she was once again aware of herself. She swallowed thickly and attempted to open her eyes but was too weak to manage even that. A Turian voice could be heard and then Jane sensed that she was surrounded.  
“Gently this time. We don’t want to upset her,” whispered Tobias. The mask was placed over her mouth and Jane consequently gripped at Tobias’ wrist. His whole body tensed until her touch and she forced open her eyes at last, fighting through the migraine that hammered at her head. Jane gasped and drew in a deep, deep breath, releasing it slowly and enjoying the way it filled her lungs. The medical team watched in awe as she acclimatised herself but there still remained the elephant in the room. 

“Jane?” Tobias knelt beside the bed and watched carefully as weary but soft eyes gazed back.  
“How are you feeling?” He mentally clipped his fringe for asking such a lame question but Jane surprised him with a giggle and nodded.  
“Good, good,” he purred.  
“Now Jane, I need to ask, do you remember what happened?” The room fell silent. They didn’t want to have to explain to her that she died or explain to the Spectre that her cerebral cortex was damaged.  
“I died,” she answered plainly. Tobias gulped before continuing.  
“That’s right but, we’ve managed to help you, thanks to the Spectre, we brought you back and-“  
“Nihlus?” Jane interrupted.  
“N-no, Spectre Arterius,” Tobias corrected. Jane’s brow furrowed as she analysed her thoughts.  
“Saren, not Nihlus...” she said aloud. Tobias had disappeared to fetch an instrument and returned to sit on the bed.  
“Jane. You were subjected to an incomprehensible trauma that did significant damage to your entire body. So much so that you were pronounced dead at the scene; you are aware of that?” Jane nodded.  
“Your reconstruction has taken a long time.” There was a pregnant pause as the Turian let the words settle with the Human laying in front of him.  
“How long?” she asked quietly.  
“- 2 years Miss Shepard. The proce-“  
“2 years? W-where are we exactly?!”  
“We are currently on a high spec ward, suited to your every need. The equipment here has helped to save your life,” Tobias explained.  
“I died though...” she repeated.  
“The process of your reconstruction involved a lot of work. We have rebuilt you using your cells. New skin, new vital organs however, we have had to use Turian engineering for some organs as it took a while for us to reach Citadel space.”  
“Let me see.” The room fell silent again. What was once a perfect face, sprinkled with freckles was now adorned with scars. Tobias hadn’t realised he was frozen to the core until Jane gripped his arm and encouraged him to show her reflection. He slowly held up the mirror to reveal a pale, freckled face littered with stitches, scars and red blotches. Jane scowled. Her face didn’t bother her. The fact that she couldn’t move a muscle did.

**24th March 2179**

Jane’s eyes slid open and she heard her heart rate jump on the monitor to correspond with the fright it gave her to find Saren leaning intently toward her. She tried to sit up but her muscles wouldn’t allow that and she slumped back into her original position. Embarrassed, she turned away.  
“I saved your life and you have so little respect you won’t even look at me?” Saren scorned. Jane blushed and looked at the Turian. Her mouth opened and closed more times than she could count but the words didn’t come naturally.  
“I- I can’t even sit up...” she replied pitifully. Saren scoffed blatantly.  
“About two years ago you weren’t capable of drawing a single breath. You should be grateful that I allowed you to draw another.” Jane couldn’t believe her new and augmented ears but her voice didn’t hold the same command as before.  
“Allow? You allowed? Do you know how ridiculous you sound saying that? I didn’t ask for this... why did you waste so much time on me? You don’t even like my species!” Jane’s chest rose and fell heavily, that entire speech had worn her out but the Spectre wasn’t ready to back down. He leaned down lile a predator so his face was no more than an inch from hers. He huffed out a growl.  
“I may not be a fan of your kind but I think I made it quite obvious that I held a different opinion of you. I think you should show a little more respect, especially considering you mistook me for Kryik when you first gained full consciousness. Not to mention I spent well over 4 billion credits on your reconstruction because contrary to reputation, I am not a cruel man.” Jane swallowed a thick lump that had lodged in her throat but didn’t reply.  
“I am surprised that any Turian found you suitable to bond with.” The Spectre was gone quicker than Jane could have said beacon and she found her eyes hot with tears as the need for Saren to hold her  
overwhelmed her.

**Laruam, 3rd April 2179**

“Miss Shepard?” Tobias gave Jane a light tap to wake her from her gently slumber. The Spectre hadn’t visited since their altercation but then that was expected. Jane smiled and attempted to sit up but her arms were still too weak. She fell onto one shoulder to face the Turian, breathless and suddenly tired.  
“And that is the exact reason I am here, Jane. We need to discuss your course of physio-therapy to regain full muscle functionality.” Jane couldn’t help the daunting wave that settled over her. Effectively, she was going to have to learn to move again and that certainly wasn’t going to happen overnight.  
“Now, I understand that emotionally this is exhausting for you so we can arrange to have a counsellor present to offer support whilst the physio-therapist works on the physical side. Does this sound okay?” Jane pondered the road ahead of her and knew that if she wanted a chance at life, she was going to need this.  
“When can I start?” she smiled.

Little had Jane been aware of the difficulty this proverbial road she had ventured onto held. It was a gruelling task, setting yourself up for an inevitable fall. It was embarrassing but necessary.

The first few weeks were spent helping Jane to sit up unassisted. The Turian physio-therapist was a beautiful female. She bore markings similar to Nihlus and purred encouragement to Jane even when she failed. There were many failures but each failure was a step toward success - or so Tobias had insisted.  
Cresina, the physio-therapist helped Jane to swing her legs over the edge of the bed. She knelt down and practically purred; Jane wondered if this female had been chosen because of Jane’s attraction to the species. Bisexual tendencies were not uncommon among the Turians.  
“Today we are going to practice the action of standing up via pushing with your arms. If we get that motion, the practice should help you to plant your legs firmly on the ground.” 

Spirits had that been a hard session. The lactic-acid that had built around Jane’s thigh muscles sent searing pains through her calves and resulted in a two day recovery period. 

Weeks and weeks of this finally led to Tobias handing Jane a set of crutches which he had adjusted to her height. This was a tremendous moment for the Commander who was desperate to feel even a scrap of normality, regardless of the fact she undeniably still needed support. The process of discharging Jane took a couple of hours and being located on a private ward meant that a private Skycar had been hailed to take her back to the Laruam to report to the Spectre.  
“Jane?” called Tobias.  
“Yes?”  
“One more thing, it’s a little unorthodox but uhm... the incident on Akuze... your death - it was never recorded officially as a death. The Spectre attended a holo-meeting with Council a while back and negotiated this ward in return for his discretion on the incident.” Jane suddenly felt sick. Had Saren funded her reconstruction just to maintain his reputation? It wouldn’t have looked good if the media knew she died under his command whilst investigating the colony’s disappearance. Jane got into the Skycar and inputted the Laruam’s location. The journey was a good hour but that still felt too soon. Thoughts of betrayal thundered through her head; the night they almost kissed, removing Decian’s bond... she should have stayed with him, fought harder but he worked for C-SEC and Jane’s past couldn’t accomodate that fact. Ultimately, Decian didn’t trust her and that had broken her heart. Now she was intimate with Spectre Saren Arterius but he was more concerned over his reputation. Perhaps the easing tension was his idea Jane repaying him for finding her in the alley. The thoughts just made her more and more angry - hurt even. 

When Jane arrived at the Docking Bay, there was a gentle hum which indicated that the power was active. She made her way towards the impressive ship and entered the depressurisation chamber. The air hissed at her newly developed skin and she acknowledged how sensitive it was. The brig was empty upon arrival and the lights were off.  
Only emergency lighting had been activated which meant that someone was aboard. Accessing the crew timesheets revealed that no-body was on active duty but actually on shore leave. Then it dawned on Jane.  
Saren she thought to herself. A journey that once took her a few measly was now taking nearly half an hour. Every few strides left her breathless.

“If you require assistance, then ask.” A deep, gravelly voice cut the air and sent shudders down Jane’s spine.  
“Why- Why are you on the ship alone?” Jane managed after gulping in a additional breath. Saren ignored her and continued into his quarters.  
“We should report to the Council - the media even.” Jane was walking a fine line and she knew it.  
“The Council are aware of the incident, there is nothing more we can do,” he replied plainly.  
“What? My mother dying wasn’t enough? All of those people dying wasn’t enough? What about my death Saren? Does that even mean anything to you?” That caught Saren’s attention and he studied her hard.  
“I don’t want to serve under your command again Spectre. When I found out you reconstructed me just to bargain with the Council...” her voice broke.  
“You do not understand any of my reasons, I-“  
“Enjoyed blowing off steam? Enjoyed having a human a-“ Jane was cut off as Saren gripped her cheeks in his hand.  
“I suggest you get out of my sight Commander Shepard.” He thrust her face away from him and disappeared into the shower, the door hissing shut behind him. Jane’s eyes were hot from tears that threatened to spill. Why did she care so much what the Spectre thought of her? Was it because they lost loved ones? Shared intimacies? Being deep in thought had distracted her and before she knew it, the soft patter of warm water echoed through the communal showers. It was empty beside Jane and the dim emergency lighting made the experience all the more heavenly. With her crutches leaning against the door and her clothes hung on the dividing walls, collecting damp from the steam, she stepped under the rainfall. Her skin was sensitive and it ached under the warmth but Jane revelled in managing this simple task without aid. The soap was slick in her hands and glided effortlessly over her skin, the scars turning to a different hue under the touch. It made Jane feel ethereal. Her skin glistened and felt good but te bliss was cut short when the emergency lighting flickered and blew out. Jane was plunged into darkness and suddenly she felt as naked as she truly was. She placed her feet carefully to turn around, using the dividing wall for support. Her hand came into contact with the clothes and under her full weight, they slipped sending her heavily to the wet floor. Her head hit the condensed tiles and knocked her unconcious; the running water turned red.


	18. To Climb a Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saren aids Jane's recovery but an unprovoked assault causes him to action her with manditory shore leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I hope you’re all sticking with me! I’m currently on my final term at university so I have a lot of work going on and my sleeping pattern is out of wack!
> 
> Anyway, here is the next chapter, the final chapter before things get REALLY interesting! Chapter 19 will come much sooner as I already have part of it written.
> 
> I hope you enjoy x

**Laruam, 3rd April 2179**

The sound of running water reverberated against the tiled walls of the communal showers but it was not met with the lathering of soap or unfolding of towels. Only silence and thin breathing.  
Saren had not moved from his quarters and he was now wrapping his unfiled talons on the rim of the glass he held. He had been cruel. True, he was not fond of the Human species and made no qualms when insulting them but to Jane he had just personally insulted her as a mate. He had gone... how is put? Below the belt. He had questioned her as a woman during such a delicate stage of her recovery. He saw the limp she still carried and the discomfort from her over sensitive skin, the worry that furrowed her brow. The mission was not over until he and Jane addressed the Council personally; until then he was still considered her superior and carried the responsibility of her safety.  
He grunted with irritation at the fact he had made another mistake toward his intended mate. The now empty glass was placed noisily aside and he strode through the ship in search of the recovering Commander.

Walking past her quarters revealed her absence, it was locked and he received no answer to his calls which provided his mind with little relief as he continued his search.  
He practically punched the control pad that called the elevator and it couldn’t arrive soon enough, Saren was becoming impatient.  
His large strides covered great distance but he stopped at the low sound from down the hall in front of him. He had ordered all staff on shore leave, who would disobey him so flippantly?  
“I suggest whoever it is in here had better have a damn good explanation as to the reason of this-“ The Spectre had walked into the showers only to be met with water that ran red and Jane’s body sprawled in the cubicle.  
“Spirits!” he exclaimed as he ran to her soaked body, examining the source of the bleeding.  
He cradled Jane's body tightly against his, grabbing a towel that tore a little in his grasp. He could feel his heart pound against his chest in what he knew was his primal instinct demanding he protect her. He carefully lifted her, not caring for the water that continued to run and made his way to his quarters. The journey back was torture for the older Turian. The red emergency lighting cast a dark undertone on what was supposed to be a promising response on his part. Jane's breathing had however, returned to a stable rythym which put Saren's mind slightly at ease. The doors to his quarters hissed open and he walked ever so carefully across the room as if he were treading on eggshells. He set Jane down atop his made bed, not fretting that she was soaking the sheets. A quick trip to the bathroom let him gather numerous items before returning to kneel beside Jane. He set a bowl of hot water on the bedside table and wet the flannel that he knew Humans used for cleaning. He wringed out the water and placed it firmly against the source of the bleeding. From the bruising and angle of the cut, Saren quickly deduced that she had slipped and fell against the dividing wall. He continued to wash away the blood until it ceased and took some gauze to dry the area. A sachet of medigel was opened and the contents methodically massaged into the side of Jane's head just above her temple. Saren watched as the injury faded to nothing more than a graze but Jane was still unconscious so he decided to take the opportunity and dry her damp body that felt cool to his alien touch. He gently patted her rosy cheeks and wondered how rewarding it would be to make her blush. The thought drifted from his mind as he dried her neck, avoiding desires of a more predatory nature. He quickly dried off the rest off the rest of her body, not wanting to embarass himself with becoming aroused; the duvet was then wrapped around her as she breathed softly and looked somewhat peaceful. Saren lay himself beside her as he opted to type out a message to the medical team informing them of what had happened.

**Laruam, 15th April 2179**

Jane was in the throes of sleep but her subconscious awoke before her. It alerted her to the duvet and soft pillows that enveloped her delicate form, the almost uncomfortable heat that swirled around the room told her she wasn’t somewhere acclimatised to her preferences. The sound of footsteps... more specifically something tapping... clicking on tiles. The combination of sounds and textures confused her greatly and she suddenly felt constricted, disorientated and nauseous all simultaneously. Her eyes shot open just a something took a firm grasp of her arms. Images of Akuze raced through her mind and she growled as adrenaline pumped through her artificial veins.  
“I won’t die again!” she roared fighting back the figure her mind refused to identify. It was true that nothing matched the power behind the insane. Shepard summoned all of her strength and forced the figure into the nearest wall, earning her a few gashes in her arms that stung deeply, distracting her for a fraction of a second. What she thought was her assailant took the opportunity to grab her wrist but not without retaliation. Jane clenched her hand into a fist and drew it back before unleashing her needless fear into a very tough jaw. The pair separated and Jane panted wildly as sanity finally regained it’s place in her fragile mind. A quiet growl could be heard and Jane’s heart skipped a beat when the enormity of what she’d just done settled.  
“Saren I-“  
“Will meet myself and the Council during the next cycle to conclude our findings on the mission. From then on you are on mandatory shore leave until you are completely fit. You will be assessed by my team and relieved from my ranks. Is that understood Commander?” The Spectre wasted no time in demonstrating his authority. Jane nodded sheepishly before adding,  
“Yes Spectre.” She hobbled to the door but was stopped in her tracks by a gentle tap on her shoulder. Saren had rushed behind and was now pressing his forehead against her’s.  
“Spectre,” she dismissed herself and left with an unsettling knot in her stomach. _What is he doing?_ Jane thought to herself. Saren slumped at his desk and tended to the pain in his head but it only worsened when his terminal bleeped, notifying him that someone was calling. He practically punched the answer icon, sighing exasperatedly. “Yes, Nihlus?” he growled. The younger Turian raised his brow plate in response. “I noticed your ship was docked, how is everything?” Saren knew that Nihlus was more concerned for Jane after the circumstances and their history. “Commander Shepard and I must brief the Council to conclude the mission. After that she is on mandatory shore leave.” Nihlus let a brief silence settle over them before poking the bear. “Do you plan on going with her during this mandatory shore leave?” He used air quotations to mock the Spectre. The comment certainly drew his attention and he snarled in return. “Why would I accompany the Commander?” “I know.” “You know what Nihlus?” By now the Spectre was losing his patience with the young Turian. “That you’re interested, I don’t blame you. In fact I-“ “And I don’t want to hear it Nihlus. Have you got anything useful to say?” Saren asked impatiently. Nihlus looked sheepish. “When is this Council meeting?” “Next cycle, I’ve no doubt you’ll be sniffing around.” “Me? Sniffing around?” Nihlus pretended he was hurt before ending the call. Saren sat back and took in a deep breath, letting it fill his lungs before releasing it.


	19. To Pledge A New Bond - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus insists on spending time with Jane and they end up returning to Jane’s new apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> I have to apologise that my updates have slowed, university has been manic and then I’m so tired I struggle to write anything.  
> So thank you for those of you who have waited around and hello to anyone that’s new.
> 
> Just to let you in on my methods of working - When I’m really into a character I can write fics for that so easily and I’ve gotten into Joseph Seed from Far Cry 5 and think I would like to dabble in that after I complete this fic! I have also started a Halo fic which I hope will be good so watch this space y’all!

**Council Embassy, Presidium, April 15th 2179**

Jane was sat on a bench just outside of the hall where she and Saren were due to address the Council regarding their findings and the incident on Akuze. Her hands were planted either side of her thighs, rythmically clenching the new muscle as thoughts lolled through her absent mind. The Thresher Maw attack and her death were two things Jane accepted easily, aside from the panic attacks that brought her nothing but trouble, Jane had accepted that this was a second life, a second chance - new skin. Her lungs filled with cool oxygen, satisfying her whole body. She held the air for a moment before releasing it in a gentle blow. An ivory Turian had sat down beside her but she paid no mind until he spoke. The familiar gravel fillled her ears and her heart raced.  
“I'm pleased you made it back safely Jane.” Shepard looked up with already hot eyes. Why was it so painful when things were said and things were done? It would be so simple to turn away distractions but what would the heart yearn for then? Jane drew in a shaky breath.  
“It's been so hard Chellick... so painful...” she sobbed as Decian stroked her cheek; oh how she missed his sweetness. As she was lost to her inner conflict, Decian leaned foward to press his mouthplates against her skin. He noticed how subtly different it was - faded scars no longer present yet fresh marks that seemed to glow and her bond-mark...  
“It's gone,” Chellick whispered aloud as Jane created a little distance.  
“I'm sorry... it had to be. After everything I did - you deserve better Decian,” she explained. Heavy footsteps could be heard behind her before a voice to match.  
“Commander Shepard, the Council is ready.”  
“Yes Spectre,” Jane opened her mouth to continue with Chellick but found him already stood.  
“Jane, I love you but I understand. No matter what, I'll be there for you. Now go.” The detective playfully urged Jane onwards to the Council and all she could think about was that she still had to apologise to Saren though for her actions onboard the Laruam.

The Council and Saren were already awaiting Jane’s arrival and as she took her place beside the Spectre, he gave her a soft look that reminded her of lazy mornings in bed with Decian. A time when she could lay in his bed and watch the Citadel come to life. The Salarian Councillor coughed to gain attention in the hall.  
“May we begin?” The Asari nodded as did the Turian to confirm.  
“Spectre Arterius. Commander Shepard. We assigned you with the task of investigating the incident involving the colony planet - Akuze. The colony was reported to have gone dark but only after managing to set up a distress beacon. We understand that you encountered the cause of this shortly after harvesting data in the area. Is that correct?” The Turian Councillor folded his arms across his large chest.  
“Yes Councillor,” Saren nodded.  
“During your conflict, we had a team analyse the data you had harvested. Commander, we understand you may still be a little in the dark regarding what happened on Akuze?” Jane’s stomach lurched violently at the flippant use of the phrase ‘in the dark’. Her mother had died on that planet and she nearly joined her were it not for Saren.  
“That’s correct Councillor. I sustained life threatening injuries and am currently still recovering. I will be taking shore leave once this meeting is concluded,” Jane suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over her. A few deep breaths remedied that.  
“Commander Shepard, we were informed shortly after the Spectre had decided to fund your revival. Our knowledge of the incident is something that we wish to retain from the media. We don’t want to spread panic throu-“  
“A panic? It was a terrible accident that nobody obviously predicted-“ Jane interjected but the Councillors shared an uncomfortable toward Saren.  
“Miss Shepard, we have some information that may unsettle you. Due to the delicate nature of your injuries, it was deemed unsafe and in no way beneficial to tell you these details.” ‘Unsafe’? ‘No way beneficial’? Jane felt angry, hurt and scared all at the same time but Saren’s firm grip on her shoulder brought her back to reality.  
“Commander, the Spectre extracted an audio log along with a text file not long before you were attacked. Our team analysed these and found the results to be quite disturbing. The incident on Akuze was not an accident. It was an experiment orchestrated by the human-survivalist paramilitary group Cerberus.” The Councillor paused to allow the details to set in.  
“Cerberus?” Jane repeated.  
“Yes. Cerberus supports the principle that any methods of advancing humanity's ascension are entirely justified, including illegal or dangerous experimentation, terrorist activities, sabotage and assassination,” the Turian Councillor was abrupt and made no qualms about airing his obvious dislike for humans when he spat the word.  
“We are closely monitoring Cerberus’ activity but it is highly unlikely they will repeat this. As we already mentioned, we do not want the media to obtain this knowledge.”  
“Understood,” Jane and Saren answered in unison.  
“Now, Miss Shepard. We would like to thank you for joining the Spectre on this mission, we trust you got along exceptionally well?” Jane’s heart skipped a beat as she cast a thought to their idea of ‘getting along exceptionally well’.  
“We are sorry that you effectively gave your life in order to investigate this incident. We would like to offer you some compensation, both in payment and in the form of a new apartment, we understand that you are currently unhoused. You need to rest Miss Shepard.”  
Jane was overwhelmed and her omnitool pinged to notify her of the substantial sum of money that had been transferred to her account.  
“T-thank you,” she stammered and she could have sworn she heard Saren chuckle to himself.  
“Then we would like to draw this meeting to an end. We thank you for your help and presence.” The Councillors left as did Saren and Jane. 

As the duo walked back into society, Jane noticed someone familiar stood near a decorative fountain. He seemed to notice her too and flicked his mandibles in a smile.  
“Nihlus!” she greeted heartily although Saren didn’t share the same enthusiasm and opted to linger behind out of earshot.  
“Jane, I heard about your scheduled meeting and a little birdie also tells me you are on shore leave?” Jane chuckled and nodded.  
“We uhm... we had an incident and Saren thought it best that I take shore leave here on the Citadel.” The dark plated Turian nodded nonchalantly.  
“Then allow me to spoil you rotten and you can tell me everything that has happened,” he offered his arm but Saren called out before they could leave.  
“Kryik! Might I remind you that Shepard is still recovering, I need her back to sign off.” Nihlus paused.  
“Recovering from what? It must have been serious.”  
“Shepard died and I had her reconstructed.” The Spectre’s bluntness caught Jane off guard and she found herself avoiding eye contact of the Turians. She suddenly felt an eery silence and the burn of Nihlus’ gaze on her.  
“Jane?” His voice was laced with concern but she forced a smile and battled on.  
“I’m fine and I have shore leave to enjoy so, shall we get going?” Nihlus hesitated and turned to Saren again, something was bothering him deeply.  
“You reconstructed her?”  
“Yes and like Jane just said, she has shore leave to enjoy,” he tipped his fringe in her direction. Nihlus let out a chirp to which Saren growled in response. The younger Turian scoffed and shook his head. What an odd exchange, Jane thought to herself.

**Cafe Zakera, Zakera Ward, 15th April 2179**

The booth seats had a welcome privacy to them and Jane was happy, no - relieved to finally sit down and breathe albeit in the cafe that almost got Nihlus foiled for being in illegal substances. Her fingers lightly toyed with a salt and pepper mill and she found her mind wondering silly, mundane thoughts.  
“Jane?” Did someone just call her? Maybe she imagined it.  
“Jane!” The voice was louder the second time. She definitely heard her name being called, she couldn’t be imagining it.  
“Jane, what syrup would you like to sweeten your Kava?” Nihlus had had to jog over to the table because she was apparently so away with the Spirits. Jane shook her head as if to clear her distractions.  
“Sorry I was miles away. I’ll have some vanilla pod rather than a syrup if you don’t mind?” Nihlus flicked his mandibles.  
“Not at all,” and he was quickly back at the counter with only a few disgruntled patrons behind him.  
He returned with two wide mugs, one for Humans and another ergonomically designed for a Turian’s mouthplates. He sat himself down opposite the recovering female and tended to his mug. The steamy aroma was pleasant and it relaxed Jane terribly so.  
“You’re stressed,” Nihlus observed and Jane simply nodded.  
“Want to talk about it?” he offered, letting a taloned finger trace the back of her hand lovingly. Jane stared at the gesture so Nihlus pressed, letting his hand stroke further up her wrist. Jane sighed and nodded.  
“I feel like so much has happened yet I don’t have much to show for it...” Nihlus cocked his head like a bird waiting for her to elaborate.  
“I was bonded with a Turian detective and then all of a sudden I find out my mother is dead and end up taking Red Sand. Then before I know it, strange things happen between Saren and I and he only goes and reconstructs me when I should be dead!” Jane inhaled a deep breath before continuing.  
“I have no partner, no job, no home... I have a lot of money now thanks to the sale of my old place and this compensation as they called it but...“ Nihlus cut her off by leaning across the table and planting a firm kiss to her lips. Jane closed her eyes and simply let him. It was a while before he pulled away and admittedly, Jane wished he hadn’t.  
“Thank you,” she smiled and he winked in return; such a human gesture.

A comfortable silence fell between the two but not without Nihlus casting regular glances which were filled undeniably with a question. Jane sensed this and returned his gaze.  
“What of Saren?” he finally asked.  
“What about him?” Jane shrugged nonchalantly which earned her a surprised chirp.  
“He reconstructed you from death Jane, he obviously sees something in you.” Jane looked sheepishly to the side, finding the opposite table suitably interesting. She held onto her breath in the hope Nihlus would cease probing.  
“Something happened between you.” A statement rather than a question.  
“What of your bond with the detective?” Jane’s stomach dropped. He was asking too many questions she regrettably had the answers to.  
“Did Saren...”  
“-Decian said some things that just made me see that our worlds don’t go together. Saren offered a way to finish things and so I have.” Jane looked back up at her past lover. Nihlus hummed to himself in thought.  
“How about we finish up here and go somewhere a little more lively?” he offered. Jane liked the sound of that and nodded enthusiastically, gulping down the last of her Kava.

**Neon Heights, Zakera Ward, 16th April 2179**

Nihlus lead Jane into a club adorned with neon tubes and strobe lights that gave periodic glimpses of the patrons and situ. The music had a distinctive beat that sent vibrations through Jane’s body; she was captivated in this haven of neon and electronic music. The beat was steady and she felt no desire to rush but only to enjoy herself.  
“Two Dusk Shards please,” Nihlus signalled to the Asari bartender and Jane watched as a pair of shot glasses were presented and a thick clear liquid was poured in. In the strobe lighting it appeared to glow. The Asari sprinkled some blue dust over the top and smiled, pleased with her work.  
“Enjoy.” Jane took her glass and necked the beverage. It was surprisingly sweet and it slid thickly down her throat, the flavour tantalising her taste buds. The powder offered a burst of fruit flavour, one Jane didn’t recognise but at the same time seemed so familiar.  
“Do you like it?” Nihlus enquired, Jane nodded.  
“It’s really nice, what is the fruit?” Nihlus smiled, apparently glad she had asked.  
“It’s Hacinthia.” Jane’s face lit up as it dawned on her why the flavour rang a bell in her memory.  
“Your ration bars had this fruit in them!”  
“They did and you enjoyed sharing them with me,” Nihlus added, chuckling at the memory of them sitting in the Mess Hall at ungodly hours because Jane struggled with sleep and also proved to have quite an appetite. She also had a backbone seen as she dared to try Dextro food, an attractive trait to a Turian. The pair had been idly smiling to themselves when Jane remembered where they were. Feeling revitalised she grabbed Nihlus’ hand.  
“Let’s go dance!” she said in his ear, her breath tickling his audio canal. They ran into the crowd and found themselves hidden amongst a sea of dancing aliens. It took no time at all to completely lose themselves.

The dance floor was hot and the Human patrons were sweaty. Jane and Nihlus had begun slow, dancing beside each other, taking slow steps and gradually getting closer. It was only a few songs before Jane was grinding onto his leg as he placed his hands confidently on her hips. Eventually Nihlus twirled Jane in his hands, landing her ass in front of his crotch as she slowly grinded away on him. Nihlus was enjoying the contact and he could smell that Jane was too. Nihlus’ hands started to wander downward until they landed themselves on her thighs. He gave them a soft squeeze and relished at how soft they were, he always loved Jane’s figure. Jane chuckled to herself and picked up the pace, flicking her hips back and forth in a more complex movement to the music. Nihlus hissed in pleasure and decided to put an end to Jane’s teasing like a gentleman.  
“Jane, how about we go check out that new apartment of yours?” Jane’s face flushed red, not that the club lighting would reveal that.  
“Sure, it’s getting hot here anyway,” she replied. Nihlus chuntered under his breath something about it being just her as they made their way into the fresh air. 

The air conditioning was like a welcome slap to the face and Jane rubbed at the sweat that had collected on her skin. It was no longer a warm sticky mess but a rapidly cooling dampness. She was certainly growing into her new body well, the phrase ‘when in good company’ came to mind. Jane had been basking in the icy draft beneath a vent and failed to notice Nihlus continue down the walkway. He halted and shouted over his shoulder.  
“If we’re quick we can catch a Skycar to the Ward. Sure you wouldn’t want to walk now would you?” Jane accepted his proposal and sped after him and not long after they arrived at the terminus to secure the last remaining Skycar. 

It was a brief journey through the city and the Skycar pulled up outside the rather grand building. Jane strained her neck looking up to the top like a child in awe. As they walked inside Nihlus threw his arm over Jane’s shoulders causing a slight blush to rise in her cheeks. He smiled and pushed the button to call the elevator.  
“Quite a prestigious location. Should be a nice place you’ve landed yourself,” Nihlus commented, his mandibles flexing.  
“It should be,” Jane said.

The pair shuffled side by side into the elevator, there was faint music but it was still dull. It was taking quite some time to reach her floor, and Jane was growing restless which Nihlus noticed.  
"Bored?" He asked playfully. Jane paused her movements, now aware that he had been watching her.  
“Didn’t think it would take this long?"  
"I guess,” he breathed. He suddenly rested his hand onto Jane’s shoulder again and gently nudged her against the elevator wall. Stunned, Jane’s mind reeled and she allowed herself to become pinned against the wall, succumbed to Nihlus’ charm. He reached a hand behind her and rested his body weight against the wall whilst the other hand gripped Jane’s chin, lifting it so he could capture her lips with a tender kiss.  
It was a short kiss and Nihlus pulled away to measure her reaction. Jane didn't seem too resistant and her eyes had closed.  
"My pleasure," he grinned before stealing another kiss from her. Lucy's stomach flipped with every kiss he gave her. Aware of what was happening, she started to kiss back as well. Her hands reached up to his chest and gripped onto his cowl.  
Nihlus wanted to take this slow but with the electricity between them, he needed more. 

As he increased the rhythm of their kissing, he dipped his head lower to take more of her mouth. She tasted just as delicious as she did on Eden Prime. tasted. She finally wrapped her arms around the back of his neck as a single hand wandered lower down her body, finally reaching her backside. He groaned as he hand expertly massaged his hide. He gave a firm squeeze to her ass and sent a welcomed warmth rushing to Jane’s core.  
They broke their kiss momentarily a few times to gulp for air but Nihlus had no patience and insisted on continuing as soon as possible. He slid his leg between Jane’s and was rubbing at her teasingly. Jane shuddered at the attention to her lower half. Her knees were growing weaker as his tongue had now gained access to her mouth. It was indulging in her taste thoroughly, but Jane was breathless.

Nihlus couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him. Like the Spirits were with him, Jane was flushed pink and her eyes were lidded with a glaze of lust. Her hair was slightly messy too but it suited her. The loud ding of the elevator alerted the couple that they had reached their destination and they reluctantly parted.


	20. To Pledge A New Bond - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After spending leave with Nihlus, Saren decides that signing Shepard off is the best course of action but his primal urges prevent that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I really need to apologise both for how long it has taken me to update this and for how little plot there is in this chapter but I will stress that the abundance of smut really heavily contributes to the next chapters of this fic! 
> 
> I hope you are all looking after yourselves and hopefully you’ll stick by me with this one because I’m not giving up! 
> 
> Check out my Tumblr and email me at kittie.valentine@yahoo.com

**Jane’s Apartment, Presidium, April 16th**

Nihlus took Jane by the hand and smiled gently at her as he allowed her to guide him out of the elevator and down the hallway to her new apartment. Jane had partially regained her composure and quickly unlocked the door and opened it for Nihlus to enter first. He bowed his head in thanks before crossing the threshold.  
The apartment could hardly be described as that. It covered almost the entire floor and was well furnished. The floor was olympic-white tile, complemented by the white light fixtures that dangled from the loft-like ceiling. Jane crossed the room to glance out of the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the city. She surveyed the apartment again and thought about how similar it was to Saren’s.

"So? What do you think?" Nihlus asked, eager to know her opinion.  
"It's beautiful,” she remarked. Nihlus chuckled and followed her casually to the window. He walked up behind her and placed his hands atop of hers on the windows as she looked to the city.  
"So are you,” he whispered boldly before placing a chaste kiss on the nape of her neck. Jane’s eyes widened as the heat she felt in the elevator returned without delay, her heart skipping a beat as confirmation.  
"Nihlus," she breathed before she was pushed flush against the windows. He continued to kiss the her neck, earning him soft gasps when he reached the familiar sensitive spots he used to explore.  
"Hm? I didn’t quite hear that,” he hummed, licking his way up to her ear before kissing behind it. He slowly started licking the shell of her ear before giving her lobe a light nibble. She gasped wantonly and he felt his plates shift.  
He flipped Jane around, so he could see her blushing face and trapped her arms above her head again.  
"You're trapped," he chuckled. Jane blushed heavily and averted her gaze. Nihlus knew exactly the effect his emerald orbs were having on her.

Jane jumped as she felt a hand wriggle up her thighs. It massaged her right thigh seductively, rubbing small circles into her skin, slowly making it's way toward her heated core. Nihlus stroked her tentatively at first, teasing her through the thin fabric of her undies. Jane has already started to tremble as he worked her expertly, knowing exactly where to touch and how to touch it. He smiled triumphantly and bit her exposed neck.  
"I still know you well," he smirked, letting his seduction possess her. She could only pant in response as she struggled in his grasp.  
"Nihlus,” she stuttered, leaning her face towards his. He chuckled and leaned down, licking her lips teasingly before he pressed his mouthplates to her fiercely, pushing her farther into the windows. She moaned softly as he worked his mouthplates onto hers. His slender tongue flicked over her lips for permission for entrance and she let him in, twisting their tongues together playfully.  
Nihlus was rubbing her rapidly now, earning strewn out moans and small gasps. He had decided that he’d had enough of playing and pushed her undies aside to pleasure her without barriers. 

Jane’s body arched as she felt his strong hands rub against her wet folds and so Nihlus released her arms. He rubbed and pinched her clit playfully, revelling in the noises she was making, before delving a single digit into her. Jane squealed and her folds gripped onto him tighter. The heat was unbearable, and she wanted him badly.  
Nihlus started to pump his finger in and out of her hot core slowly, gaining speed as he added another digit as well, stretching Jane before he fully indulged her. Jane’s body was burning hot and she was breathing heavily now. He heard his name escape her lips a few times as breathy whispers and pleas for more. Of course he was enjoying this; seeing Jane in such a state aroused him but he had his motives for doing this. She was a desired woman.  
"Jane," he growled, sliding his fingers out of her. Jane whimpered at the loss and looked up lustfully.

She stood before him, and Nihlus  
began to undress her until she was left in just her underwear. With deft hands, she swiftly released the clasps of his tunic and blushed hard at the sight of his body. He proceeded to pick her up bridal-style and carried her towards the hallway that connected the living space to her bedroom. He skilfully carried her over the threshold and dropped her onto the plump bed. Without hesitation, Nihlus climbed over Jane and spread her legs before him, settling himself comfortably between her supple them.  
Jane bit her lip as Nihlus slowly massaged her breasts through her bra, squeezing and kneading them in small circles. He lifted her bra up, revealing her chest fully to his hungry, predatory eyes. He glanced up at her before leaning down to capture a firm nipple in his mouthplates.  
Swirling his long tongue around her hardening nipples, he felt Jane jump and shiver. She groaned, covering her mouth as she was nearly panting out curses and cries of pleasure. Nihlus felt his arousal becoming too painful.  
As he pulled away, Jane took hold of his throbbing manhood and slowly pumped.  
"Jane...” he groaned. She was driving him insane and he wanted her. Doing this now, he got to spend one last time with her before letting another Turian claim her - one she would be safe with.

He grabbed onto her wrists, holding them above her head and with his free hand he removed her underwear, tugging it down her thighs revealing her body inch by inch until she was fully exposed to his roaming eyes. He quickly positioned himself at her wet entrance, hesitating slightly before he started to push himself into her tender folds. Jane gasped harder and panted heavily. Her mind possessed by lust as Nihlus took her.  
Nihlus kisses her cheek softly while he pushed harder, sliding himself into her fully. Jane gasped and struggled against his restraining hands. Nihlus chuckled at her and silenced her pouting with passionate kisses. Her eyelids fluttered closed as Nihlus began to pump himself in and out of her, thrusting deeper as he began his steady pace.  
He began slow at first, slowly building, until this alone wasn't good enough for him or Jane. She wrapped her legs around his narrow waist, hooking them onto his hip spurs and pulled him deeper inside of her.  
He broke their kiss and saw how Jane’s face was contorted with pleasure and wanting, making Nihlus’ movements more desperate.

Soon enough, Jane began to moan and squeal with every thrust he dealt her, filling the room with a rhythmic pattern of low to high pitched noises. His own growls of pleasure mixed with hers as he was reaching his climax. He eventually let her hands go, allowing her to grasp at his back and shoulders. Her nails dug in but his hide was too thick to puncture unlike his talons.  
Meeting Nihlus’ thrusts, Jane was close to climax, training a vice-like grip around him and causing him to moan louder than before.  
"Ah... N-Nihlus... I’m gonna-" Jane moaned as violent shivers of pleasure overtook her. She saw white. Her walls clenched shut and threatened to pull him  
over the same edge. He gave her a few more quick thrusts before pulling out and releasing his seed over her thighs in thick bursts. As he struggled to regain his breath, Jane was just recovering from her powerful orgasm.

"So?" Nihlus asked, smiling down at the flustered Human. Jane giggled lazily, watching as Nihlus left  
to retrieve a towel to clean up with. The towel was tossed aside and he lay by her side, clearly content. He pulled her into a light hug and inhaled deeply.  
“You smell good. Might ruffle a few feathers.” Jane didn’t read into his words but simply drifted to sleep. 

Jane awoke to the sound of an alarm. She flailed an arm across and patted around for the offending item. No alarm. Beside her, Nihlus groaned something unintelligible and wrapped an arm around her waist but the alarm did not cease. It was a good few moments before Jane’s eyes snapped open and she threw herself out of bed. It was her terminal.  
“Shit,” she exclaimed under her breath, reluctantly answering the call.  
“Ahh, apologies to arouse you from your pit but I wish to sign you off from under my command. My medical team has been monitoring you over your short period of leave and have deemed you as fit” Jane gulped at the thought of his medical team being fully aware of what she was doing. Which meant Saren must know. What if Nihlus got out of bed? Saren would see him, her terminal was a step up from the bed and situated across the room. 

“Uhm, monitoring me Sir?” she asked quietly. Saren nodded once.  
“Correct. Monitoring things such as the tensions in your muscular frame, heart rate, brain activity, the likes. Nothing to be concerned about.” Jane smiled in relief, her heart still pounding then she heard a growl and looked up to the screen. It was Saren and his eyes were trailing over her scantily dressed body. She had stumbled to the terminal wearing an oversized shirt and underwear. Jane suddenly felt heat pool between her legs at the thought of the older Turian purring for her.  
“I see you are comfortable, I will leave you be. Please visit me when you are ready.” The screen deactivated and Jane had to stifle a squeal when Nihlus’ hands found their way around her waist.

“Nihlus, what are you-“  
“Was that Saren?” he interrupted.  
“Yes, why?”  
“Just curious. Do you think he saw me?” The question put Jane on tenterhooks and she wriggled from his grasp.  
“Spirits I hope not...” she said with a hand holding her forehead. Nihlus stood to watch her fluster.  
“Why not? Worried about something?” he teased.  
“N-no, just he’s-“  
“-prone to jealousy,” Nihlus suggested with a hint of humour in his voice. He sauntered to the shower and left Jane to listen to the sound of running water. The rest of the day Nihlus had insisted on spending it with Jane. They dined out for breakfast, went for long strolls through the Presidium and spent a good number of hours shopping for Jane. She had felt a little awkward that Nihlus had insisted on paying for the haul regardless of the fact she had just been awarded a compensation amount. But at the end of it all, she still had to attend a documented discussion with the Spectre.  
“So,” she began. Nihlus had walked her to the docking station where the Laruam was being held and paused, his hand brushing over her elbow.  
“I guess I’ll be seeing you soon?” she asked but Nihlus closed his eyes and shook his head.  
“I have some business that I must attend to but I must insist that you know, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with you. You really are exquisite.” Jane’s cheeks flushed red.  
“Saren will look after you though and we’ll meet again,” the Turian went to leave but Jane caught him by the wrist.  
“What do you mean? I’m being signed off, I’ll likely never see Saren again.” Nihlus paused momentarily.  
“Trust me,” and with a wink and the blow of a kiss, he walked into the bustling crowd. 

**Laruam, Citadel, Docking**

Shepard's heart was pounding as she received permission to board the Laruam. She was expecting Saren to have already been waiting for her but she was greeted with silence. She sighed wistfully as she made her way towards her cabin just on the off chance that he had left a data-pad with a document to sign. No such thing had been left and Jane stood with her back to the door as she pondered what to do. 

"I didn’t spend billions of credits to have you desecrate your body,” came a sharp hiss in her ear. She spun around and found Saren stood inches behind her. She naturally jumped at his presence and brought her hands up as if they were about to collide but Saren took the opportunity to grip her tiny wrists.

"You have been mine for so long Shepard. I thought you would be intelligent enough to accept it sooner. Not spread yourself open for Kryik of all Turians," he snarled, moving her abruptly so that her back was against the wall. The Turian took a step forward, dangerously close to Jane now and with a growl, he buried his face in her neck. The gentleness of the motion had Jane stunned and frozen in his grasp. Normally, she would have been offended by such a comment but his constant purring was soothing and sounded almost desperate. The sweet innocence was lost the second Saren trailed a hand between Jane’s legs, his hands running down her thighs, drawing soft circles in the flesh. He looked her up and down like a predator considering its prey and the intensity forced Jane to break the eye contact. 

Saren did not need permission. He simply guided her to her bed and laid her down gently. Her wrists still firmly caught within his grasp. He gave her one last look before finally kissing her. It began as a soft chaste kiss that slowly became more. Bodies pressing closer together, breaths becoming one. Tongues waging a war with one another. Jane’s back was already arching into the hard lines of Saren’s chest. The moment felt so intense for Jane to be the one that Saren touched so tentatively. The Spectre’s next words struck a chord deep within her and memories flooded back to her of the joys of being loved. Being wanted. Being bonded.

 

“I want you. I want you to give yourself to me willingly. I want to... I want to bond with you,” Saren had stuttered partially like a schoolboy admitting a crush. Now it made sense - all of those shared moments, the reason he saved her life. Jane stared plainly at him as she let her thoughts consume her for a moment, then kissed him in approval. 

Heavy purring vibrated through Saren’s hide to Jane’s body  
and the sensations both helped to relax her but also awoke something else within her. He kissed her deeply, running his talons through her hair before pulling off her top, tossing it to the side to be forgotten immediately. He cupped her breasts in his large alien hands, talons pricking at the skin. He flexed his mandibles at her responsiveness to him and decided to tease her nipples to coax more of those exquisite sounds from her mouth.  
   
Through her blissful haze, Jane began to fiddle with the fastenings of Saren’s tunic, pulling it down his body like a work of art being revealed. The man was beautiful. Muscular. Impeding. He helped to remove his tunic and immediately set about pulling her hips down to meet his thighs. Jane squealed at his strength as he pulled her pants down and even more slowly her panties. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, then cheeks, then jaw. That continued through the length of her neck, to her collarbone and to her breasts. He let his tongue delve briefly into the splendour of her breasts before continuing down to her hips, nibbling and biting her hip bones; the spasms of her body were mesmerising and Saren found his heart racing in response. He returned to her lips, venturing along the same torturous path until their mouths collided.  
   
“I can sense the disgust others hold for me. They think I am unworthy of a mate.” He spoke gruffly in her ear, Shepard squirming beneath as he ground his hips against hers.  
“I can sense the desire for you. Particularly from Kryik, oh how he pushes my patience and resolve.” He kissed her again, running his hands down her sides, her nails scratching into the plates along his back. He let his tongue slither along the shell of her ear.  
“I can taste how you want me.” He breathed heavily into her ears. Jane could do nothing but shiver  
in the wake of this truth. She wanted him and not just as a way to ease tension. This man saved her life and wanted her to cherish it. He wanted to cherish her. This was all so real in such a short space of time.

Nervous to distract him and deflect the deep emotions she felt inside, she reached down to his waist, trying to pull his remaining clothes off. He looked down at her hands, then back up to her.  
“Not yet.” He pulled her arms above her head forcefully, nuzzling her neck. Another shiver whipped down Jane’s spine.  
“Please let me, I want to.” She tried to pull her hands out of his grip.  
 “No.” He growled and tightened his grip, almost painfully. She decided it wise to relax against his pressure, shocked at his assertiveness but suddenly very wet between her legs.  
   
He nibbled at her neck, a little harder this time and he heard an exhale from the beautiful hody beneath him. He used his free hand to reach down between her legs, feeling her wetness and pushed one of his fingers inside her, feeling her tight warmth wrap around him. Another exhale. He pushed himself off her, standing at the side of the bed. He pulled his tunic off completely and revealed himself to her. She looked him up and down, studying his foreign but familiar body. He gripped her ankles and pulled her to the edge of the bed, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his hip spurs. She looked into his eyes and he growled back at her in a dominance that should be frightening but Jane found herself drawn to it like an enigma.  
   
He walked to the side of the aquarium and pressed her bare back against the cold glass. She groaned at the cold but the heat from Saren’s body helped her forget. She wrapped her arms around him tighter, pulling him down for an aggressive kiss. He chuckled as she bit at his neck and scratched at his back. Nothing that would leave any marks. Using her distracted state to his advantage, he entered her suddenly, earning a gasp and moan, loud, just the way he wanted. He smiled at her and moved inside her again. She moaned, even louder this time as he hit her cervix. Her nerves were on fire but escape never crossed her mimd as she tried to grind her hips. She went for another kiss but Saren turned his head away. He grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head on the glass.  
   
“You’re mine, Shepard.” He thrusted deep inside her again, hitting that wall that claimed her as his.  
“Say it.” She looked at him, mouth tight as she struggled with her building climax.  
“Say it, Jane. You are mine.” He thrusted into her again, quickly and this time Jane cried out.  
“I’m yours!” She could feel a wave of pleasure go through her as she said it, one she had never felt before.  
“Again,” Saren demanded  
“I’m yours, Saren Arterius.” He smiled, kissed her, then bit her neck so that his fangs pierced the skin. She writhed in pleasure as he moved inside her, again and again, legs wrapped tightly around his hips. He held her arms up with one hand still, and groped her body with his free hand. He moved smoothly, pushing into her deeply and forcefully, feeding off her vocal response. Her warmth surrounded him, and he could feel wave after wave of pleasure wash over him. He dug his talons down her side and back as he growled, releasing his seed in silky waves. She was his.

**Author's Note:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zzeNAUOp17c


End file.
